Am I Bipolar? - Bipolar Disorder Message Board

inspirations · 01-31-2004, 12:16 PM

A couple months ago I decided to go see a psychologist and a psychiatrist b/c I have had issues with controlling my anger (getting so angry about the most smallest, minute things) since I was about 14. Both said that they definetly thought I had depression but needed to get into it deeper b/c they thought it could also be bipolar disorder.

So now it is months later and I tried Lexapro, which didn't do anything for me except make me tired, and now I am on 300mg of Wellbutrin a day. I don't feel that my anger issues have been helped at all. I don't even feel like I am any less depressed. (Well, maybe sometimes it helps my depression a bit.) One minute I am excessively crabby (or depressed thinking life is pointless) and will snap at anyone that crosses my path and then 5 minutes later I am in such a good mood that I want to be around everyone and help in anyway I can. And at these points I talk peoples ears off.

It seems my docs have left the bipolar theory behind. I have been trying to read up on it through the internet (although I am aware some internet sources are incorrect) and from all the things I've read it seems I may be bipolar. This may be a stupid question but can you be mildly bipolar? I ask this because I think my manic times may not be the typical. I don't always get that I'm on top of the world feeling or so euphoric I don't know what to do with myself. I was thinking that maybe my manic times were when I became enraged for no good reason at all.

I also read what I think was one girls account of how she feels when mania comes on. It was like she was writing about me.

I guess my question is... to all of you that have been officially diagnosed; does this sound anything like how you are/were? And if so how might I bring this up again to my docs without them thinking I am overreacting?

All advice is greatly appreciated.

Thanks, Inspirations

butterflytrans · 01-31-2004, 03:07 PM

You don't sound bipolar from your description. There are 6 different types of bipolar, type I and II being the most common--depression with mania, and depression with hypomania. Mania is described as a mood where you are elated, feeling really good, racing thoughts, hypersexuality, less need for sleep, increased goal directed behaviour, reckless activity, disinhibition, excessive spending etc. etc. Hypomania is all the above, but to a lesser degree.

Does this happen to you ever?

wobbly · 02-01-2004, 09:26 AM

It's hard to know if you're bipolar, because most bipolar people's mood swings take place over periods of weeks to months. There is a type of mania called dysphoric or mixed mania which can involve irritability, severe anxiety, and oversensitivity to stimuli. But again, for most bipolar people, this could last weeks to months before they cycle into a period of normal mood or depression.
Certainly you should bring up your concerns with your doctor, and if he/she isn't receptive, you should ask why. A good doctor will also be concerned that the medications you've been taking haven't seemed to work for. Ask questions! You have a right to the answers. After all, it is YOUR health.
Hope this helps.

inspirations · 02-02-2004, 11:10 AM

After doing some more studying I am beginning to think that I may have what they call mixed episodes. I become severly irritable but at the same time so depressed that I am acting the way I am. Unfortunately I find it uncontrollable.

Regardless of whether I am bipolar or not I have printed out some literature on depression, euporic mania, and disphoric mania. (Thank you Wobbly. I never knew there were so many different types of BP.) I decided to highlight all of the things in the articles that happened to me. (Moods, actions, physical changes, etc.) After doing this I realized I had highlighted many things in all of the catergories. I plan on bringing the paperwork in with me to my pdoc on the 10th for him to review. I feel like this is a better way to go about bringing up this subject matter since I have a hard time talking to strangers about my life. Although I am aware that this will cause him to question my life in detail.

Whether I am depressed, bipolar, or whatever other disease I may have, hopefully this will help to find the solution b/c the AD's alone are definetly not helping.

Butterfly: I agreed with you for a very long time that I couldn't be bipolar because I seldomly have that "On top of the World" feeling. But when I began to delve deeper into being bipolar I have found through the readings that not all people display their manic stage that way. Several display it with irritability, impatience, brutal honesty (which I have a particular problem with), and impulsiveness. As wobbly said this is called dysphoric mania. I am not trying to "proove you wrong." Just trying to share some information that I have learned.

Thanks for the help guys.

butterflytrans · 02-02-2004, 01:44 PM

That's the thing though, what I was describing to you was mania...there is also hypomania (a milder form of mania that i mentioned) and also, I listed to you all of the things that can be possible if one is manic--a person doesn't have to display every symptom. Plus, impulsivity, and "brutal honestly" (I like how you put that

) all fall under disinhibition. In the mixed state that wobbly mentioned, s/he's absolutely right that there can be elements of both depression and mania. We're often told to use the whole MATT approach...mood, activity, talking, thinking. In depression, all four of those things are decreased, and in mania all of them are increased. Although mixed state has other characteristics, often you'll find that, with the MATT approach, there will be certain things increased, and certain things decreased.

Also, I mentioned before that there are 6 types of bipolar disease:

Type I - depression plus mania
Type II - depression plus hypomania (hypomania isn't always bad...because it's a milder form of mania, often patients just feel good, and they're able to do more goal oriented activity, and they're disinhibited enough to function well in society, but not be overly intrusive. To be honest, a lot of the time, hypomanic patients can be very productive members of society! (i.e. Winston Churchill!) It's the depression that's the worst part.
Type III - cyclothymia (rapidly cycling bipolar)
Type IV - depression with antidepressant induced mania
Type V - depression with a strong family history of bipolarity
Type VI - unipolar mania

types I and II are by far the most common, and then comes IV.