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Old 03-23-2005, 07:25 AM   #1
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blondi372 HB User
Depakote and Seroquel

Has anyone ever taking these meds? My boyfriend has just been given them and is afraid to take them because of listed possible side effects. Several years ago he was taking Resiperidal (spelling?) and ended up in the hospital almost dying from Tachycardia. So I am just trying to see if these meds might do the same thing.

Thanks.

 
Old 03-23-2005, 08:57 AM   #2
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polarized13 HB User
Re: Depakote and Seroquel

Hi blondi.

Yes, I was on Seroquel for about 9 months. At first it worked really well for me, but at the time I was recovering from a long manic episode that left me exausted, and experiencing severe insomnia, and anxiety. It was the right med for me at that time. But later on when I had gained some stability in my life again, I was actually overmedicated by it, and I slipped back into depression. That's why it's so important to keep close communication with a doctor, preferably a psychiatrist when you are on anti-psychotic meds. I know others from this group who use seroquel, and do just fine on it. Everyone's different.

I don't know about the problems that you mentioned that put your boyfriend in the hospital before. I assume that the doctor that prescribed them is aware of the problem he had on the previous medication.

By the way, I did experience a pretty large weight gain on the med, but I was pretty skinny before I took it, so it was ok for me. Now that I have stopped taking it, the weight is coming off. It's been about three weeks I've been off now.

Good luck to you and your boyfriend. There's a lot of good info on this board if you're interested in learning more about coping with the illness, I would definately encourage it.

heather

 
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Old 03-23-2005, 09:09 AM   #3
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Re: Depakote and Seroquel

Thank you Heather for your input. I really appreciate it. It is really hard dealing with day to day life with someone who has Bi-Polar as everyone is aware. The problem to is my boyfriend has gone so long without treatment that he is really bad. Everytime he goes out of town to work I am constantly being accused of cheating, talking to other men etc. I am so tired of defending myself, I know you shouldn't argue with someone in a manic episode, but it upsets me so bad. I suffer from depression as well so the arguments don't help me. Everytime I turn around he is mad at something and breaking up with and moving out, but then never leaves.

He did discuss with his doctor about his previous experience with meds so that is why they are going to try the Depakote and Seroquel. He has very bad insomnia right now maybe sleeping 2 hours a night which in turn makes him cranky and irritable which then turns into an argument with me. Just around in circles we go. I try not to take everything so personal, but sometimes it is hard. I really hope that he decides to take these meds soon because I don't know how much more I can take.

Thanks for listening everyone.

 
Old 03-23-2005, 09:21 AM   #4
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Re: Depakote and Seroquel

I'm so sorry that you've been going through that. I have put everyone close to me though hell when I was imbalanced. My husband and I split up several times in the ten years we've been together. I would hate his guts one minute, and then come over in tears apologizing later on. I feel terrible about that now. I think if you can get him stable on meds, it will get better. You should read Colefort's thread about his girlfriend. (guy trying hard to love bipoar girl) I'm sure you can relate.

Take care!!

heather

Last edited by polarized13; 03-23-2005 at 09:26 AM. Reason: added something

 
Old 03-23-2005, 10:26 PM   #5
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Re: Depakote and Seroquel

Hi, and yes I have been taking Depokote for about six months. For the first month I did have bad headaches, upset stomach, the worst of all of the side effects for me was the burning skin sensation.

Bob

 
Old 03-24-2005, 04:14 AM   #6
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Re: Depakote and Seroquel

It is really hard to deal with sometimes. He has been out of town all this week and every night we have argued really bad. His paranoia is so bad. I have cried every night this week just wanting it to end. He threatens to cheat on me, he threatens to leave me. I don't know how to handle all of this. Can anyone offer some advice on how to deal with it when he gets this way? I just hope and pray that when he gets home that he will start his meds and start getting better.

 
Old 03-24-2005, 12:03 PM   #7
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Re: Depakote and Seroquel

Hey Blondi,

I think the thread "what's wrong with my mom" is a really good one because it refers to co-dependency on another person. It's easy to get caught up in that kind of a relationship especially with your mate or partner, when they have issues like mental illness, or drug or alcohol addiction.

You have to keep yourself healthy (emotionally) first and foremost. If you let his illness pull you down also, then you are both going to spiral into a never ending cycle.

Like I said before, hopefully once he get's stablized on meds, everything will improve, but if things don't, you should really consider if you want to continue a relationship with someone who is hurting you like that. I understand (believe me, I do!!) that it isn't necessarily his fault that he is acting the way he is. He is sick.

But I know for a fact that my husband would not have reconciled with me the last time if I had not been willing to see a doctor, and work on my issues, and commit to taking meds for the rest of my life, regardless if they made me gain weight or whatever.

It's a commitment you make to yourself and your loved ones to recover. Not unlike people with drug addictions have to go through. ( I have been there, too!!)

No one deserves to be treated badly by someone even if the someone is sick. There is help out there, and if he isn't willing to really recover, then I would move on.

I know that sounds like a really cold, hard answer, but you need to think about your future, before you know it you will be in your mid-thirties, and there is no going back.

Wishing you the best, take care of YOU!!!

heather

 
Old 03-24-2005, 12:10 PM   #8
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Re: Depakote and Seroquel

Blondi,
My heart goes out to you. Dealing with someone in a manic state is impossible. All I can say is you need to take care of YOURSELF at these times. You do not deserve to be mistreated. Being bipolar may be the cause of your boyfriend's behavior but it is not an excuse. If you need to leave the house during these episodes the so be it.
I think it is a positive thing that he is considering medication. I have been taking seroquel for quite awhile and it has been very helpful. The only side-effect I have is that it tends to be sedating, so I take it at bedtime. I've never tried depakote but I know several people on it and they seem to be doing well. It's actually one of the "oldie but goodie" meds for mood swings.
Keep the faith. Be supportive but not to the extent that you are being abused.

 
Old 03-24-2005, 12:18 PM   #9
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Re: Depakote and Seroquel

LOL Heather. I am already in my mid-thirties.

Everyone including my therapist tells me to take care of myself, but it is hard to do that when you are having to defend yourself all the time from the words that come from his mouth.

I am trying really hard to just look over the things he says and turn the other cheek, but sometimes I just can't.

He is on his way home now from working out of town for the week so I sincerely hope that he will start the meds tomorrow.

Thanks for listening everyone.

 
Old 03-24-2005, 12:41 PM   #10
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polarized13 HB User
Re: Depakote and Seroquel

Hey,

That's funny. I don't know why I assumed you were younger. Silly me.

I guess that raises the stakes a little, cause it always seems harder to start over later in life - (even though we're still young)

Please let me know how it goes, ok? I would just keep encouraging him, we really are different people on meds, but finding the right ones, and staying on them is tough. We can always rationalize a reason for stopping... And that's like falling off the wagon, kinda.

good luck!!

heather

 
Old 03-25-2005, 05:07 AM   #11
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Re: Depakote and Seroquel

Ok so now my boyfriend is back home from his out of town working trip and is accusing me of changing all of his passwords on his email accounts and saying that my profile on my email says something that it doesn't. Why is he doing this? Now he is threatening to leave me again and I don't know what to do. There is no convincing him of anything in this state. I love him so much and don't want to lose him so what do I do?

Please help.

 
Old 03-25-2005, 05:37 AM   #12
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Re: Depakote and Seroquel

Hey,

Maybe you can (temporarily) remove yourself from the situation. If he realizes (and he will once he mellows out and calms down probably) that he needs to be rational and stable to be around you, and in a relationship with you, then maybe it will be the push that he needs to do the work to get better. But if you stay, and allow him to act like that, then you are just enabling him.....

I say its time for the ultimatum. Definately.

It took the people in my life turning their backs on me for me to see how much of a problem I had. At first, I didnt get it, I blamed them, but I had to face it eventually. Hopefully, this is rock bottom, and it might get a little worse for a while, but then it will get better.

I can only tell you what I would do in your case. Maybe someone else has some other advice for you, I don't know. I'm so sorry you are going through this, I know it's hell.............

good luck!!

heather

 
Old 03-25-2005, 06:02 AM   #13
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Re: Depakote and Seroquel

Thanks Heather. It is really helpful to talk to someone that can guide me through this. I am at work now and he is home so I just won't call him for a while and see if it gets better.

 
Old 03-25-2005, 06:26 AM   #14
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polarized13 HB User
Re: Depakote and Seroquel

Hey,

I can only give you advice. There are no right or wrong ways to cope with a situation like this. I'd say this is a good time to listen to your own gut. Instinct is the most valuable tool you have when something like this is going on.

It sounds to me like he's in a manic episode that's been going on for a while now. These can last for months without meds....he's definately going to be more receptive to any conversation when he's on the depressed side of things. It could be a while before he gets there, so don't expect it to change right away.

Best wishes!

heather

 
Old 03-25-2005, 07:29 AM   #15
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Re: Depakote and Seroquel

Whew, do I know what you are going through and my heart goes out to you Blondi! My advise, take one day at a time ......

My daughter is Manic Depressive BP, ADHD and Dev. Delayed, but when she's Manic - it's bad. She'll spit out her meds, call me names, throw things basiclly, she thinks the world is against her. I'm a single parent and it's hard, but she is my life and I would never leave her to deal with this all by herself, she's only 18.

There have been times when she has gotten so bad that I have had to call the police to help me. Stefani's moods are always up and down, one minute she is happy and the next she is very depressed and cutting. Her Dr. calls her a "Mixer" because her moods are so unstable from one minute to next.

My daughter takes both meds, depakote 2x a day (500gm) and 100 mg of Seroquel once a day. I found that I need to give Stefani her night dose of Depakote and Seroquel at about 5:30 pm, the seroquel makes her very sleepy with in 20 minutes of her taking it. Her eyes get glassy and very red. But I have to say it helps her sleep. When she is at her worst, she'll be up for at least 2-3 days .....

I have noticed that it's hard to get her up in the morning though. I was told that the side effects of the Seroquel are possible ticks and weight gain. My dd has gain about 15 pounds since taking the seroquel.

It's hard to see my dd go through this, sometimes she'll come up to me and say "Mom, I don't know why I hurt you like this, I can't help it" I was just told that she is now showing symptoms of Schizophrenia (hearing voices and seeing things).

I once let my daughter sink to her lowest point hoping that she would see the support she has in both me and my parents, sometimes it works and other times it doesn't. I'm not sure what the answer is, but make sure that you are taking care of yourself too.

Sometimes I think that my dear Stefani is a little fallen Angel who just needs me to help her .....

This is the best way I can describle her and what she must feel like when she is at her worst:

"My fallen angel is my 18 yr old daughter Stefani, she has tried several times to end it all but by the grace of God I have found her each time to help this little broken angel make it one more day. I feel like my baby girl is a fallen angel who is scared to death and lives in fear and is held so tightly by the dark, by anxiety, and stuck there, in a hole so far down out of reach of reality. Life is like a nightmare that she can't wake up from. So as her Mother, I remind myself everyday to NOT give up one her and spread my Mighty Motherly Wings to give her the strengh she so desperately needs to spread her little wings so she can fly once again like the angel she is!"


Hang in there Blondi ......... and good luck!
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Mother 2 Stefani

 
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