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Old 03-14-2005, 01:35 PM   #1
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princesspea HB User
USBAIRDS needs our help with her son...

Hi guys let's see if anybody can help Linda with her problem with her son. I took this out of another thread so more people would see it.

Hi,
I'm a mother of a 17 year old son. Oh God, I don't know where to start. He's recently been diagnosed with bi polar disorder. He seems to self medicate with weed, alcohol and in the past meth. He flat out refuses to get on any kind of drug treatment through the psychiatrist. He refuses to live at home in a warm, loving environment. He runs away as soon he becomes remotely uncomfortable. Just when I think things can't get any worse, they somehow do. He blames ME for EVERYTHING. Why, I have no clue. I'm not perfect but I am a great mother. I'm loving as well as someone who disciplines when needed. I've always been Zach's biggest cheerleader and always on his side. But, no matter what it is, I'm to blame some how, some way. My son has been arrested for burgulary already, we tried a specialty boarding school (b/4 we knew he was manic-depressive), He's been in drug rehab, etc. etc.. All in all we've been there to support him always and we've spent thousands and thousands of dollars and we're further behind than ever. Is there someone out there who can relate? HELP! I'm the one needing support now.
Linda

Thanks everybody!

Love,

Jamie

 
Old 03-14-2005, 01:50 PM   #2
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Re: USBAIRDS needs our help with her son...

Linda,

Let's start with a {{{{{{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}}}}}! Honey I'm sure you're a great Mom. Please know in your heart that you didn't cause this...any of it.

A lot of us have self medicated. In my case I had to stop that before I could deal with my bp symptoms but, like any other alcoholic/addict I had to hit my bottom first. I know since this is your son it is the hardest thing there is. Now this is only my opinion but, you're too the point where you need to apply a little tough love.

Yes he is bp and that's an illness but, if he's continuing to stay on the drugs etc. and refusing his meds these are all choices he's making. You've already spent thousands of dollars and much emotional pain on this. There is an organization that can both help you and support you though this and that's Alanon. They are tough love experts. Since you're dealing with a duel diagnosis, you need to pick one to care for first and in my opinion it's the alcohol and drugs. If your son had heart disease or diabetes you would want to get the drugs out so he could deal with his problem. I don't think this is any different. Since he's been through treatment, I'm sure you know there's nothing you can do unless he wants to help himself no matter what his age.

It sounds like he's heading down a slippery slop with the burglery. I wish I could help more but, this is all I have...Maybe another {{{{{HUG}}}}}

Love,

Jamie

 
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Old 03-15-2005, 11:24 AM   #3
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Re: USBAIRDS needs our help with her son...

Linda~
Hi I'm Jordan and in so many aspects I am the female version of your son. I never got into drugs or legal trouble maybe I should have. I got the news at 16 I am 23 now.... I drank skipped school and took up smoking cigarettes. I drove drunk so many times I should be dead now. I blamed my mother for everything because she also has BP. I missed so many days my junior year that I should have never passed but somehow I did. Looking back now I know how much my mother tried to help me and how much pain I caused her but when you are in the moment you are blaming everyone because at that young age you don't want it to be your fault. I know now that me having this is no ones fault but at 16 I thought it had to be blamed on someone and it wasn't going to be me. I would get up every morning and get ready for school go drive around until my mom went to work and come home or I would just drive all day going nowhere. I drank everything I could get my hands on and turned to sex as a way of being in control. Your son can't see what he's doing right now and won't unless you help him see the light and he needs to know that there is hope. My mother took me to the mental health center and they put me in the hospital for a few days where I didn't have a choice but to listen and to take the meds. I can't say that this will work for you or your son but it did for me and I love my mother more every day for it!!! You also might want to look into seeing someone so that they can help you understand why he does the things that he does.
I hope this helps you in some way
Jordan
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[CENTER][COLOR=Lime][SIZE=2][FONT=Impact]Life is like a cup of tea it's all in how you make it

 
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