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Old 09-25-2004, 03:52 PM   #1
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Does bipolar ever go away?

Does bipolar ever go away? Is it right for people to have bipolar and have a relationship never telling the person that they are bipolar? I am just trying to understand more about this disorder.

 
Old 09-26-2004, 03:15 AM   #2
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Re: Does bipolar ever go away?

No, there is no cure for bi-polar disorder (yet) and the disease will not go away.

But that doesn't mean that any symptoms/problems you might be having won't go away or at least see great improvement with proper treatment. Try googling for more info; there is a lot of good info about bi-polar on line, but be careful of what advice you take.

As for a relationship,if you are just casually dating someone, your medical problems are none of their business. But if you are getting into a more serious relationship, you should probably tell. Honesty is important to a good relationship, and in any case it will probably be difficult to hide at some point. Eventually you will have symptoms or need to go to the doc, and your partner will know something is wrong. Also, it is good to have help and support when dealing with any major medical issue.

My husband is bi-polar, and when we first started going out, he didn't tell me for a long time, but I always suspected something was up. It has been a struggle at times, but he has always been worth it, and we did end up married. So relationships are more difficult, but certainly not impossible.

Good luck.

 
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Old 09-26-2004, 04:56 AM   #3
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Re: Does bipolar ever go away?

Quote:
Originally Posted by analog2000
No, there is no cure for bi-polar disorder (yet) and the disease will not go away.

But that doesn't mean that any symptoms/problems you might be having won't go away or at least see great improvement with proper treatment. Try googling for more info; there is a lot of good info about bi-polar on line, but be careful of what advice you take.

As for a relationship,if you are just casually dating someone, your medical problems are none of their business. But if you are getting into a more serious relationship, you should probably tell. Honesty is important to a good relationship, and in any case it will probably be difficult to hide at some point. Eventually you will have symptoms or need to go to the doc, and your partner will know something is wrong. Also, it is good to have help and support when dealing with any major medical issue.

My husband is bi-polar, and when we first started going out, he didn't tell me for a long time, but I always suspected something was up. It has been a struggle at times, but he has always been worth it, and we did end up married. So relationships are more difficult, but certainly not impossible.

Good luck.

YES & YES this has been an issue with me and the wife for years. I or she did not know. I would tell anyone whom I was prepared to marry about the illness.
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Old 09-26-2004, 07:28 PM   #4
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Re: Does bipolar ever go away?

Absolutely yes.
Dating is one thing.
But I always knew that I would need to tell a guy if I sensed that things were getting more serious. So that he could decide whether he wanted to deal with my disease before he fell too deeply in love. It's only fair to give people information like this before going into something as life-changing as marriage.

But you'll enjoy this... I told my future husband that I had Bipolar Disorder, explained what it was, told him I was stable on medication at this time, that I had decided against having children, and that I would understand if he wanted to back off.
Well, no such thing. We walked down the aisle within 8 months of meeting each other.

Years later I find out he had NO clue what I was talking about, never bothered to look it up on his own, it made me wonder why I DID bother to give him "the talk"!!!

(I'm glad I did - mostly because it's the honest thing to do.)


Last edited by Ruth6:11; 09-26-2004 at 07:30 PM.

 
Old 09-26-2004, 10:48 PM   #5
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Re: Does bipolar ever go away?

theres no "cure" for manic-depression, though you can take meds to stay more stable. i hate how people make a big deal about telling people their manic-depressive, its not like your coming out to say "hey im gay". its a disease, just like cancer, accept this is of the mind. i prefer not to take any meds. though i'm extremely unpredictable, i find it better than being a zombie.

also, everyone these days is diagnosed as being "bipolar". its the latest fad in the psychology and psychiatric world, sort of how MPD was some years back. so unless your extreme.. such as going to the store and buying 50 packages of q-tips for no apparent reason... theres nothing really to worry about. some people can control their manias better than others, some just have it worse.

 
Old 09-26-2004, 11:33 PM   #6
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Re: Does bipolar ever go away?

So, if you are totally unpredictable than can u maintain a relationship? My ex thinks that he has bipolar, stopped Zoloft cold turkey and is a total monster. We had some issues that most would call work-outable and he now just cant be with me at all and wants nothing to do with any kind of relationship at all. He says that he is more happy being by himself, being a hermit. I guess I hurt him, but after asking many different guys, they all would not dump a girl for what I did. I am sorry if this may offend someone but it seems that all he wants and desires is to be selfish. He is the only one that makes him happy and he is glad for that. I though that I would be there for him through all this, but forget it, he does not want me. I have tried and tried to be there and to show I care but he is a brick wall with no emotions at all!

 
Old 09-27-2004, 12:46 PM   #7
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Re: Does bipolar ever go away?

butterfly, your boyfriend sounds more like a narcissist. but thats just from what ive heard so far. and im not an expert or anything. but i do read alot of books & study on this stuff alot.

most people are understanding when it comes to my manic-depression. if they arent then they should just get away from me. i dont think the depression or the manias bother them too much, just sometimes the irritability. i mean, i can get really bad... haha. i suppose its nothing to laugh about. both my mania and depression bring about good poetry, so... theres one thing to be hapy about.

 
Old 09-27-2004, 04:32 PM   #8
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Re: Does bipolar ever go away?

Personally I if I was the person without the disease, I would not have a relationship with me unless I was med compliant...
Sorry, but it's like marrying a diabetic who won't take their insulin and destroys what is left of their eyesight, circulation, etc.

 
Old 09-27-2004, 04:48 PM   #9
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Re: Does bipolar ever go away?

I would think that he is a narcissist, but he is too down on himself to ever be that. He has absolutely no self-esteem, but what can I say I know nothing of Narcississm. All I know is that he is totally unapproachable and cold.

 
Old 09-28-2004, 05:08 AM   #10
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Re: Does bipolar ever go away?

Absolutely!!! Well put post, and I couldn't agree more. My husband is bi-polar, and that has always been a condition of our relationship, but it has never really been a problem. He knows how much better he feels and how much better his life is with the meds.

Even though he has never stopped his meds, I worry, so we did talk about this once. He was hurt at first, saying "you would leave me because I'm sick?" I explained, no, I would leave him if he didn't care for himself. I wouldn't stay with a diabetic who was constantly going into insulin shock and expecting me to care for him, or someone with cancer who didn't get treatment, just waited for death. I have some health problems of my own, and I wouldn't expect him to take care of me if I refused to care for myself.

 
Old 09-28-2004, 08:02 PM   #11
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Re: Does bipolar ever go away?

Thank you for the info on Narcississm. I appreciate it. I wonder if the fact that he is an only child and was basically raised only by his mom is a factor? His dad is mentally not there, due to an accident that happened when my ex was like 2 months old. He cut himself, though. I dont think that narcists do that, do they? He also has absolutely no problem crying. He cried in front of me a good 5 times in the 3 months I knew him. I dont know.
For those of you with bipolar is it hard to trust even more so than people who dont have bipolar? I have asked about 10 different guys, ages ranging from 20 to 29 about the fact that I went into his emails, but told him all about it and felt bad. They all but one (the youngest one) said that no way they would not have dumped me for that. One guy even said that he would trust me more bc I told him. I just dont know what to do or think!

 
Old 09-30-2004, 09:06 AM   #12
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Wink Re: Does bipolar ever go away?

Um, I'm not sure I understand why someone posted "Bipolar goes away when you're manic"... no it doesn't! How could someone possibly say that? That's an entire half of the disease itself!!
In response to the original questions... absolutely tell whoever you're in a relationship with that you are bipolar. But try not to make a big deal out of it. Chances are, the bigger a deal you make it seem like, the bigger a deal the other person will see it in his or her mind.
I agree that there is no "cure" for bipolar as yet. However, there is a significant percent of adolescents who "grow out of it", so maybe there's a small percent of adults who do too. Also, it can go into remission for days, weeks, months, even years. I read a story about a woman with bipolar who went into remission for 44 YEARS before she suddenly started to cycle again!! So bipolar really is a pretty unpredictable illness, for better or for worse.
Kristina

 
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