Family! - Bipolar Disorder Message Board

Picali · 04-10-2005, 02:20 AM

Hi Everyone

New to this - would really appreciate any advice anyone can give me regarding my family. After 6 years of illness, was finally diagnosed with BP 2, medicated and stabilised - I'm sure most of you know what that's like. However, I still have probs with my family, who seem to think I'm just lazy and can't be bothered. They are very reluctant to help me out unless things are at rock bottom (ie when I'm in hospital) and they all look down on me because I don't work - I have tried but I just can't cope with that and raising my little boy alone - he's only 3 and he's been through so much already that I don't want to put him through anymore. I just find all the negativity really difficult. I've given them stuff to read and suggested websites, carers groups etc which they have read but they say it doesn't apply to them (?) and they can't do any more than they are doing (which is bugger all). Anybody else been in a similar situation? Would appreciate any feedback. Thanks xx

Kahlia25 · 04-10-2005, 07:58 AM

Hello and welcome-I can TOTALLY relate to your issue. I am also Bipolar and my family thinks I am the "crazy" one that will not work...I am on disability. I have tried, I cannot do it. Surround yourself with friends and other Bipolar people that understand what you are going through.....your family will not change as I have found, that is work and they don't want to do it. They will not read anything about my disease, they think I am Lying????? THEY have the issue, not you. You are getting help......keep getting it......Kahlia

Picali · 04-10-2005, 08:56 AM

Hi Kahlia

Thanks for that, it helps to know I'm not the only one! I do try and spend more time with my friends than with them but they are hard to put off - they think because I don't work I have loads of time and should be available whenever it suits them - it seems to be a no win situation! But thanks for the advice, I will concentrate on my buddies and myself. Hope you're keeping well, Picali x

BlessingsGalore · 04-11-2005, 09:44 AM

Have you ever thought about moving FAR away from them ? Distance ends a lot of that.

I come from a whole family who are BULLY'S and BI-POLAR and none of them know it. They think I am the problem. I have spent YEARS working on myself and trying to understand the dynamics of the family only to learn that I will probably NEVER break through to them......they are never wrong and that I cannot live with the DENIAL of almost every issue that comes up.

We have been estranged for many years and I am happier, and healthier for it.

SAD but TRUE. Sometimes ....ALL YOU CAN DO.............is SAVE yourself !

Picali · 04-11-2005, 09:58 AM

Hello Blessings

Thankyou for your reply. I had to laugh when I read it - all I think about is moving as far away from them as possible!! Yours sound very similar to mine - I have spent years in therapy - they think I'm crazy when I am actually the healthiest of all of them! And you're right, we can't ever talk things through because they deny there are any problems - they say it's all in my head!
Money is stopping me moving at the moment but I will do it as soon as I can! Glad to hear that it helped you. Thanks for posting

Picali xx