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Old 06-28-2005, 09:44 AM   #1
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My Uncle actually agrees with Cruise...It's frustrating

I was out at their house for dinner Sunday night and my uncle made it known that he agrees with Tom. I was like, OMG, he is just a total complete brainwashed idiot.
I said sure, maybe some people with mild depression can benefit from nutrition and exercise......But not those people with chemical imbalances...which do exist.
He thinks it's all a choice or some crap. Like you all have a choice to not be depressed and not be manic.
To me that just says he doesn't believe my husband and he doesn't believe me. I have just recently reconciled with my Uncle, and I won't let this change anything, he is entitled to his opinion, but I really am upset.
I am upset at his ignorance. Especially from someone who judges everyone else's intelligence.
He actually liked it when Cruise was questioning Matt and saying that crap about how he knows the history of psychiatry. Whatever...who made him the all knowing all seeing scientologist anyway.
My Uncle just thinks he's cool because his nephew worked on a couple of movies with Cruise......Blah....upchucking now.
Anyway, I plan on doing much research and presenting it to my Uncle. Whether it does any good or not I don't care. I need to get it off my chest.
Vent over,
Nodi

 
Old 06-28-2005, 09:57 AM   #2
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Re: My Uncle actually agrees with Cruise...It's frustrating

Nodi,

OMG ~

He sounds like my Uncle, we can't be in a room together without getting in a fight. It dirves me crazy because he's rich, really rich ~ so everyone kisses his butt, and puts up with all of his rediculous ideas, without argument - except for me, of course. I could care less if he leaves me any money when he dies.

Anyhow, I wouldn't be able to just sit and listen to that garbage, but it is surprising how many people actually buy that stuff. My husband has a very, very large family, and many of them feel the same way, bipolar isn't real, just an excuse for bad behavior. They can't accept or forgive me for my episodes, or understand why my husband stays with me.

Oh well, like you said, everyone's entitled to their opinion. I can't wait to hear what you find out when you do yoour research.

Nice to hear from you Nodi,

~~heather~~

 
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Old 06-28-2005, 10:00 AM   #3
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Re: My Uncle actually agrees with Cruise...It's frustrating

Well how truly enlightened is anyone who has never experienced mental illness? My sister has done a ton of research to understand and support me but she admits there are aspects of the illness she just can't grasp because she hasn't experienced it. I had a similar argument with my favorite aunt who also agrees with cruise to a certain extent. But she too hasn't experienced it either, she's only witnessed my odd behavior and struggles to place blame for it somewhere and she chooses the medication because she's heard me talk about side effects. But no matter how much I try to explain it I really can't. There is a lot about this illness and the effect medication has that can't be understood unless you are in the hot seat. I have overly hyped up moments where my medication wasn't controlling my illness. I have also had similarly hyped up moments where my medication was causing the behavior. You tell that story to someone without the illness and I can see how they get confused and misinterpret everything unusual they see in you.

A lot of people will continue to be ignorant despite your or their efforts to be otherwise. Comes with the territiory I'm afraid. Please don't loose any sleep over this.

I just love the people who "have always thought we were being overmedicated", strange they've been mostly silent until now. . .
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Last edited by reesie; 06-28-2005 at 10:01 AM.

 
Old 06-28-2005, 10:09 AM   #4
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Re: My Uncle actually agrees with Cruise...It's frustrating

This is the part that just makes me crazy (oops, too late for that, huh??!!)

The best thing is when the non-believer was in their late teens/twenties back in the 70's. You can actually make them "relate".
You can tell them to imagine that they have just had chemicals injected into their veins. JUST as it reaches their brain... you say - Now - Control It!

They would have no more control over their behavior than we do with the chemicals that are running amuck in our brains.

I do agree that situational depression may be helped by counseling, or a combination of counseling and meds.
But like you guys, I'm just astounded that this Scientology "religion" doesn't differentiate between depression with a physiological base and that caused by a break-up with a boyfriend.

And is it my imagination or has Tom himself been a little outside of radar range lately?

 
Old 06-28-2005, 10:28 AM   #5
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Re: My Uncle actually agrees with Cruise...It's frustrating

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth6:11

And is it my imagination or has Tom himself been a little outside of radar range lately?

Oh yeah, he appears to be the poster child for mania.

But hey, all this publicity is causing the media to consult mental health professionals for explanations on why we disagree with Cruise. At least for once on the news we are getting definitions and descriptions of mental illness instead of mugshots of ill people who killed their children. Plus I was in a bookstore yesterday (yep I'm a bibliophile) and remarked to the manger (who happened to be ringing up my sale and whom I am on a first name basis with) that the psychology section seemed a little thin. He informed me there had been something of a run on psych books this weekend. So that's has to mean some people are interested in finding the data to make their own opinions. Of course I imagine there is a run on scientology lit too.
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Old 06-28-2005, 03:57 PM   #6
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Re: My Uncle actually agrees with Cruise...It's frustrating

About you uncle. Sounds like a real challenge has been presented to you! Believe me I know the feeling when you want to up and wack someone! I found a way to handle those emotion-charged times and I figured I'd share it here.

I was blessed by having to go though a 12-step program which focuses on letting go of what we can't control. THIS USED TO BE IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME. I recently had a very
irritating (and painful) situation, similar to the one with your uncle. Essentially it involved stark differences of opinion and no matter how hard I DRILLED my argument into the other person, nothing would budge. Since the issues were ones that I had a strong belief and commit in, there was only one thing to do and I learned that it was not MY job to insist this person see things my way and I detached with love. Although this person and I do speak because I felt continuing the relationship would be disrespectful to me, I am polite and onboard when we come in contact. My anger has been removed and I am not in the Directors Chair and realized that I had been very arrogant in demanding that my side BE THE SIDE that is accepted. Bottom line is, I'm 100% free of the anger and my life is so much more peaceful because the chaos has stopped!

Does any of this make any sense??? Good luck to you!

 
Old 06-28-2005, 03:58 PM   #7
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Smile Re: My Uncle actually agrees with Cruise...It's frustrating

About your uncle. Sounds like a real challenge has been presented to you! Believe me I know the feeling when you want to up and wack someone! I found a way to handle those emotion-charged times and I figured I'd share it here.

I was blessed by having to go though a 12-step program which focuses on letting go of what we can't control. THIS USED TO BE IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME. I recently had a very
irritating (and painful) situation, similar to the one with your uncle. Essentially it involved stark differences of opinion and no matter how hard I DRILLED my argument into the other person, nothing would budge. Since the issues were ones that I had a strong belief and commitment in, there was only one thing to do and I learned that it was not MY job to insist this person see things my way and I detached with love. Although this person and I do not speak because I felt continuing the relationship would be disrespectful to me, I am polite and onboard when we come in contact. My anger has been removed and I am not in the Directors Chair and realized that I had been very arrogant in demanding that my side BE THE SIDE that is accepted. Bottom line is, I'm 100% free of the anger and my life is so much more peaceful because the chaos has stopped! Most importantly, I lost the resentment that was hurting me. I would have no self-respect if I said the situation didn't matter because it does. The only thing left for me to do was to let the relationship go. I did.

I can only wish Tom Cruize apply a bit of this strategy to himself. We all know psychiatry is a science but I revolted as I felt him DEMANDING acceptance of controversial practices. I actually felt spooked, like a cult was involved or something. I'm sure you all know what I mean by that.

Does any of this make any sense??? Good luck to you!

Last edited by singsong; 06-28-2005 at 04:08 PM. Reason: addition and spell

 
Old 06-28-2005, 05:27 PM   #8
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Re: My Uncle actually agrees with Cruise...It's frustrating

Hey Singsong,

What you said makes perfect sense.

I wish I could just smile and ignore someone like that, maybe I need a twelve step program myslef, I have just always been able to kick my bad habits without one.

The funny thing about me is that I am the opposite of just about everyone in my family, I have always been the liberal hippie in a family of right wing conservatives. So I pretty much disagree with a lot of the things they say. I can remember arguing with my Dad about politics when I was around 9 years old. (The really funny thing is I'm married to a Republican!!)

I moved 2,000 miles away from all of my family ~ besides the weather and the bugs, I like it. Keeping in touch with extended family via e-mails, and christmas cards and the occasional polite phone call is wonderful, I highly reccommend it!!!!

And you're right also about sometimes just having to agree to disagree. Some people are so stubborn that you are truly wasting your breath to try and reason or discuss anything with them. ( This also happens to be one of my triggers )

Hmmmm...maybe that's why I'm doing so much better now!!

~~heather~~

 
Old 06-29-2005, 04:28 AM   #9
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Re: My Uncle actually agrees with Cruise...It's frustrating

My sister has no problem believing in depression or even BP, but she absoultley does not believe in children or adults with ADHD. She once told me that children don't really have adhd, they just need better parentling! We fought over it for a long time, and I have just decided to silently disagree for peace in the family.
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Old 06-29-2005, 06:19 AM   #10
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Re: My Uncle actually agrees with Cruise...It's frustrating

Polarized113,

What you said is interesting. It breaks my heart that I had to terminate the relationship I was referring to, pls know I did not infer you should do the same. For me it was very unhealthy and I kept manipulating myself to be "able" to stay involved in it. Finally, I realized that I was important too and I dumped it. I believe this was the best solution.

Be well!

 
Old 06-29-2005, 07:41 AM   #11
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Re: My Uncle actually agrees with Cruise...It's frustrating

Does your uncle know about your bipolar? I have relatives with similar views, and while I would like the support that I would get from telling them about my struggle (well, let's be honest--probably that I wouldn't get, but would *like* to), their views on mental illness will probably keep me from ever sharing this part of my life with them.

It really drives me mad when people who've never experienced even a hint of depression try to tell you that you can just snap out of it. As if you wouldn't do that if you could!

And this will shock you....this weekend, I was talking to a man who used to be a clinical psychologist. I asked him why he didn't practice any more, and his response was that he just got tired of seeing people who, in his opinion, weren't really sick at all, but just "drama queens" and "mama's boys." I had to exercise incredible restraint not to smack him.

 
Old 06-29-2005, 07:54 AM   #12
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Re: My Uncle actually agrees with Cruise...It's frustrating

Oh Wow Catie,

That is interesting. Unfortunately, nothing really surprises me anymore. It's kind of like some of the firefighters/paramedics I have known that were supposed to be heros, unselfish caring human biengs ~ and instead had become so burned out on a job where they see the all of people that abuse the system in order to take advantage, some people who aren't really sick, and it makes you cynical....and it changes who you are, and how you percieve the word, it's sad.

I learned about that when I had an on the job injury in my early 20's, and the way I was treated by the insurance company was horrible. I just couldn't understand it ~ until a few years later when I worked in a rehab clinic, and I saw the kind of people that made them that way, complete fakers, totally working the system to get a free ride. It's human nature that you can only see so much of that kind of thing before you lose trust in everyone.

I'm trying to learn tolerance for all, if I want people to open their minds and try and imagine walking in my shoes, I have to be able to do the same for them. Know what I mean?

~~heather~~

Last edited by polarized13; 06-29-2005 at 01:23 PM.

 
Old 06-29-2005, 08:49 AM   #13
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Re: My Uncle actually agrees with Cruise...It's frustrating

Quote:
Originally Posted by polarized13
Oh Wow Catie,

That is interesting. Unfortunately, nothing really surprises me anymore. It's kind of like some of the firefighters I have known that were supposed to be heros, unselfish caring human biengs ~ and instead had become so burned out on a job where they see the all of people that abuse the system in order to take advantage, some people who aren't really sick, and it makes you cynical....and it changes who you are, and how you percieve the word, it's sad.

I learned about that when I had an on the job injury in my early 20's, and the way I was treated by the insurance company was horrible. I just couldn't understand it ~ until a few years later when I worked in a rehab clinic, and I saw the kind of people that made them that way, complete fakers, totally working the system to get a free ride. It's human nature that you can only see so much of that kind of thing before you lose trust in everyone.

I'm trying to learn tolerance for all, if I want people to open their minds and try and imagine walking in my shoes, I have to be able to do the same for them. Know what I mean?

~~heather~~
I agree heather. That is a great way to look at it. I mean, its sad that the world is that way, but you have a good outlook and perspective on it. I hope that someday people will have more tolerance and insight on stuff like this. And, I hope that someday we can get to a point where I won't feel guilty for using a sick day b/c of my depression. Which, I haven't done yet, but often want to. Just b/c I can't get anything done b/c I'm so darn distracted. We'll see.

Oh, and PS. I think ole Tom fell off his rocker a while back. His latest interviews have definitely confirmed that in my mind.
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Old 06-29-2005, 03:05 PM   #14
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Re: My Uncle actually agrees with Cruise...It's frustrating

Does your uncle agree w/ Cruise about psychiatry only, or about the whole scientology thing? He should read up on scientology and their version of the "history of psychiatry".

I have mixed feelings about AD's myself. Yes, they've helped me, but I can't help thinking there's a better way out there, something more natural and healthy. It's a person's choice, though. I HATE the way he treated Brooke. If he really "cares about her" so much he should have given her a phone call and talked to her about it. Instead he tried to make her a scapegoat and ended up making himself look like a raving lunatic.

Has anyone read anything on scientology? I looked it up the other day and boyyyyeeeeee, it's one scary deal. Pretty terrifying, in fact.

 
Old 06-30-2005, 04:17 AM   #15
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Re: My Uncle actually agrees with Cruise...It's frustrating

Quote:
Originally Posted by Catie
Does your uncle know about your bipolar? I have relatives with similar views, and while I would like the support that I would get from telling them about my struggle (well, let's be honest--probably that I wouldn't get, but would *like* to), their views on mental illness will probably keep me from ever sharing this part of my life with them.

It really drives me mad when people who've never experienced even a hint of depression try to tell you that you can just snap out of it. As if you wouldn't do that if you could!

And this will shock you....this weekend, I was talking to a man who used to be a clinical psychologist. I asked him why he didn't practice any more, and his response was that he just got tired of seeing people who, in his opinion, weren't really sick at all, but just "drama queens" and "mama's boys." I had to exercise incredible restraint not to smack him.
My neighbors, who are really great people by the way, I had to educate them about BP. The hubby has a sister with BP and they don't understand the way she is at all. So, I ended up telling them that I am, and they were shocked. They said you are so happy though!
I told them there are a lot of different types of BP, and I think now they have a better understanding. They were just really uninformed, and I think it is that way with a lot of people. And a lot of people just don't want to know, which is sad when they keep the same opinion and refuse to learn about it.
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