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Old 06-29-2005, 10:05 AM   #1
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MikeysWifey0316 HB User
Testing???

Ok, I知 confused. I think I知 bipolar. I have had one doc say he thinks I知 bipolar. But, other docs and psychiatrists have said it was only depression. Well, I went to a counselor yesterday and she said she didn稚 think I was bipolar. She was basing this off of some of those quizzes they have you that are supposed to rate your depression or whatever. Ok, the quiz said to base your answers off the last 2 weeks. So I did. The counselor said she thought I was going through moderate to extreme depression with anxiety. Ok, fine. She gave me some advice for vitamins and said to talk to my pdoc about meds & therapy. Well, I was looking on HealthBoards information. I took the bipolar assessment quiz. It said to answer the questions based on if you have EVER experienced these feelings/symptoms. Well, the results of it were that I was probably Bipolar I !?!?!?!?! I know this is not an exact science. I知 just frustrated. Just because I didn稚 test as having much in the way of mania in the last couple of weeks doesn稚 mean I知 not bipolar right? Am I seeing this totally wrong? See, like right now, I feel pretty okay. I知 frustrated of course, but I知 not on the verge of tears like yesterday. Although, I am very distracted, which I never thought could be a symptom of something bigger until recently. I guess I just want some feedback from all of my BP friends out there.
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Old 06-29-2005, 10:39 AM   #2
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Re: Testing???

I really dislike those quizzes because a) the questions are obviousif you know what they are looking for and can be defrauded easily b) they only give those quizzes when you are sick and not in a good mental place to spell your name coreectly less known take a behaviorial quiz c) the quizzes often test you based on your emotions for today not your lifetime, if you have a bipolar your mood fluctuates so testing you once will only yield half the story. I would seek out someone who evaluates you based on all the enotions you have ever had and collect multiple evals then see what the majority says. It's just a suggestion though. My diagnosis was quick and based on a quiz that asked about all my emotions over time. Plus my counselor agreed and he had been treating me for 2 months so he knew my personality fairly well and had witnessed my mood swings (oddly enough I went to therapy initially for stress management, 2 months in he was pushing for a pdoc consultation cause he knew stress wasn't the root of my problems. I got really lucky.)
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Old 06-29-2005, 11:33 AM   #3
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MikeysWifey0316 HB User
Re: Testing???

Yeah, I agree Reesie. Even if it is only depression or anxiety, all of them have changes in mood, etc. Just because I feel okay one second doesn't mean nothing is wrong. I think I'm just frustrated in general and fed up. AND, the girl that sits next to me is fighting with her boyfriend on the phone ALL THE TIME! This really doesn't make me feel any calmer.
Here is what I'm struggling with at the moment. My hubby and I have some plans this weekend. Saturday we are supposed to go out with 2 other couples to watch some racing in a neighboring town. I don't really want to go. I don't know why, I can't explain it, I just feel like staying home. It's not because I don't like racing, I really like it. But, I don't feel like I can bail just because "I don't feel like going". Is that dumb? Is this the BP/depression talking? One of the people going is one of my closest friends since we were 2 years old, so I hate to back out. BUT, she backs out of stuff on me all the time. And I told her last weekend I was debating going and she said "If you don't go, I don't want to go"... Oh, I don't know. I just can't make decisions for anything. My husband teases that he is going to get me some dice that have decisions on them for me to roll when I can't make my mind up. You know, if I had a sore throat or a headache, people would understand why I didn't want to go. My hubby is understanding if I don't feel like it. He doesn't want me to retreat from everything socially, but he understands. He doesn't want to go without me, but I think he probably would. And, I don't want to tell these friends that I don't want to go because of depression or BP, because I dont think they would understand. I'm yet to meet anyone who does.
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A positive attitude won稚 solve your probs, but it will annoy enough people to be worth the effort.

 
Old 06-29-2005, 11:36 AM   #4
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MikeysWifey0316 HB User
Re: Testing???

Oh, I forgot one thing. I called my pdoc's nurse. I told her that I went to a counselor yesterday and it seems I'm having a pretty bad bout of depression and/or bipolar. I asked if the doc recommends any specific psychiatrists or not. She was so nice this time and said she would ask for me and call back. Maybe last time I just caught her on a bad day.
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A positive attitude won稚 solve your probs, but it will annoy enough people to be worth the effort.

 
Old 06-29-2005, 12:31 PM   #5
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Re: Testing???

Depression causes us to pull back from others and wallow (or sleep) in our shells. Sometimes you just feel like crap and nothing will change that until the mood passes. But sometimes social activity can help pull you up from a depression or at least make able to function again. I don't if you personality is like that. Mine is sometimes. I have found that dragging myself out to be with people I like or even going to the bookstore and people watching or talking with random people about current events or something helps me spring up from depression enough to remember to brush my teeth the next day. But sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes I just even more annoyed at the "happy" people and get panic attacks until I can go home take a pill and know myself out. It's a trial and error process until you learn yourself and your moods enough to know what your boundaries are when they can be (or should be) pressed.

And keep in mind that will you truly do feel crappy and need to be alone to recharge you can always tell people you have a headache versus "I'm depressed".

I'm glad you're going to get a psych referral. They should be skilled enough to give you better answers about what you've been experiencing that what you've gotten so far.
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In haven't failed! I've accomplished much. I just found a lot ways that don't work . . . yet.

 
Old 06-29-2005, 06:18 PM   #6
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goofyafter2 HB User
Re: Testing???

I know on one of my first visits I lied on the whole test because I didn't want any meds and I didn't know the dr. Now with the pdoc I have now, he gave me a different kind of thing with a different approach. Like asking me questions out loud and not like the questions online (the kind the other one gave me). I really like him and I think thats part of it. I hope you can find a good one. I truly believe they are out there. Good luck. Oh, and don't worry about the exact diagnosis, as long as you can get something that works, that's probably good enough.

 
Old 06-29-2005, 08:46 PM   #7
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MikeysWifey0316 HB User
Re: Testing???

Thanks for all of your encouragement. My pdoc gave me a referral to a psychiatrist... the first available appt he had was Sept 20th. So, I don't know what I'm going to do. I hate being pushy and trying to rush, but I still feel like some one should be able to help me. I'm already on medication, its obviously not helping. Oh I don't know. I hate feeling pessimistic. It is so not my personality. I don't like feeling this way. I've been so blue. All I want to do is sleep. Good news is that I did end up with a few hours of clarity today so I was able to get some work done. Sometimes I still wonder if anything is really wrong. Maybe I am just throwing a pity party. I hate this feeling. Sorry I'm rambling and ranting. I just don't know what to do. When I got home from work all I wanted to do was sleep. So, I managed to get a not so well rounded dinner in me (a few pieces of bread and an instant breakfast) then fell asleep for a few hours. Then when I woke up, I got a burst of energy. I just finished watering my flowers (at 10:30 pm) and now I'm waiting to go to bed. I'm hoping to go at 11:00. I also got the laundry folded and hung. Which, is an acomplishment. Its all the laundry I've done in the last month. So , I guess all this craziness has its benefits. I guess that counselor yesterday made me feel bad about wanting to find a new doc. She kind of made it seem like what I was looking for didn't exsist. Is it so much to ask to want a doc that will actually believe me and take some time and energy in figuring out my ailments and helping me get through it all? Why is that so hard to believe? I'm just feeling very hopeless. My sweet Mikey was acting odd tonight too. He said work has just been kind of yucky and it made him feel kind of "blah". I of all people should be able to understand that, I think I'm the one that came up with calling it "blah" in our relationship. Basically its the word we use when we just feel kind of bored and a little bummed, but nothing in particular causing it. But I can't shake the feeling that his mood is my fault. I wish I could be the wife he deserves. He says there is nothing wrong, and that its not me, but I still feel like it is. He's so patient and caring and wonderful. Oh my, now I'm really going off on a tangent. I'm sorry. I understand if no one is reading this. But, the typing is helping I hope. Gotta get all this crap out. Hope everyone is doing okay out there. My heart goes out to anyone who is dealing with this right now. God bless the person that came up with the internet. It has definitely been a big help.
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A positive attitude won稚 solve your probs, but it will annoy enough people to be worth the effort.

 
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