scared, scared, scared - Bipolar Disorder Message Board

bluelady · 06-03-2004, 08:03 AM

I'm newly diagnosed Bi-polar 2 (I've posted previously) and was just prescribed Lamictal. I'm really afraid to take this medication even though I've read up on it and it seems like a good choice. My fear is what will happen if I'm not really BP-2 and I take the Lamictal? Will it harm me? Will it make me feel worse? I've been on several AD's and just recently weaned off of Zoloft. It seemed to work at first but then I started to feel worse and worse. I tried different AD's with the same results. I just thought I had some kind of AD resistant depression or it was because of my thyroid but then I get this diagnosis of BP-2. I also have a non-toxic, multinodular goiter and take a very low dose of Levothroid for that. I'm not in denial, I'm just afraid of what will happen to me if I take the Lamictal and I reallly don't need it. I've had such bad experiences with the AD's that I'm afraid the same thing will happen with the Lamictal. I hope they're not confusing my thyroid problem with bi-polar disorder.
Please, can anyone help me out here? I'm really scared.

Thanks,
Bluelady

BrianKosh · 06-05-2004, 04:18 AM

Well, so fare I can tell u this,.. I have taken AD's half my life, and one by one, they eventually fail me. At first they work, later on they don't seem to work.. I swore by Welbutrin(SP??) several months ago... that was 300mg...XL.
I am now trying 450mg XL.. didn't know I could.. am also taking Lamictal. It's a new drug, I have never heard of, it is used to treat Bi-polar 1. It is suppose to stabilize the depression part.. but with all good meds such as these, u have to wait that 30 day period, before it REALLY kicks in... I did find it strange after all I told the doctor, that he did not also prescribe something that would at least suppress the feelings I have on and off now... The roller coaster of ups and downs is a real bummer, and I can honestly say I can do without it, I guess it's like, I've been this way 6 months, what does another month matter... Unfortunately it matters a lot..

so far, no results... BUT it's only been 2 days and no rash.. but a minor headache.. will the drug harm you if u do not suffer from the disorder.. nope.. could u suffer from depression and it is your hormones? yep... but It would mean that u are not producing them or not enough, and I actually do know I do not... ( genetic tests ) So why not just replace the hormones? expense and the side effects not too nifty.

but, I can not continue my current path, feeling this cruddy, up and down and up and down... Speak with your dr about the thyroid issues and get a second or third opinion as well.. Make sure all those involved know the meds u r on. As for the thyroid issue.. People who are treated for thyroid issues, may still require anti-depressants.. It is not unusual. (good **** my spelling stinks tonight..) ... ( u may want to look through the resources this very board supports and supplies it's users... ) Hopefully others will post messages about your issues u are having and that u feel better about stuff.. sorry, I was not much help... good luck!

bluelady · 06-05-2004, 10:38 AM

Where do I look for the resources?

Thanks,
Bluelady

lonelyangel · 07-10-2004, 04:24 PM

Hi bluelady,
I was recently diagnosed with bipolar condition 6 months ago. My doctor has me on Celexa and Serequeol. The Celexa I take during the day the other at night to help me sleep. I am sure there are several different medications out there for this condition. These medicines have seemed to help me, though with my bipolar condition i am also a cutter. Not sure if you are familiar with that term some people arn't. In other words self mutiliation. I usually only cut my wrists, and though I hate it when this happens I just feel so down at times and feel like there is no one I can turn to as my family, kids and most friends do not understand why I do this. I do understand what you are going through and your concerns. I would like to share a poem with everyone that I wrote. Not that most will understand, but from a person that is bipolar and a cutter this is how I feel when I cut. Today I wrote a poem I wrote it on my wrist, I wrote it with a razor blade, It ended with a twist. The blade was small and narrow, My heart was filled with pain, as i wrote the first sentence the blade hit a vein. I saw my poem run down my arm, I saw it drip to the floor, I saw it crawl away and run right out the door. I watched my poem drip, my wrist was so sore, I watched my poem fade away and then i saw no more... Though this sounds deep, its so much pain built up in me and though alot of people out there im sure don't understand cause i myself, at times don't i am trying to deal with my condtion the best I know how. I hope this helps some and I am here to listen if you need me. Sincerely lonelyangel

weasel · 07-10-2004, 04:43 PM

its scary, but scarier if you dont try it.....im on lamictal and have been for a few months. its been the best one for me, so hopefully it will be good for you too. i actually have energy during the day, i cry less than once a week (used to be every few hours) and i dont get racing thoughts, very much anymore.