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Old 02-23-2005, 11:07 AM   #1
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goofyafter2 HB User
what do i do now???

So lets see i had a kid in July, went on prozac in Aug. and off and on and off and on. Then in Jan. I took way too many, couple days later had a panic attack, went to the hospital, got diagnosed bipolar. went on depakote for a wk and a half, til I got mad again at therapy and quit the depa. for 2 wks now. See a new therapist today, i am so hoping to get help, tells me I can't get in to see the p-doc for 6 weeks. tells me to call my reg dr or ob for an anti d unless I can rough it til I see the dr. My reg dr is a quack and my obs office shoved me out to the therapy place. I have spent all afternoon crying and eating. Now i am drinking cappacino contemplating what to do. I have so many darn moods that I was so hoping to get some kind of new med to try. I just want to be somewhat normal. i was never perfect but i know it was better than this. Any advice?? any shoulders for me?? I just do not know what to do any more. I just dont know. i am sick of giving up and i am sick of trying. i dont know what the hell is wrong with me , but something is. thanks for listening any one out there.

 
Old 02-23-2005, 11:24 AM   #2
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dragon25 HB User
Re: what do i do now???

Hi 'Goofy'

I know how you feel and I have been there. I think we all have at some point. I am not good at giving advice so I will be you shoulder to cry on. It just feels like nobody understands and nobody cares. Hang in there until you can see a doc and I say keep trying new meds. There are so many out there to try and maybe you will find one that is right for you. We all care about you!!! Don't give up!!!
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Old 02-23-2005, 11:32 AM   #3
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goofyafter2 HB User
Re: what do i do now???

Thank you Dragon. You have made me misty all over again. but how can i keep trying when I have to wait so long. i just don't know if i can "tough" it out or not. its too hard. everyone else can do it, why cant i. i hate to give up, but i don't do a whole lot of things right anyhow, whats one more.

Sorry, thank you so much for caring. i can never shut up.

 
Old 02-23-2005, 12:48 PM   #4
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dragon25 HB User
Re: what do i do now???

Hi again,

Everyone else thinks they are unable to do it too. I know how hard it can be. Don't you have any family or close friends that you really trust and can talk to? Maybe they can help get you through. The world seems out to get you right now but there is someone out there who cares. Since you have a kid, maybe that will help you through, do it for the baby. It needs you so much and you need to be there to care for it. I am crying for you because it hurts me to see you in such dark times. I am just hoping you will feel better soon. I know you can make it through. I remember my toughest times and how I cried all day and through the night and I didn't even want to live, but I am here now an feeling much better. I wish you so much luck and I will be thinking about you.
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Dragon

 
Old 02-23-2005, 02:19 PM   #5
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princesspea HB User
Re: what do i do now???

Hi Goofy,

I know it's hard to be where you are. It's going to be harder to take the time you need for your meds to work with a little one. Having to wait 6 weeks to get into see a pdoc is a little rediculous. I'm sorry you have to wait so long.

If you can't stick it out, don't forget it's not a failure to go to the hospital. It shows a lot of strength actually to get help.

If you want to try to stick it out...I suggest that you post here everyday until then. Use us for a shoulder no matter how you're feeling. Vent, yack, cry, yell whatever you need to do. We're here for you every step of the way. It can be long or as short as a word.

Try to get out for a walk one a sunny day. Try to eat some chocolate. Try to set as regular a bedtime (I know it's hard with a little one). Hug that baby and remember why you are here. Know that you are loved just the way you are. {{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}

You're not allowed to shut up here!!!!!! Or tell yourself too. You always help someone with every post.

Love,

Jamie

 
Old 02-23-2005, 03:07 PM   #6
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goofyafter2 HB User
Re: what do i do now???

Thank you guys so much! I really have no one to talk to, that is why I am trying so hard to find people like me. Even though all of us people are alike in more ways than I ever knew. (but thats a whole nother story). I did go to the hospital last month and it seems like a year ago. To get to the point (finally) I spoke with dh when he got home and decided I would start back on 40 mg prozac. I still had a whole bottle left with a couple refills. he will dispense them to me every night as I am not able to take them properly -lol!! we figure it will be better then being on nothing at all. I cried so hard today and I am just tired of feeling so badly. Hope this will work, if nothing else it will keep me "hyped up" for a month. That energy should be back soon!! So I guess there is a bright side. I just hate it though. Is everyone as contradictory as I am?

Thank you all so much!

 
Old 02-24-2005, 09:10 AM   #7
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princesspea HB User
Re: what do i do now???

Goofy,

Just wanted to give you a round of applause for going back on your meds and having your husband dole them out! Good for you.

I'm surprised they put you on an SSRI by itself though. SSRI can set off mania in a bp. It is better than nothing until you can get back into a pdoc though. Especially as depressed as you are.

My husband doesn't give me my meds but he reminds me everytime I'm supposed to take them. He bought me those little containers that are devided up into days and a pda so I could set myself alarms. I guess what I'm trying to say is he is very in vested in my taking my meds too.

LoL! Yes I am very contridictory too. I think it's the nature of the bp beast!

Take care and keep us updated on how you're doing.

Love,

Jamie

 
Old 02-24-2005, 12:26 PM   #8
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goofyafter2 HB User
Re: what do i do now???

Thanks Jamie! I have a problem of taking too many or none. I was kind of disgusted too (thought I finally kicked prozac), but I certainly did not want any part of the depakote either. Guess I will just play it by ear.

 
Old 02-25-2005, 10:07 AM   #9
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dragon25 HB User
Re: what do i do now???

HI! I just wanted to drop in and see how you are doing, Goofy. I hope you are doing a little better. I will be away from the computer for a few days after today (surgery) so I guess I will find out when I get back. Best wishes!
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Dragon

 
Old 02-25-2005, 12:29 PM   #10
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goofyafter2 HB User
Re: what do i do now???

Dragon, you are too sweet! I must have missed a post about the surgery. I will look around and I hope all goes well. Lori

 
Old 02-25-2005, 01:14 PM   #11
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loopyturtle HB User
Re: what do i do now???

Hey Goofy,

Just wanted to encourage you a little. I'm working on trying to see a p'doc, myself to try to get things more sane in my life, so I can relate. I know it seems really really hare and discouraging . . . but it is amazing how we can suprise ourselves. These boards really help, too, so keep posting.

-Loopy
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--Loopy

 
Old 02-25-2005, 01:57 PM   #12
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goofyafter2 HB User
Re: what do i do now???

Thanks Loopy! I am so worried about you! I really hope you can things figured out for you too! Yeah, just getting crap out of my head helps incredibly. Take care, Lori

 
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