I just wanted to let my friends here know that I may not be around as much as usual. Just when I thought I was feeling better, I sank back down into a deep depression. I have been reading the posts but find it hard to give any responses. I lock myself in my apartment and try to "disappear" from family and friends. The only one I am comfortable with is my boyfriend. I am going to ask the doc if a change in meds is in order. I am desperately struggling to survive. I needs all of your thoughts and prayers.
One more thing-
I wanted to know if anyone knew if there is someone who could help with the money issues of being bipolar. I have insurance but it is not enough. I live alone and am only 25. I have a decent paying job, but with the apt., car payment, and all the other bills, I am having a hard time paying for my meds and doc appts. Any advice or help would be appreciated.
I will try and keep everyone posted if I can on my progress. I will always be reading though so keep writing.
So sorry to hear you're down. Nothing can last forever --especially in the world of bipolar--but I know it can seem like it. I've been doing quite a bit of isolating, myself. It's strange. I know that it isn't going to help anything, but it has such a seductive pull when I'm down. Know what I mean?
On the financial side, well, I don't think I'm a good advisor in that arena. But as you know, there are plenty of years of cumulative life experience floating around here, so maybe someone else has some tips.
Location: Minnesota, just moved from California where I lived my whole life.
Re: down for a while...
I don't really have any advice for you about the insurance situation, other than I would probably try calling my insurance company, and asking them if they can offer any suggestions about what you could do to supplement what you already have.
I haven't been an insurance billing clerk for about 13 years, so it may have changed, but I know I used to see patients with a primary insurance through their work or whatever, and then they would have a supplement through the state. You would probably have to go into your local health department, and fill out some forms. That was in California, though, so I don't know how it works in other states.
I'm really sorry about your depression. If you feel like talking about it more, I'm usually around. I have tons of other stuff I need to be doing, but I keep ending up on the couch with my heating pad, cause it's the only thing that helps with my pain. I used to just stare at the T.V. when I felt like this, but now, that laptop keeps calling me instead.....another addiction, I know, but it's gotta be better than vegging in front of the tube, right?
If you still don't feel like talking, I understand that too. It's a messed up thing to be depressed, and it can be so exausting just 'surviving'.
Hi Dragon, Sorry you aren't doing so well. I wish I didn't have to leave my house either. Anyhow , I am not sure what to do on the financial front. My bills are just starting to roll in now, but I refuse to worry about them. I really hope your doc can help "straighten" you out. Glad you are keeping close with someone. Love, Lori
Thank you Lori, Heather, and Loopy, for all of your support.
A little update... This weekend was the worst, so close to hospitalization. Uncontrollable crying, self-mutilation, no eating, sleeping too much. The more upset I got, the more stupid I felt about acting that way, so, the more I cried.
I am was a complete mess.
Now I am acting. Somehow I am making it through my days at work, putting on a happy face. Then I go home and sleep. I sleep until I have to work again. I am a robot. But I am alive, luckily, and I am thankful for that.
Thanks again you guys for your support and understanding. Thanks for being here for me. You are wonderful.
Oh Dragon, I am so sorry you have been feeling so badly. Have you talked to your dr? I hope you are still having your boyfriend to lean on. I hope you are feeling better soon. We always do eventually, right? Just try not to forget that. Love, Lori
Dragon-as far as your finacial problems, I have been there. I am a healthcare professional and BiPolar. There is a family services office in your city...where do you live, if I can ask? They may be able to help you with the cost of meds etc....they do me. I live in Missouri. I have been getting financial aid with my meds for 2 years, even though I have an income from Social Security. It just is not enough. As far as you moods go, just try and get through them....it is tough, putting on the happy face. I wish you well...Kahlia
I have seen many things BUT the most terrible thing I have ever seen was the lack of compassion for another.....................Kahlia
Hello again. I made it through another day and night. I am feeling a little better today. Very strange, I started my period today. Shouldn't I feel worse? Who knows, right? I seem to be such a mess.
Lori, you are such a sweetheart. I was giving you words of encouragement in the beginning, when you were new to the board, but now I am thankful it is you who are encouraging me. You are a great person.
And yes, I still have my boyfriend to lean on. He is the reason I am alive now, I believe. He is so patient with me and understanding. He is the one who keeps me going. He wants to take me to the zoo this weekend because he knows I just love animals, and I could use the fresh air, mood permitting of course. I realize I have someone very special.
I haven't been able to see the doctor yet. That goes back to the financial situation. I have rent, car payment, and insurance, all due on the first. I might borrow from the lovely boyfriend though. He has already offered but I turned it down at first. I already felt I was being such a burden.
Kahlia, I live in the DFW Metroplex in Texas. How would I go about finding the family service office? I really need help with the financial situation. Any info is greatly appreciated. Thanks so much for your support too. The boards here really keep me going.
I LOVE the zoo!! You really should get out. This way you won't have to deal with people animals, but nice animals!! Make sure you get some cotton candy and junk food too while you are there. You should reconsider borrowing the $$. It is so important to get right and then worry about the rest. Hugs, hugs and more big hugs to you!!! I hope to hear of a turn around soon!! Take care. Love, Lori
P.S. If you were such a burden, I doubt he would still be hanging around. He rocks!
My mood is improving but I am still coping with the extere irritability. I don't want ANYONE around me or to talk to me. This is making it difficult to make it through work. I expect this to pass soon. I know much of it has to do with my pms.
Lori, I am so excited about the zoo! I am also going to Six Flags with my sweet man on Friday. That should get the adrenaline flowing! I am having an action packed weekend. So many fun things! I should be feeling better in no time!
Reesie, thanks for your info. My mother uses MHMR and she doesn't have to pay anything. She is bipolar too. We are not close so I didn't ask her about it but I did look it up on the internet and was confused a little so I guess I am just going to have to make a phone call and explain my situation and see if they can help. Thanks again Reesie!
Have fun today Dragon! I hope you have a wonderful weekend filled with love, excitement, laughter and junk food!! I am too jealous - LOL! Think of me sitting in the garage with 2 children getting my car fixed , then later in the day meeting friends for pizza with 2 kids. Now which would YOU rather be doing!!! Love Ya!!!! Lori
I just wanted to let you know, I am finally going to the dr today , so we will see what happens. Also, my blood pressure was THROUGH THE ROOF yesterday!! 188/113. Normal is 120/70, high is 140/90. I don't know if that could be related to my moods or what, but gonna get it checked out.
I wish you luck with you kids, car, and pizza! I will let you know how everything goes.
Yikes! Hope the bp thing was just some kind of fluke thing. I made it through the auto mech unscathed. Kids were good, only a half hr and $24.00. How good does it get???? Besides that its snowing again. Cant wait to hear about your weekend! Love, Lori
Turns out the dr thought it was the effexor! We talked about what to do. He thought of taking me off and putting me on something else but instead he gave me yet another pill to lower it and raised my effexor a little for the depression. I am still waiting on blood and urine test results to make sure it isn't someting else.
My weekend was AWESOME! It was just what I needed. We rode all the big scary, rides. Some twice. The zoo was so much fun too! The monkeys are too cute! After the zoo we took a nice long nap (4hrs!) and then went on a Walmart shopping spree!
It's snowing??? Here it is so nice, about 75 degrees. I don't like the snow much, it's too cold for me!
Well, I am glad your weekend went well. let's hope our future weekends go just as well! And I stay out of the depression!
OMG Dragon!! I am SO glad you had such a great weekend!!! It sounds so perfect, right down to the shopping spree!! Will the dr take you off the effexor if thats what it is, or just give you more meds?
My Saturday went from good to bad. I was an angry,irritable person all day plus my refrigerator broke, The guy will come look on Wed, but for now all of our crap is outside in a snow bank. Its supposed to be 70 by Wed so - oh well!