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Old 04-15-2005, 12:59 AM   #1
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No contact still from BP friend

What to do when my BP friend does not email me back or call me? It's been a bit over 3 weeks now since I last emailed her and in that email I was just giving her updates on my pregnancy and letting her know I'm there for her. I was hoping by now she would had at least sent a quickie email letting me know briefly how she's doing and/or just to say hey. It's been slightly over a month since she last made any contact and I just do not know what to do now a I haven't a clue how serious her BP disorder is, what's she doing about it etc... I cannot for he life of me remember what the company her hubby works for is called or I would had called him by now just to make sure she's okay.
I know she's been selling on ebay so I know she has to be on-line for that and to answer customer emails. I just don't know what my next move should be as my options are pretty limited. I am doing what i am supposed to and not pressuring her, asking questions etc... Just letting her know I'm here when and if she needs me and just keeping her updated on my status. I just feel really stuck here and totally in the dark since she's made no contact with me. I would like to think that once I have my baby (which is anyday now) that I'll be able to contact her an let her know and actually speak with her, but at this rate it seems that's not an option. I am letting her be and allowing her to decide when the time is right for her to contact me etc... but is that seriously all I can do here?

 
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Old 04-15-2005, 01:53 AM   #2
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Re: No contact still from BP friend

I have no idea. This is probably hurting YOU quite a bit right now. You are in a very fragile kind of state I would imagine. Can you just like leave her a message that says if you don't want to talk right now, please just e-mail or leave me a message that you are ok, because I am worried. We could always talk later.
I know that sometimes when I want words to come out they don't and I just cry. Or when I want to email someone and its just like I can't for some reason. Like I could write 10 pages in my journal, but if I had to write to someone else, I can't/don't want to.
Good luck and I hope someone around here has some advice for you. Good luck with that baby! Love, Lori

 
Old 04-15-2005, 02:00 AM   #3
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Re: No contact still from BP friend

Yeah, I have done that a few times over the past month and no reply. The very last reply I had received from her was her telling me how she's trying to handle her situation and not to worry as she's not worth worrying about and how she's such a bad friend. Just putting herself down right and left ya know? I of course told her differently in my reply back as I think none of this about her. Just so frustrating as I do not know how bad her disorder is, if she's seen a Dr. recently for this recent outbreak, if she has anyone with her taking care of her etc.. I'd feel so much better if I just knew these few things.

 
Old 04-15-2005, 03:10 AM   #4
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Re: No contact still from BP friend

I don't know what else to say. I know you are worried, but what can you do? I just want to reassure you that this behavior has been very normal for me from time to time. Like I don't answer emails from Mom or phone calls. I just don't want to deal with any more then the day to day stuff that I HAVE to deal with. I would say -stay in touch , you are an awesome friend, and just hope she has her mood change. I do eventually. Whether she has seen a dr or not, is some kind of decision that she will have to make and I hope she has made it already. Kind of hard to convince a stubborn person, KWIM? Anyhow, take care and I hope you get some kind of answers soon. Can't you buy something from her on ebay (sorry-lol) I couldn't help it. Seriously, Love and Hugs to you! Lori

 
Old 04-15-2005, 03:30 AM   #5
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Re: No contact still from BP friend

I did think of emailing her via the ask seller a question option on one of her auctions since I know she has to be on-line checking those emails and there for I know she's received mine, but I thought that may wierd her out a bit. I sent her an email this evening letting her know my estimated due date is this Sun and I'll keep her updated and to please drop me a quick email just so I know how she's doing as I have been concerned. Hopefully she will this time.

Thanks for the replies!

 
Old 04-15-2005, 05:15 AM   #6
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Re: No contact still from BP friend

Hi Veggigoddess

Hope things with you and your little bubba r going well, the very best of luck with that! No easy answers, what a predicament you are in. You've done as much as you can though, I think - she knows where you are and she knows she can get in touch if she wants to. If it's any consolation I have a friend who frequently goes 'out of contact' when things are bad - she always phones again when she's ready.
Look after yourselves

Picali xx

 
Old 04-15-2005, 01:29 PM   #7
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Re: No contact still from BP friend

I know it's just one of those situations where I am basically helpless. So frustrating! I just hope that she doesn't get so sucked in by this that she ends up never contacting me again. I've read stories about people w/ BP and it's not uncommon for that to happen if they're BP symptoms continue for a while. She has all this day to day stuff she does and I haven't a clue how she;s doing it as she's a stay at home mom and the busiest one I have ever meet which is her issues. She takes on far more then she can handle because she' too darned nice and doesn't know how to say know and then she get super overwhelmed and doesn;t feel appreciated because the people she helping out end up taking advantage of her help etc.. I think that's what brought her back into BP symptom land. She doesn't give herself any me time yet she comes across as super laid back and with it so there's really no symptoms one can detect ahead of time.

 
Old 04-16-2005, 08:56 AM   #8
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Colefort HB User
Re: No contact still from BP friend

Hey VG,

Hang in there, all of the things you have said sound like normal bp stuff to me. At least they are all things I have either read about or dealt with first hand with my gf. My gf is the best at hiding her bp at work. No matter how bad everything is, when it comes down to work and personal responsibility she gets the job done as if nothing is wrong. Personal relationships on the other hand she tends to screw up with great regularity according to her. The main thing is you make her want to talk to you or be different. Trust me, I know it is hard, I am going through my own personal hell right now with my gf, but I know all I can do is either learn more and be patient or give up and walk away. It is a very very helpless feeling, and I hope it ends for you soon

CF

 
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