I though I say a little about me. First off, I haven't gone to a doctor to get diagnosis as BP, but I have my reasons for thinking I do. My mom is bi-polar, my grandmother was bi-polar and we believe that my great grandmother had bi-polar. Recently, I had a counsler at school tell me she thought I was bi-polar. That really upset me, my mom and grandmother were crazy at time and I don't want to be like that. Besides, I thought I knew what bi-polar was and I didn't act like that.
I started reading about, turns out, I really could have it. Well, I still don't want to end up as unstabile as my family. I'm thinking about going to a doctor and getting medication and doing theapy. But my mom thinks it a bad idea, she says the medicine will just mess me up. No one in my family ever got medicine for it, they refused.
I'm scared, I'm only nineteen years old and I just don't want to spend a life like my mom, jumping from one place to another, buying things and then going hungry, stealing. I want to take charge of this, but I don't know how. My mom has already made her option known about doctors. So, I think I have to do this without her.
Sorry to ramble so much. I'm just letting off some worry I have had. I know something is seriously wrong, I have alot of other problems as well. I cut myself (altough, I'm quitting), I grind my teeth so hard that I have worn away my K-9s, I have major ulsers in my stomach at 19. I know I really need help. I just don't know what kind of help. I'd really appreached anyone advice on what I should do. Thanks.
Got Nothing to Lose,
( : Sorry for the spelling mistakes. I spell like a retarded goldfish)
Well, I don't think you need to worry about your spelling - it looked fine to me and I'm an English teacher, so I'm often quick to see it!
Secondly, you would really be doing the right thing by seeing a doctor and starting the whole medication/therapy process. If you do have bi-polar, it can take some time to get the right combination of meds for you and the sooner you start the sooner you can kick it into touch. Maybe your Mum had bad experiences with meds? They do have lots of different kinds, probably more than when your Mum was trying them out, and I can understand completly why you want to avoid the disruption in your life that you've already witnessed in others. Maybe you don't need to tell your family to begin with if it seems too hard - that's something you can tackle via therapy and do in your own time?
I think you kind of know in your heart what you ought to do, I think you'd just like some reassurance? To give you an example of my life before lithium, I'll just mention horrendous drink and drug problems, 14 house moves in 17 years and countless thousands of pounds in wasted money on all sorts of things. Two weeks on lithium and I finally found out what it's like to feel normal! It's going to take me years to rebuild my life and put together all the pieces that bi-polar wrecked - don't do the same thing to yourself. If someone had spotted what was wrong years ago my life would be very different now!
Hope something there helps. Take care
I hope I haven't made any spelling mistakes after all that!!
Thanks for the reply. I did just need some reassurance. My mom has made the idea of medicine and I guess I was still afraid a bit. I guess she has her reasons, but I think I'd rather get help. Thanks again.
Got Nothing to Lose,
( : "George Washington was first in war, first in peace -- and the first to have his birthday juggled to make a long weekend."
- Ashley Cooper)
Hi Kathryn . I know you will enjoy life here on the boards. It is very scary to think you will need meds to carry on with your life. Go talk to someone. At least get some information and see what they can offer you. I am sorry your mom is so anti-med or whatever. I just think that there are a lot of things out there today that could make things a lot more bearable for you . And at nineteen you have a long way to go! Take care and let us know what goes on. Oh, and listen to a lot of the wise advice from the people here on the board. I have learned a lot. Love, Lori
I agree with Goofy, seek help and learn all you can. All of us here have had our trials with medications, and it is true that sometimes you wonder if the meds just make you worse, but with time and patience many people find the right combination of meds that work and earn their lives back. It is a horrible thing to not be in control of your mind and actions and subsequently your life. You are young, you probably haven't suffered a ton of damage yet, nip it in bud and make sure it stays that way. I'm still recovering financially from bipolar escapades and I readily recommend to anyone who has a choice to not put themselves through what I did.
Good luck and we are all here for you. Come back and keep us in the loop.