2 parts of me... - Bipolar Disorder Message Board

cellgirl · 10-08-2004, 02:37 PM

Hi all
this is my first post. i have been diag bipolar since i was 15 (1995). i also believe i have generalized anxiety disorder as well. the reason i am posting is because my husband is getting ready to leave me for good. we have been married 3 1/2 years and the going has gotten rough. i am very controlling and he has learned to cave in to me and tell me what i want to hear, wether it is the truth or not. i am severely co-dependant and i cannot live like this and continue to make everyone around me miserable.i cannot controll my jealousy! i think aboiut him cheating all the time. every minute that he is away from me, i think he is with someone else. how do i controll this? i have tried thought stopping but it doesnt work. i just upped my meds to 10 mg of zypreza and just statrted lexapro. what do you all think?

mudhound · 10-10-2004, 03:10 AM

You have taken a huge leap. Just confessing this here shows that you are willing to try.

welcome to the board!

*music23* · 10-10-2004, 06:15 PM

Maybe you might want to investigate something called Borderline Personality Disorder. I don't know a lot about it, but what I do know, your description reminds me of. I may be completely off the mark; check it out though. It's just a thought.
Welcome!
Kristina

XmasCarol · 10-11-2004, 04:13 PM

Welcome to the board! You'll find some really nice people here with alot of ideas.

My advice to you would be to look inward for your answers, rather than relying on medication to take it away. Short of a medically induced lobotomy, when you face yourself in the mirror it will still be there. With or without medicine, jealousy comes from deep within and is experienced by pretty much 99.99% of the human population from time to time. You need to find out where it is coming from, not find ways to avoid dealing with it or trying to find a quick fix.

I have a question for you before I offer any further advice. Were you always jealous (prior significant others, friends, parents, even siblings) or is this something new? IMHO, jealousy is an outward sympton of our own inborn insecurity and/or low self-esteem. It can come from feelings of betrayal by various people over our lifetime which prevent us from bonding in a healthy matter with totally trustworthy people. Except in those case where you have already been betrayed by the object of your jealousy, it's best to try and see if this is simply habit from your past or is there something that is giving you cause for concern.

Also, until you figure out where it's coming from, I wouldn't go investigating any more "labels" right now... leave that to the doctors. Jealousy is quite common, and given your total current circumstances, it may be totally unrelated to a "disorder."

Soniarose59 · 10-12-2004, 05:13 AM

Glad you are here. I am figuring you are about 24. Being bipolar is hard enough and then we have to deal with other people! From my own stand point, I had a really hard time with relationships until this last one. If possible, maybe you and your husband can get into therapy. If not both, then maybe yourself. It doesn't have to be long term or real intense. For me, time has really shown me who I am or was. It has taken a while to deal with some issues while trying to deal with bipolar. As I have gotten older, my bipolar has gotten worse but I am learning how to deal. My husband is also bipolar so he is very understanding. Our children are also grown so that helps. You have a lot on your plate, don't go it alone.
Sondra