I come here every day to read and I feel like I have so much on my mind and want to join in, but I am not sure I even have this bipolar disorder so I feel kind of funny posting, but I don't know who can even relate to me anymore, so i thought I might stop by and ramble a little and see what happens.
Today is Tues. Starting like Sat, I was a little irritable and a little tired. Sunday went well, had plenty of energy into Monday morning, there was really no stopping me. exercised, ran a little, laughed a ton, talked 800 miles and hour. typed in my journal nonstop to get everything out (now I am thinking of it I still missed some stuff). Anyhow, by last night I was screaming and yelling at the kids, just wanted to sleep and wrap up in a million blankets. I am freezing to death all the time and I am so tired of being cold all the time. I just HATE it. Oh, and I can't remember anything. Like who I told something to or even if I said something or just thought it. I think I might repeat myself a lot, but people are just being polite not to say. I am swinging between wanting to do everything to wanting to do nothing.
Now my period came today, I have never had pms issues, but maybe I do now, I dont' know anymore. i cant control a lot of things right now. I go from no eating and all coffee, to all anxious eating all day long. I know I should slow on caffeine and eat better and its like I just get going and I am like a runaway train.
I have been off the depakote (after being on a wk and a half) for 2 weeks now. I have a new therapist I see tomorrow at noon and I can't wait. I always look forward to these appts and get such a let down, that I am flooring the car and screaming obscenities the whole way home. I am hoping this time will be different.
Thank you anyone for listening. I really do appreciate any comments, advice, etc.
Thanks Hedge and Mudhound. I am certainly going to try to be honest. That is why I am switching to a new therapist. I am just so sick of this whole mess, been going on for 6 months or so. I almost HAVE to journal because I am so worried I will forget some useless piece of info-LOL!
For me the forgetfulness is common place that is if I can remember where that is, lol
I make lots of lists then hope I can remember where I put them, sometimes I can laugh at myself other times I cry just depends of the day. Just a suggestion take your journal or even a copy of your posting here to your appt. If you have specific
requests about trying a med without certain side effect such as weight gain ask for it.
Like Hedge and Mudhound said welcome and post as often as you feel the need to.
Post about anything, if you'll notices the topics here range from a-z and and a combo
of anything. You be surprised how your own posting may help someone else. Ive learned so much here. Good Luck at your appt and Keep on posting, K