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Old 12-02-2004, 06:02 AM   #16
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Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: West of Nevada
Posts: 179
downtrodden HB User
Re: "I'll be back !!!" ~ CaliTerminegger...

Nonny (thanks) I know you're right, but a lifetime of trying to NOT be like my father has conditioned me to an aweful non-acceptance of myself...

I will try to challenge that, but frankly - it's so engrained it's almost scary to start screwing around with all the defense mechanisms that are woven together, now...

A very good and respected (now deceased) friend (who happened to be the rare good administrator AND ex-football coach AND ex-private practice Family Psychologist) once handed me this on a platter (almost 20 years ago)... I paraphrase...

" When you are engaging others to challenge their internal belief structures, tread VERY softly... YOU will become responsible for bringing THEM out the other side in at least as whole a condition as when you started... Be certain before you do start, that you know where you're going - what you're dealing with - and exactly how to get to the intended goal. People develop their internal defenses over YEARS, and have survived to the point that you met them... If you start tearing those defenses down, you'd better have something in place to prevent leaving them totally defenseless and unprepared to deal with life's struggles... " ( ~ Akio Iwanaga )

HE was giving ME sage advice about doing informal counselling concerning my students and their families...

I now try to apply it to myself...

My defenses might suck, but they're the only ones I've got, and as I nudge at them, my foundations start to shimmy and shake !!!

Just a thought !!!

Last edited by downtrodden; 12-02-2004 at 06:15 AM.

 
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