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Old 03-07-2005, 07:34 PM   #1
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jll81081 HB User
Question Hi I'm new

Hi everyone..... I'm not sure how all of this works or even if it will work. I am 23 and I am bi-polar. I was told at 16 and have delt with this from then on. Recently my boyfriend and I were having problems related to this disorder and he can't understand. I don't know what to tell him or what to do. I went to the dr today and i am getting new meds tomorrow but how do I save a relationship with someone who has no idea what I have??????? Can someone anyone help me????
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[CENTER][COLOR=Lime][SIZE=2][FONT=Impact]Life is like a cup of tea it's all in how you make it

 
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Old 03-07-2005, 08:01 PM   #2
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Jean1973 HB User
Re: Hi I'm new

[SIZE=3]Send away for info on bi polar or get on the computer and ********/print info on the illness. I directed a family member that way and they seemed to have gotten the message. undefined[/SIZE]undefined

 
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Old 03-08-2005, 03:05 AM   #3
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goofyafter2 HB User
Re: Hi I'm new

Hi and welcome! I would also recommend the internet for info. Even get some stuff from your dr when you go (if they still do that). Try to let him know that things should settle down once you get on your meds, or if you are in therapy etc. Hopefully, he is understanding. Let us know how it goes. What are they putting you on, if you know yet? Good luck! Hey, maybe he can go with you to your visit. Is that an option? Love, Lori

 
Old 03-08-2005, 08:30 AM   #4
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Location: Minnesota, just moved from California where I lived my whole life.
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polarized13 HB User
Wink Re: Hi I'm new

Hi. I wanted to verify my diagnosis, too. You can find a questionnaire on the web through wedmb, just follow the prompts. I answered yes to every single question....if you have already been diagnosed, chances are you are bp. It was VERY hard to accept that I had a mental illness. And it's true, once you find the right combination of meds, things should get better. You are still young enough to have kids, you should check with your doctor to see if the meds you are being prescribed are safe if you get pregnant..a lot of anti-psychotics aren't. Your boyfriend WILL probably have a hard time dealing with this in the future no matter what. Problems and episodes are a part of the illness. Even with the best health-care. Life happens. Hormone changes, stress, all kinds of things can cause problems. But you learn to cope. And so will the people in your life. If your boyfriend isn't able to deal with it, you will find someone else in the future who will. But you need support, love and understanding. Encourage him to learn about it. I was downloading stuff and leaving it on my husband's desk. I asked him go with me to my p-doc apt. Don't let your boyfriend make you feel bad for being sick. It's not your fault. There is SO much ignorance out there about mental illness. Some people don't even think it's real, just some excuse for us to behave irratically and blame it elsewhere. Dont stress. Just hang in there, OK?

 
Old 03-08-2005, 10:53 AM   #5
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Location: Saint Louis, Missouri
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Kahlia25 HB User
Re: Hi I'm new

Being in a realtionship is hard enough but being BiPolar is harder. Try and ask you BF is he will go to the DR. with you and tell him if he has questions that it is OK to ask your DR. about them. There are tons of info on the internet....on WEB MD. You can let him read about your illness. If he is willing, it is hard when another person won't try but if he will, then you are lucky.......Good luck and let us know what the Dr. says......Kahlia
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I have seen many things BUT the most terrible thing I have ever seen was the lack of compassion for another.....................Kahlia

 
Old 03-08-2005, 08:18 PM   #6
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Colefort HB User
Re: Hi I'm new

Hey,

My point of view is almost from the exact opposite side, so maybe it can help in a different way. My girlfriend is 25 and bipolar. We have been going out for around 8 months, and have just recently experienced major difficulties due to her being bipolar and not taking her meds/playing around with them. I can't tell you what your boyfriend will do, and I hope so much that everything works out for you, but I wish more than anything else in the world right now that my girlfriend would open up to me and talk to me about it. It seriously kills me inside to see her suffer, and not understand anything of what is going on with her. My girlfriend told me what she had, but never let me understand what it means for her. As a result, I can't really give her whatever it is that she needs from me. Sooner or later you know that you are going to have to let him deal with it, and if he really loves you then he will be strong for you. If he can't love you for who you are, then you should find someone who will. I'm pulling for you

Cole

 
Old 03-09-2005, 07:44 PM   #7
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Location: Bean Station, TN, usa
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mudhound HB User
Re: Hi I'm new

A Big welcome from Mudhound!
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God Bless

Mudhound

 
Old 03-13-2005, 12:47 PM   #8
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jll81081 HB User
New meds and a new outlook

Thank you to everyone who answered my "cry for help" I have been to the doctor and they put me on lamicital(sp?) It's only been a week so I don't know anything yet but I am hopeful.
As for my beloved boyfriend....... I printed him a bunch of stuff about BP and he says he still doesn't really understand but then again who does. He is trying so hard and being so sweet. He keeps saying I just don't want you to think you are in this by yourself. I guess in a way I know that he wants to help but at the same time I don't know if he can or really what he would do. There are still days when I think this is all just a bad dream and it will all just go away as soon as I wake up and I've known I had this for almost eight years. Does it ever get better or easier to deal with??????
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[CENTER][COLOR=Lime][SIZE=2][FONT=Impact]Life is like a cup of tea it's all in how you make it

 
Old 03-13-2005, 01:08 PM   #9
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goofyafter2 HB User
Re: Hi I'm new

I would like to know the same thing. I am only diagnosed as of the beginning of this year and have also begun lamictal about 10 days ago. My dh keeps telling me i am still not right. will I ever "seem right" again? I am glad your b-friend is trying so hard to be helpful - just lets you know how much he cares. I am glad to have found this group to share with! Are you having any side effects? Take care. Love, Lori

 
Old 03-14-2005, 10:31 AM   #10
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Location: North Carolina
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jll81081 HB User
Re: changes

As for side effects I don't know yet I will have been on the meds for a week tomorrow. I have been on a variety of other meds.... Prozac depakote trileptal etc. They all had sie effects that I couldn't deal with like weight loss, I never wanted to eat. I went manic alot and thats never good. So for the lamicial is working fine except the fact that it makes me sleepy.
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[CENTER][COLOR=Lime][SIZE=2][FONT=Impact]Life is like a cup of tea it's all in how you make it

 
Old 03-14-2005, 05:42 PM   #11
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 455
goofyafter2 HB User
Re: Hi I'm new

I have been on for about 12 days now. I was very sleepy last week, but I also had a horrible cold. I have just started getting very energized this weekend and I am loving it. I could run around like a nut all the time and be fine with it. Hope you continue feeling good! Lori

 
Old 03-18-2005, 10:31 AM   #12
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Join Date: Jan 2005
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kimber lee HB User
Re: Hi I'm new

hi i am new also,and your post is the first one i have replied on, i, also bipolar, diagnosed at age 34 now 42, had a very understanding husband that went through the whole magilla with me, we are divorced now but still are very close freinds.
The best advice i can offer is to tell your boyfriend is to" NOT FEEL GUILTY" The guilt he will experience through all this will be far too great to try to deal with, so tell him that there is nothing to feel guilty about, and that you love him. Guilt can kill a person and ruin relationships self esteem etc, so tell himm relax and jusst be there when you need him. thank you, good luck ,kimber lee

 
Old 03-18-2005, 11:27 AM   #13
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 236
angelblue65 HB User
Re: Hi I'm new

Welcome. You've definitely come to the right place. Might I suggest that your BF read some of the postings of others with this illness, specific ones that you pick out, that let him in on some of what you feel. Of course, you don't want to be reading/posting to the same board as I'm sure you want your own private outlet but it has helped me tremendously here reading everyone's own personal stories (my BF is BP II and we have been together one year). Colefort's posting rang so true and I second his thoughts. If your boyfriend loves you, he will find ways to educate himself. I truly wish good things for you.

Keep us all informed. We care.

 
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