Well I must have taken a nose dive today, because I truely wish I were dead.
Actually every single day life is a constant fight but today it all built up and I just couldnt handle it. Ive been cursing God all day long. I truely believe he hates me and enjoys torturing. Theres no other excuse. I used to be a devoted christian and knowing God is in total control of this world, he mamade the heavens and earth, allows or disallows suffering, I believe he decided to make my/our life a living hell 3 years ago and since then it has been. DONT preach to me about a loving God because as fair as Im concern if God loved so much, this world it wont be in the shape it is, children wouldnt be mollested and raped. Elderly wouldnt be abused and abandoned
and forced to eat dog food to afford their perscriptions. Dont see much reason for this post except to vent. Like Sucks and I the only escape is death, Im looking forward to mine. Dont worry tomarrow I put my happy
face back on, try my best to ignore the pain until next time, K
I just want you to know that in the short time I've been reading the boards (but reading alot!) , what YOU have written has helped me. Lifted me. Informed me. Comforted me. I look forward to hearing your wisdom.
Here are a few faces for you to try on for tomorrow.
HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS
Feel better, T
Ahh, if we could only change what happens in life, for everyone. I wonder if we just could control our own what would life be like?
Tomorrow is another day. The sun will set and rise again. I hope your tomorrow is so much brighter than today.
Your thoughts are appreicated and comforting, Thanks K
You're always there with comforting words, hope you're feeling better today, K
i have heard this once before God is in each of us, maybe thats why although I
was taught different I still strive to care about and help others even though I
feel anger towards God. It's still a little confusing for me especailly when I dont
understand why bad things happen to innocient children, elderly and the weak.
Something is wrong with this picture. Thanks for your words at least why I act
as I do, and irregardless of what God actually is or whether he cares or not, Im
cant stop caring. Thanks for the compliment as well. K
Thanks for your compliment and for the new faces for today there are cute, K
Hope you dont mind is I call you SBDaisy,
It would be nice if controling our own world protect us from the rest of the world, but
it doesnt work like that. When Im focusing on my own world things arent too bad
it's when I have to deal with the rest of the world life sucks. Except for a few that
really care like people here, but it seems there's not very many around these days.
Dont worry I'll find my happy face put it back on and get back in the ring. Thanks, K
Ya you're probably right hear it swallows all of us would have just fed my fire
as true as it is. In my case it soon as it gets a taste of me it spits me right
back out. lol
I probably would be a kick out of the posting you refered to but Im a little
confused as to where to find it. You have a very unique way of looking at
things that I find very interesting. Thanks for you imput. K
I read you post to jen1008, considering this is coming from another bipolar that
some may at times be consider totally physco, : ) once again I compliment you on
your ability to express yourself so well, outspoken, clear and with a spice of humor, yet with a touch of a hidden message here or there, impressive. I must admit I dont have that ability but if I did I would choose a style such as yours. Im amazed you
have such clear thinking without med. I on the other hand turn into a raving delusional manic physcopath. Without meds I would need to be in a state hosiptal
for the rest of my life. Cant quite remember your exact words but it was something to the effect the deeper one goes in one direction the deeper they go in the other and I
agree 100%. When Im at the bottom of my depression wihtout med Im catatonic.
Now on the other hand I truely enjoy hypomania, just not the down swing. Thanks
again for sharing you thoughts, everyday I learn something new here. K