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doing ok tonight and thank you..

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Old 02-14-2005, 05:00 PM   #1
Junior Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: groom lake, NV
Posts: 22
darkdancer HB User
doing ok tonight and thank you..

Thank you guys!!!


I soooo needed that reply from you today!!! For Sylvester and I its DVD night.. Boys night in with cell and comp and ‘’guy movies’’ but, Not what I once had planned…

I really hope I’m not the only one home alone (ok, kitty too) I figure that if I am alone, then ill do something cool, if just for myself (resident evil 2 dvd etc)… and on line (got calls coming though!) ..

Point is, we all can do SOMETHING, not dwell!!
ANYTHING!! And why not?

Watch a vid. .call friend. .whatever, just not become lost..
Anyway, this is my choice, no preaching here, just be happy and thank you..all

Did notice no comment on ‘’organic substance’’, hmm, ok, ya I occasion, sure.
Canada has a different view on things than states. British Columbia, and ok, ‘’not for everyone’’.
That aside, ..ah Wal-mart! Takes me what, 2 hrs for a simple, er, pack-rat, too. Choco-snackies and stuff. I am NOT a typical Capricorn by any means, I love the 2-4 friends party, you know, over ‘’animal house’’. ever feel like you are a time-and-place away from most around you? Not so much as the illness but, generally? I listen to celtic, techno, classic rock, alt. Rock, and some metal. Ill have 5 different cds in my changer at once on random!! And history or sci-fi channel on mute! Toons too, ya! Dvds, from ‘’what about bob ,to the matrix and pink floyd the wall to, benny and joon!! Oh ya , a beautiful mind and girl interrupted.. Notice a theme? Ah but, sci-fi almost anything and all time best fav show in the world..x-files!! Books, save that as you would not believe me if I told you!

Lets write a book, a dream, a reality, what is the first word?

Was in Toronto for the summer, did niagra falls and all and cool places with well, friend. Anyway, hated having to bee cooped in later and crashed after holidays. Isolation is a killer. A door has 2 sides, in/out..lets try the second one more! Doing just that during day when not busy. On line at night or ya ‘’tech-toys’’. …

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reality is a dream away...sleep well

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Old 02-14-2005, 06:58 PM   #2
Senior Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: quincy, wa, usa
Posts: 778
kiehn HB User
Re: doing ok tonight and thank you..

I dont think I was one that replied but Im glad to hear you're doing better!!!
Enjoy your movies, Happy Valentines Day, K

Old 02-15-2005, 05:59 PM   #3
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Arroyo City, Texas
Posts: 424
princesspea HB User
Re: doing ok tonight and thank you..


I'm sure I wasn't the one to respond but, I too am glad your feeling better.

We had a Cat named Sylvester. He was 22lbs! Black and White just like the cartoon.

I like your attituded about not dwelling on things. I think that's an important key to our stability.

I have to say yes on the feeling a time and place away things. I don't have social anxiety at all. But there are times when I'm in a crowd that I don't feel like I "fit".

I have to admit I'm a country music fan but I do like Pink Floyd. It's a blast from my past.

I like the history channel but, don't get the si fi channell. I've never gotten the x-files for some reason. I love si-fi even in books. (I'll read most anything)

The first word of the book should be We.

Good for you on using the out feature on your door. It does help in amazing ways.

Take care.



Old 02-15-2005, 06:05 PM   #4
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Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 3,336
Ruth6:11 HB UserRuth6:11 HB User
Re: doing ok tonight and thank you..

I'm home by myself alot. (ok, me & the 4 cats - Baxter, Chadwick, Bailey & Duncan)
I don't have social anxiety but I just prefer to putz around by myself. My husband works lots of "owner" hours so it's me and you folks for the most part.
I'm an oldies/big band/most classical type.
I'm a news junkie (hello DishTV) and usually have the TV on for company.

The next words should be... are a family.

Old 02-16-2005, 12:05 AM   #5
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: groom lake, NV
Posts: 22
darkdancer HB User
Re: doing ok tonight and thank you..

Cool, ok, ..
Thank you!!!!!!

Ok social anxiety thing.. First, I’m tall and I tend to stand out..a lot!! Manic and excited when out so hyper, very, my anxiety is mostly in that I don’t concentrate well out, like I’m high or something, or just cool to some..a flirt and I yep, red, and anything I’m a, well, just say that tangents are my norm. ok tall manic guy with leather jacket and chatty but not ‘’in your face’’ but still, attention!!

I stand out big time and its ok but, wew, getting tougher, or I’m older ha!…

After 2 years I had a sever episode/relapse after holidays and we parted. She was old school, her words, not familiar with mental illness etc.. anyway, I crashed and fate now has opened some things, but not yet. And she will do well, doors for her too.

I am just on shakey feet now and getting back to matters I left and new areas yet to be discovered. Anyway, one thing I need it to venture out more and not isolate. That is a killer for me if too inside. Not bad at times, but not a lifestyle…used to never settle down, now, the paranoia over the last few months hit me, when I came back from Toronto in aug, I became well except for linda, I never got out or did anything. Isolated myself and others. Then relapse. Anyone ever do that? Then you know.

Social anxiety is part of the paranoia I felt. Not used to it. Oh had a ‘’spending run’’ too, a week when we first talked of parting. I tried to hide the illness.. Anyone been THERE before? Oh I take full credit for this mess.. Total, complete , oh ya. Then naturally the last part I crashed and , well, all my mess. didn’t lie just she thought it was some dodge or scam or some such thing, not a real illness, and I didn’t say different. Ok, no points for intellect here, dumb and dummer van came by and I jumped in. lessons arent easy.

That is one reason over fear of rejection, I screwed up,

And yes, if she really knew, she would have said no. her words.

I don’t know, she was ******, so???

Thank you though, no ‘’sides’’ just I screwed up, and there are doors…inside and out…to open.


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Old 02-16-2005, 09:44 AM   #6
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Arroyo City, Texas
Posts: 424
princesspea HB User
Re: doing ok tonight and thank you..


I can relate to the crash after your trip. We go to Texas twice a year, which I love, and there is a crash when ever we get home. We plan for it. I don't know why it happens but it does everytime. It doesn't matter how stable I am at the time. We own a house down there so we have to go. I need routine though and you just can't get that on the road.

I like to be alone sometimes like Ruth but, I can isolate myself very easily. I walk a tight line there sometimes.

Have I been there with trying to hide the illness? You bet! I have stopped doing that now. I warned my husband several times before we got married. I refuse to hide it any more. I wear it like a badge. People can then decide if they want to befriend me or not knowing what they're getting into. That way I don't waste my time and theirs.

I love your sense of humor. The line about the dum and dummer van was great! Been on that van a few times myself!

Take care!



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