I'm hoping someone on this board can give me some insight & I thank you in advance for taking the time to read this.
I've been in a serious relationship with this guy for about 6 months. Since the day we met, I knew something "wasn't right" with him. He just seemed a little too hyped up, a little too impulsive & a little too moody. About a week into the relationship, he confided that he is bipolar (diagnosed with BD I at a young age). His father is also bipolar & his sister is schizophrenic (since a very young age -- rare). They say mental illness runs in families -- definitely the case here.
Anyhow, my bf is not the 1st person I've known who has this disease. I had 2 past relationships with bipolar men & a close friend who is bipolar. However, I have never seen a case as extreme as my bf's. I'm wondering if this truly sounds like BD to you, or something worse?
These are his behavioral/personality traits:
1. Ever since we hooked up he has put me on a pedestal, even going so far as saying I'm "like God" to him. When I try & rationalize with him he gets mad.
2. He is extremely jealous & has threatened men who've merely looked at me or said "hi." A month ago he put a guy in the hospital for referring to me as "baby." Very violent temper & very quick to snap. Yet sees nothing wrong with his behavior & rationalizes everything he does.
3. Unable to empathize. Lengthy criminal record. Doesn't seem to learn from past mistakes.
4. Mood swings!!! He cried for a week straight, accusing me of wanting to break up with him. (I did absolutely nothing to make him think this). He threatened to kill himself if I left him. Then, ironically, the following week he dumped me (for no apparent reason -- completely out of the blue). He was very mean & acted like a completely different person. After being broke up for 2 wks. (and not hearing from him even once) he came crawling back, saying he only dumped me because he heard I cheated on him (which he made up on his own & convinced himself of). I ended up giving him another chance & we've been together since.
5. Very thin-skinned. Anything you say to him he takes litterally. After one particular argument he said "If I can't have you, my life is over" & made a suicide attempt (which was unsuccessful, thank God, & he ended up in the hospital).
6. Huge ego/thinks he's better than everyone most of the time. Other times he'll say things like "Why do you like me? I'm ugly."
7. Acts inapropriately in public places (like he'll grope me in a store or talk loudly about sex).
8. He's been in & out of psych wards throughout his life. Yet refuses to take meds.
I'm wondering if this behavior does in fact sound bipolar, or if it sounds a little extreme? I'm very confused, cuz like I said, I've never seen a case of BD quite this bad, if it is in fact BD.
I love this guy very much, but his behavior is putting a lot of stress on the relationship.
There's still time to get out, so I suggest you run for your life! He doesn't sound capable of having a healthy relationship, and may end up causing you to go into therapy and start taking meds. I'd also seriously question why you've been in more than one relationship with BP men. What are you getting out of these situations, and what attracts you to them?
Your boyfriend may indeed be BP I, which is the most extreme form of BP. Your past BFs may have had BP II, which is milder and can sometimes be mistaken for eccentric behavior from an otherwise normal person.
If you've seen all of this behavior in only 6 months of dating him, he's most likely rapid cycling, too. Your sensitive side may compel you to help this man, but at what cost to your own mental health? I don't even know the man, but your description sounds fairly severe. May your survival instincts kick in soon! Though he may say that he would die without you, he had these problems before and will continue to have them after you're gone. Only he can get the motor running for his own healing process.
If you are still unsure of what to do, try talking to his friends, family and past girlfriends if you can. That might change your mind.
Sorry for being so harsh, but I've been a mildly "psycho" GF in the past, and the friends of former BFs probably told them to cut me loose - with good reason and a lot of common sense in retrospect.
Take care of yourself and let us know how things progress.
i agree with zbaby, get out. Irregardless of being bipolar, he seems to have serious codepency issues. And that is very very bad in relationships. The dependent one really needs to work out those issues and overcome them before being in a serious committed relationship. Just my .02
I agree that you should get out of that relationship ASAP, but I think you also need to be concerned for his safety. Because while he does sound rather bipolar, a lot of what you described reminds me of borderline personality disorder. They are very, very jealous, moody, insecure, self-destructive, and obsessed over people leaving them. Be careful how you approach leaving him. But yes- you need to get out of there.
Good luck. Try to keep everyone safe.
Kristina
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Just doing what's quintsessential...
If he was willing to take meds it would make a world of difference. If he knows he is BP and is refusing treatment then there is nothing you can do. If my husband wasn't trying so hard to get his BP under control, I would have been gone a long time ago. And I love him very much.
Even with meds, we still have rough times. There isn't a magic pill that works for everyone, it is a trial and error thing.
I know you love him, but he needs to love himself enough to get help. Otherwise he will never treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
Try talking to him about meds, if he is unwilling to comply then it would be best for you to end the relationship.
Even if you don't take that advice, we are all here to help and be supportive.
Keep us informed of how you are doing,
Nodi
Extreme Case of BD, or Something Worse? 
Re: Extreme Case of BD, or Something Worse? 
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