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Old 02-19-2005, 07:40 AM   #1
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maniasterisk HB User
Newbie needs assistance with prejudice against BP...

Barbarals (da newbie) said (in a different thread about initial diagnosis)...

I love to hear success stories like yours. My husband and I have only been married for a little over a year. He was diagnoised with bp in his late 20's. He is now 51. Since I have know him he has had one eposide after his baby brother died where he went a little manic and talked alot and it was hard for him to concentrate (he was finishing up his masters degree in psycholgy) and it literally took both of us to finish up his assignments. My point is my sisters saw a little of this mania and they flipped out when they found out he was bp. Now everytime someone kills someone on T.V. they all seem to be bp. My family is scared for me. My daughter won't let my granddaughter come see me with my husband at home. I am curious what percentage of bp people actually committ murder? How many physically hurt someone? I would love to get stats to show my family that most murderers are not bp. I guess Ophra Winfrey had a show on yesterday depiciting men who had murdered their wives and their attorneys tried to blame it on depression and their medication or in other words....bp. Help.....How do I combat this?

C'mon folks - I know you've got some great ideas out there !!!

Last edited by maniasterisk; 02-19-2005 at 06:58 PM.

Old 02-19-2005, 01:33 PM   #2
Join Date: Feb 2005
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TLP53 HB User
Re: Newbie needs assistance with prejudice against BP...

Hi there,
I have to agree with maniasterisk. My PDr knew there is such a prejudice for people with bipolar that she was afraid to even tell me. She had to prep me so to speak before she broke the news. Gotta say, she was right. First was denial, then fear and alot of crying. I knew I had depression in cycles but just thought the mania was normal type "A" personality. I had my own preconceived prejudice about myself. (Yep, you read it right) So much so that I haven't told anyone my diagnosis. There is one thing I know. Yes, suicide has crossed my mind more than once but I would NEVER harm another person. Never would, Never could. I don't know if keeping it to myself is the healthy thing to do but I know I couldn't take the prejudice. I feel the general population needs to be educated about BP (you only fear the unknown) maybe the media needs to do a big report on the subject to clarify what it "is" and what it "is NOT"!

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Old 02-19-2005, 03:26 PM   #3
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 8
barbarals HB User
Re: Newbie needs assistance with prejudice against BP...

thank you for your response. I feel for what you are going thru. I will never ever tell anyone about my husband's's too heartbreaking.

Old 02-19-2005, 05:58 PM   #4
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Arroyo City, Texas
Posts: 424
princesspea HB User
Re: Newbie needs assistance with prejudice against BP...

Hi Barb,

I take the opposite position on my bp. By saying that I'm not saying anyone else is wrong. Lord knows everyone has to handle it in away that's best for them. I would NEVER pretend that I knew how someone else should handle it.

I wear my bp like a badge. I try to educate anyone that asks. Those people who don't understand or don't want to take the time to know me...that's on them. Their loss! I realize it's more complicated when it's your daughter. I have had very few bad reactions. I don't know that I could live in the bp closet.

There is prejudice out there but I think it's caused by ignorance.

As for being homicidal. I agree with TLP though I go through rage when my meds aren't right I would NEVER hurt somebody else. Myself maybe but never somebody else.

Hope this helps in some small way.\



Old 02-19-2005, 07:31 PM   #5
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 8
barbarals HB User
Re: Newbie needs assistance with prejudice against BP...

Thanks, Jamie, I appreciate your response and I am glad you are not afraid to speak out about bp. When I tried to do this to my family they say I am defending my husband. I can't win for losing.


Old 02-19-2005, 08:29 PM   #6
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maniasterisk HB User
Re: Newbie needs assistance with prejudice against BP...

Barb - my apologies ~ I went back and edited to correct the spelling of your user name. I didn't write it down, and got confused with Barbasol (a shaving cream)...

See what the meds can do. In my case it's residual damage (or collateral, or whatever)...

I mostly wanted to acknowledge your last statement. That was one of my own mother's favorites: " Sometimes you just can't win for losing ". She was also married to a Manic-Depressive.

Gee, I hope that wasn't a "downer".

For whatever it's worth (statistically) a Doctor William Glasser has written that approximately 28% of our population could be given a psychiatric "diagnosis". It's an industry. There has never been a successful lawsuit against a Pdoc for injury due to a mistaken diagnosis. It's an opinion, as opposed to a verifiable fact.

You asked about stats. Your hubby's own family would therefore statistically average better than one-fourth being certifiable !!!

What the heck. They're bone-heads !!! Anyone so willing to crucify others might not be worth the time of day. What happened to judging people on their merits ???

While a court of law will not grant visitation "rights" to grandparents, there ought to be some way to get the parties in question to begin to question their own verdicts on your husband.

I would avoid confrontation (don't call them bone-heads to their faces) - but create what's known as "cognitive dissonance".

That means, they will probably pre-conceive HOW a "crazy person" might act (they're operating on a concept of crazy that does not require proof).

YOUR job(s) - that is YOURS and your husband's - is/are to make sure that he acts completely self-controlled and predictable when around ANY of your family. Being a thesbian ain't all bad (unless you start lusting for other actors). Eventually, one or more of THEM ought to begin to internally question their pre-conceived notions.

Present your statistics about his NON-threat in as matter-of-fact (unemotionally charged) a fashion as possible. Let them be the psychos.

I've played a lot of Poker. I've played a lot of People. We're all basically the same. Just some of us are more similar than others.

Old 02-20-2005, 04:23 AM   #7
Join Date: Feb 2005
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barbarals HB User
Re: Newbie needs assistance with prejudice against BP...

Thank you, you have helped me think about this in a different way.


Old 02-20-2005, 05:36 AM   #8
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Ruth6:11 HB UserRuth6:11 HB User
Re: Newbie needs assistance with prejudice against BP...

make sure that he acts completely self-controlled and predictable when around ANY of your family.
I have actual for real Bipolar Disorder (Type I). In my case it is a true physiological problem in the neurotransmitters of my brain. Shortcut - I have a chemical imbalance in my brain.

Without medication I am INCAPABLE OF controlling my behavior while in a depressed or manic state. You could tell me 14 ways to Sunday not to talk to fast, or to slow down. Not possible. Not physiologically possible for me.

I would be thrilled for anyone who ends up NOT really having Bipolar Disorder. But for those with a correct diagnosis, this "fair & balanced" thread is for YOU!

Old 02-20-2005, 07:50 AM   #9
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maniasterisk HB User
Re: Newbie needs assistance with prejudice against BP...

Point of order.

I used the word acting.

We are all, under common law social contract, supposed to exhibit reasonable self control. IF we demonstrate a distinct unwillingness or inability to do so, our freedoms can be withheld. We can also be forceably medicated. Diagnosis or not.

Regardless of diagnosis, each individual makes countless choices every moment of every day.

Gee, do I let myself go - and go "bird bananas" - or just suck it up and wait in line with the rest of the rank and file.

When I said "act" - in many ways life is a stage. We choose consciously and unconsciously what manner of personality we project.

Having a diagnosis does not change the overall truth - and if a person is indeed NOT capable of reasonable degrees of self control, then serious external controls must be considered.

Freedom = Responsibility

Neither can exist exclusive of the other.

Now, asking an individual with Bi-Polar to be on their very best self-aware behavior is NOT in any way unreasonable. Meds or not. Especially IF they're trying to make a statement that they are indeed stable enough to be trusted around children.

I'm not sure where that last post was coming from.

Last edited by maniasterisk; 02-20-2005 at 07:53 AM.

Old 02-20-2005, 09:31 AM   #10
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Ruth6:11 HB UserRuth6:11 HB User
Re: Newbie needs assistance with prejudice against BP...

Dear dear MIA... We are so fundamentally at odds here.
A TRUE bipolar (not someone acting out of personality disorders, etc) exhibits symptoms where asking them to "behave" is not only unreasonable it is impossible!
Sure, someone with an abuse past, a Borderline Personality Disorder, etc may be able to use cognitive therapy to effect their behavior.
But not a true Bipolar - especially a Type I with absolute depressions & manias.
Look at some of the other boards - Someone with a Personality Disorder, or a survivor of child or sexual abuse - those people have a chance to use therapy to their advantage in learning how to deal with their "behavior".

But a true Bipolar's "behavior" is due totally to the chemical imbalance not from something in their past that messed them up that they are not "dealing with".

Can you agree that there are Bipolar's - and also Bipolar's with additional psychological issues that affect their behavior?

Otherwise, they could shut this board down and I would have no need of it since I wouldn't really have Bipolar Disorder.
Which I do.

Old 02-20-2005, 09:41 AM   #11
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maniasterisk HB User
Re: Newbie needs assistance with prejudice against BP...

I will agree that your reasoning appears bi-polar.

The world is not black or white.

We do not have clean slates exclusive of our experiential learning.

We CAN treat or attempt to treat the chemical issues.

We can and should do what we can to otherwise deal with our own behavior and personality development.

It is a combination of both.

I have trouble understanding why you seem threatened by that.

Old 02-20-2005, 10:13 AM   #12
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Location: IL, USA
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*music23* HB User
Lightbulb Re: Newbie needs assistance with prejudice against BP...

I also am doing all I can to combat stereotypes against bipolar.
Not last month, but the January before last month, I was on TV for my bipolar. WGN was doing a story about me. In fact, they got a shot of me scrolling down the healthboards main homepage list when they were mentioning how I diagnosed myself when I was 12 and stuff, and that I help other people.
When I first told people that I was going to be on the news about my bipolar, many people advised me against it. One of my band teachers heard of it since they got a shot of me at school playing my quints (set of 5 marching tenor drums), and he actually sat me down in his office and told me he wasn't sure it was a good idea. I was actually a little hurt by his implications, but I understood why he was concerned.
When it aired (9 o clock news and news at noon the next day), I got a very positive response from everyone. People I haven't spoken to in years, people I've barely spoken to, friends of other family members, tons of people called our house in the next few weeks and asked to talk to me. Everyone said how much they admire me for going on TV and talking about it. "You will never know how many people you helped," said one person. "You may have saved lives. People watching may be inspired to get help, and they know they aren't alone."
The unfortunate thing about mental illness stereotypes is that, yes, in a small, tiny, infinitesimal number of cases, someone in a severe psychosis or other severe condition will commit some wrongful act. And when it happens, it makes headlines. People see it and associate these acts with mental illness. What people don't see is the humongous number of cases in which these things do NOT happen.
That is why it is absolutely crucial that people with bipolar and other mental illnesses make it known that they have these conditions. People must begin to see that these stereotypes are wrong.
A little bit goes a long way.
Just doing what's quintsessential...

Old 02-20-2005, 10:13 AM   #13
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Ruth6:11 HB UserRuth6:11 HB User
Re: Newbie needs assistance with prejudice against BP...

I feel more concerned than threatened.
People who have bipolar disorder will have it whether they have a bad childhood or not.
My concern in this type of venue is someone who has bipolar disorder may decide that they do not need medication - that they can "control" their own behavior - when they can't.
I understand fully that we all have moods. If they are caused by an emotion, they can most usually be controlled. It they are caused by a past even, they can be helped with therapy.
A TRUE BIPOLAR's moods are caused by the chemical imbalance in their brain and I fear that without acceptance that the brain CAN have a disorder CAUSING behavioral problems you are leading others to believe that they either do not have the disease or do not need medication.
With a humongously big hug cause I love you anyways,

Old 02-20-2005, 10:36 AM   #14
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maniasterisk HB User
Re: Newbie needs assistance with prejudice against BP...

Music - (you fellow drummer, as opposed to musician LOL)...

Your posting was wonderful.

I wish such stuff was always true.

I made the mistake of mentioning "it" to a trusted friend "on the links". The very next time I couldn't show up for our regular 4-some (and I'd told him my dogs had appointments) - the guy goes and spouts off in the clubhouse how " Well, you do realize he's crazy. He's Bi-Polar, and he's probably just not here because he's in one of his moods !!! ".

I was shocked. HE had advised ME not to mention it to anyone else, as it might come back to bite me in the arse. And this gentleman is a church elder and leader of worship services !!! We'd been supposed pals and confidants for a year.

I found this out from another of the members during my next appearance at the course.

My assessment... He worships golf along with God. He likes to play competitively against me (for $$$). He forgot I'd told him the week before about my dogs' Vet appointments (and the $300 cost). Out of his own probable disappointment and inability to recall my earlier explanation - he went to the sensational.

I feel his actions were inappropriate. Too bad I ended my studies short, or maybe I could grant HIM a formal diagnosis.

Oh yeah - he was also righteously P O ' D that I had performed ceramonious "whoop-asss" on our last 3 or 4 golf excursions - AND (he fancies himself THE Poker player) couldn't deal with the fact that the same had held true regarding cards (the latter in front of his son-in-law).

Still, even if in supposed jest - that sucks.

Old 02-20-2005, 10:51 AM   #15
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maniasterisk HB User
Re: Newbie needs assistance with prejudice against BP...

Ruth (separate but equal status)...

Actually, in many respects I couldn't agree with you more.

Some virus or something rode back with me from Reno. Apparantly, it somehow found my left vestibular nerve, and the result was/is vertigo/nausea.

Yeah - I won it in a Poker game !!! What a bunch of loser low lifes - hey wait - I'm one of those, too !!! Just Kidding (to you fellow card afficiandos).

This malaise is weird. I feel ALL out of sorts for a while - then dizziness - followed by the " somebody get a bag ready " syndrome. If I didn't know better, I'd suspect that I got "given" this to keep me from driving up to a qualifying tournament (in Reno) this week for the vaunted World Series of Poker. I WAS supposed to go up on Tuesday (and hopefully Saturday), but it looks like I'll be sucking Dramamine, instead !!!

How (you ask) has that got a thing to do with your last post.

Well, those around me said that JUST prior (like the last 4 hours) to the dizziness - I'd start to act like an agitated SOB extraordinnaire.

I wasn't all that aware of it.

I just knew that I felt like total crap - and just about anything set me off (bright lights - loud sounds - the smell of fresh cat feces - and most particularly a too warm climate)...

So I agree.

There are times when all the therapy and deep breathing in the world won't change the internal BLAST WAVE !!!

Thank goodness there are meds for those times. I only wish I could tolerate them on a more regular basis.

My current DSM-IV official size and weight diagnosis asserts Mixed-State with Extreme Drug Resistence. Yes, there is such a thing.

((((((((((((((((( hugs )))))))))))))))))) - but don't catch this bug, it sucks.

The labyrinthitis data said it could last weeks. I get periods of hours where I'm sort of OK to drive, but Dagnabit - my wife is in Oregon attending a wedding, and I've got to take care of "sponsitilities". Did I mention our young child ???

Last edited by maniasterisk; 02-20-2005 at 10:59 AM.

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