princesspea

K

Hi! First off I haven't heard anything from hedge. I only talk to him here and he hasn't posted about his heart thing yet today. I think he said he was going to see the doctor today so if he doesn't post tonight I think I'll hunt him down and give him a heart attack (Just Kidding but I am worried).

I'm glad you couldn't stay away. I'm sorry you had a reason to HAVE to come back. Your situation sounds awful!

This is only my opinion so take it for what it's worth...I think your husband is being selfish. If he knows he has a problem and he knows how to get help, even if he wanted to change med or needed to, to not take care of his own illness is selfish. Then to blame you on top of it...that sounds like HIS illness talking. I can tell you from living with a man who is not depressed that this illness does not cause depression or contribute to it. Ya he might be under added stress due to your and your daughter disease but, his reactions are on him. My husband can sometime do something that "sets me off" but ultimately MY problems aren't caused by him. Okay I'll stop but that really upset me. I don't mean to insult your husband. That wasn't my intention and I even went to ask my husband if he got angry, upset or depressed when I was cycling he said frustrated sometime but NOT depressed, angry or irritable. I can tell you he doesn't get irritable either. I just don't think this is fair to you. Good for you standing up for yourself when he made that rediculous comment!

As to your daughter I don't know what to say. I'm sorry she is so ill and I'm sorry she had to move home. I don't think expecting minimal help from here is out of line. It doesn't sound like you're asking much. She is, at some point, going to have to be able to take care of herself. No matter how wonderful you are as parents...You're getting older (no insult intended) and she will have to face things on her own at some point. If she's not eligible for ssi, that's going to include work of some kind. You wouldn't be doing her any favors by not expecting her to at least work. I know bp's that are working and going to school full time. Besides you can always tell her if she is as stable as she seems to think she is, she should be able to work. It's that simple! You're not the one who should have to leave your home or even feel like you want to.

My heart aches for you. I can't believe you were going to try to go through all of this without telling us. You have to have an outlet for all this. I'm so glad you decided to post.

Okay you asked for ideas...here's mine. First I think your husband would problably have fewwer heart problems if his depression were under control. That's just my unmedical opinion but all that anger etc. should be agrivating that problem. If you can find any possible way, sit him down and tell him your concerned for his health instead of mentioning the depression. It might work. Who knows.

Now when it comes to your daughter I would say tell her to put up or shut up. It's only my personal opinion and only my opinion that she should at least be paying you room and board. I can understand helping out for a little while because she is your daughter but, it's still YOUR home. She's a guest. She needs to have insentive to respect that. If the only thing she is contributing to is the fact that you want to leave, she need to steighten up! She's going to have to be responsible for herself at some point that's just a fact of life weather she is a bp or not. She needs some reponsiblity around your house too. Maybe she can cook and do the dishes a couple of nights a week...something...anything.

Sorry this is so long. I guess I'm a little to opinionated . Hope it helps.

Love,

Jamie