I hope that no one minds me posting on this board. I have ocd and obsess having bipolar every day of my life. I don't know why the ocd has manifested to this subject matter, but it has. Everyone in my life tells me that I don't have bipolar, and I really don't think I do either. But, I always worry about it. So, I was hoping someone could share what their ups and downs are like. Here's my problem...When I have a good day, where things aren't bothering me, life seems pretty good, and I'm remotely productive, I obsess that I'm bipolar. I don't suffer from major depression, of course I have days where life seems alittle tough, but I deal fine. I get moody, but I don't think it's extreme. Doesn't everyone get moody???? From what I read and hear, the moods need to be extreme, and, other symptoms exsist also. What makes the difference between normal moods and bipolar?? Yes, I have alot of stress, yes I lose my temper, yes I have great days, yes I have terrible days. So, hopefully someone can help me understand how bipolar works in their life. Thanks for listening...
Great question. I really had to stop and think about a reply. I can just tell you my experience with this and as all people with bp are different hopefully you'll get lots of different answers. Usaually this is where I list the symptoms but it does sound like that's what you need...so here goes.
For me the moods are extreme. Very high highs where I go buy stuff, my libido is out of control, everything's perfect in the world, I could hold two job, need little sleep and am 10 foot tall and bullet proof. I have to add here that I can go into extreme RAGE! Not angery or iritable RAGE! I Raged so bad that I almost hit my husband across the head with a broom handle. That broom missed him and broke over a metal door frame. The frame was dented.
When I'm down I am VERY down all is hopeless, I am worthless, I am suicidal, I just feel like a waste of skin. I don't want to talk to anyone, I sleep all the time and can't quite wake up. I don't take care of myself. I don't do much of anything when I'm out of bed except stare.
One of the important things is that situations don't neccessarily bring on these moods. You can feel them coming on and if something happens while one is coming on it can effect it but, our brain chemistry actually caused it. Does that make sense. There's nothing you can do to stop them except through medication. I guess what I'm saying is you're totally out of control when you have bp.
The good thing is through modern meds and therapy we can and do live happy productive lies.