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Old 02-22-2005, 08:39 AM   #1
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maniasterisk HB User
Pardon me, Dr. Phil, but.... How many ships would you sink ???

This indirectly relates to bipolar. It certainly almost triggered me, yesterday.

Dr. Phil advised the parent(s) of a drugged-out teen to basically give all else up to save their daughter.

Noble thought. Not very wise.

I have lived through raising teens, my own and step.

We do the very best we can for them, but their mistakes are theirs to make.

We support them, and are there for them when they are ready.

The near-exact statement that the no-bull doctor made was " Better to live in a tent - than live in a mansion and have your child wind-up dead " (or some version of that).

He was chastising a parent for NOT risking his JOB to run to his child's side.

Problem. You cannot necessarilly save the child. You can sacrifice your own financial (and hence emotional) future by tossing it all way in the gambit.

I understand priorities. But I also understand realities.

Do we sink all the ships in a risky ploy or desparate attempt to save one ???

Just had to get that out !!!

~ ED's serious side.


PS ~ What about the rest of the family's happiness, much less their welfare ???

What about the hypocrisy of saying one ought to be a "tough love parent" - and enforce personal responsibility - yet then give it all up when the going itself gets tough ???

I've been there. My adult children suffered through horrendous times. Thankfully, they both survived to breathe successful air. Their mother (on the other hand) only lengthened their and her suffering by sacrificing all that she had worked for. We're divorced. It was only after she "bottomed out" financially and could no longer be leaned upon, that the kids matured to the point of self-sufficiency. They hated me along the way, but have now grown to respect my efforts immensely. They have both thanked me heartilly, since their changed perspectives were allowed to blossom.

Last edited by maniasterisk; 02-22-2005 at 08:42 AM.

 
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Old 02-22-2005, 08:56 AM   #2
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yelps HB User
Re: Pardon me, Dr. Phil, but.... How many ships would you sink ???

In that same show Dr. Phil put a 17 year old alcoholic male into rehab. I think that was the right approach because those parents did not know what to do. The girl on cough syrup should be in treatment also. I guess Dr Phil meant sell your house and pay for treatment. I dont agree with that, there are free treatments such as the Salvation army.

 
Old 02-22-2005, 06:46 PM   #3
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Re: Pardon me, Dr. Phil, but.... How many ships would you sink ???

Mani,

Let me start by saying I'm sorry this was a trigger for you.

Being a recovering rx drug addict and alcoholic I don't believe the parents should give up ANYTHING to put there kids through treatment centers.

I found my own way through. I also think I appriciated it a lot more because I did.

Yes there are free treatments. Yelps suggestion of the Salvation Army is a good one. There's also good old NA and AA. They've worked for millions.

If my parents wouldn't have let me fall on my face I would never have gotten sober and then dx'd with bp. I had to realize my life was going to keep going the way it was going if I didn't do something to change it. They never put a dime into my treatment on either front. For that I am truly greatful.

Love,

Jamie

 
Old 02-23-2005, 07:44 AM   #4
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maniasterisk HB User
Re: Pardon me, Dr. Phil, but.... How many ships would you sink ???

Jamie - You certainly are a sweetie !!!

SOOOOO glad you were able to tough-it-out !!!

(((((((((((((((( Jamie ))))))))))))))))))

M*

 
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