I haven’t posted very often, mostly because I’m, well, overwhelmed a lot of the time by schoolwork (I’m a graphic design student) and other day-to-day “stuff” – but I do visit a lot. I was diagnosed with BPII last October. Anyhow, can anyone out there relate to this feeling of barely keeping a grip on life’s endless to-do list? I don’t know how you moms out there do it, I really don’t. Truthfully, I’m sure that compared to a lot of people, I’ve got it pretty easy, yet I still find it so difficult to stay on top of things. Last week, I jumped all over the fact of coming down with a cold just so I could feel justified in taking a day off.
On top of all that, I feel like I’ve been all over the map mood-wise for the past month or so. I was having a particularly tough time with an assignment a while back, spent Easter Monday crying like a whiny child as I worked on the thing, all of which triggered a depression which lasted for over a week. Once the depression lifted, irritation set in. Through it all, there have been bouts of feeling relatively good. I do see a p. doc (about every 3 or 4 weeks now) and I’m on low doses of Epival (aka Depakote, I think) and Celexa. I also take Klonopin on an as-needed basis, and while it helps with anxiety and irritation, it can also make it very challenging to stay awake. ;-)
And now, even as I write, I’m realizing I’ve only got about 20 minutes left before I have to head out to class. Ack! Anyhow, thank you all in advance for giving me the space to vent. There are some very nice people on this board.
Sorry things seem so rough right now. I think when your meds are about right, your days will be a little more predictable, (at least thats what they are telling me - lol!) Be sure to tell your pdoc how you've been feeling. You really do have a lot on your plate right now. Maybe you need an adjustment. Try to hang in til it gets better! Love, Lori
Thanks, Lori! I do try to keep track of the moods and keep the doc updated. I think that beyond the moods though, I have a lot of "issues" (mostly having to do with low self-esteem) that could be worked on, and to that end, the doc is setting me up with a colleague of his who's more psychotherapy oriented. He'll still see me on a less frequent basis and keep dispensing the meds.
On a positive note, school is going really well (A's all over the place - yay!) and last night my husband and I went out for drinks with the classmates and had a great time. I think we all needed to kick back and get silly for a couple of hours.
