venting I think - Bipolar Disorder Message Board

havtabluvd · 10-21-2004, 09:57 PM

Hi All

, I'm new to HB and I'm doing something I've never done before: trying to be honest about me

I'm not one to talk about me and my problems, but I'm hoping here I can and maybe just maybe start feeling just a wee bit better

I was diagnosed about 10 yrs ago as being "bipolar on the low side" I'm not exactly sure what that means except I'm almost always depressed. I have very few "good" days. I've not seen a dr in about a yr and am about to get an appointment with one that I've never met soon and I'm worried that I'm gonna go in and scare the daylights out of him with all my problems and since the depression is getting worse, even tho I'm still taking my prozac @ 120mg a day, it's time. Every part of my life is being affected and I don't know what to do about it. My husband is a good man with his own personal demons and is very anti-doctor and anti-drugs. He tells me that I don't know what the prozac is doing to my brain and at one point I almost went off of it, but I really don't like me when I'm not on my meds so I decided I'm not going to stop taking them. So I'm not able to really talk to him about how I'm feeling. My mom tells me to "just snap out of it" and no matter how I try to explain things to her she just can't/won't understand. And explaining things is tough for me because I've always put everyone else first and don't believe that I should burden others with my problems and to be honest I feel that way right now. I'm not sure I'll press the "send" button because I'll burden ya'll with my problems

. I'm not sure what I'm asking, I reckon I'm just venting. So thank ya'll for your time and many blessings to each and every one of ya'll ~T~

Concerned39 · 10-22-2004, 05:39 AM

Havtabluvd- way to go.You have taken an important step in reaching out.Please keep posting as you are not alone in your feelings.I relate to what you are going through.Don't feel that you are alone.There are a lot of people here who understand where you are coming from.It helps to post and have feedback from others who go through the same things.I have found a lot of people on here who go through the same things I do, and I used to think I was alone in the symptoms I was feeling, but was surprised to learn I was not.Please post again whenever you feel the need to, we will listen and offer kind words and understanding.Good for you for reaching out.Bless you.

mudhound · 10-22-2004, 05:52 AM

vent away! This is the place for it.

Welcome to the board!

havtabluvd · 10-22-2004, 07:52 AM

Thank you soooo much for the words of encouragement! This is difficult for me, I usually lock myself in a room until I can "face" the world again. Never to speak of the turmoil I'd fought with behind closed doors. I'm certainly not good at explaining what's going on with me, (I mean it's me for goodness sake) so seeing a new dr is quite the challenge. The only way I know to tell what's goin on with me is to blurt it out in the hopes that the person I'm talking to can figure it out. I do make a list (I make lots of lists) of the things I need to tell the dr. I also worry that the dr's might think I'm just after drugs. I've gone months without meds waiting for the dr to get my records just so that I can have some "proof" as to what I'm telling them. LOL silly huh? Thanks again for encouraging me

~T~

gracetoo71 · 10-24-2004, 10:32 AM

welcome havta.. i know what you are going through, most of us here do. you have found a great place for venting, support, advice and just a great bunch of folks. i do not get any support in my home either, so i understand. sometimes not getting the support at home, makes you feel as though you are a burden to others, you are not. if those that don't support you came down with the flu, or illness of some sort, they would look for a bit of support from you. why should a mental disorder be any different? a mental disorder is sometimes hard to deal with, i know, my sister is bipolar and living with her was a challenge at times, but i understood that there were times she was not in control of her emotions. you have support here, vent if you gotta vent, we are all here for you. best wishes, and take care