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Old 07-01-2005, 11:15 PM   #1
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spriggy HB User
do you have anxiety/racing thoughts with bp?

I haven't really had the horrible low depressions (except when on anti depressents- they wigged me out!), but I do seem to either be very happy (euphoric) or I am super agitated/anxious with racey thoughts and mind.

Is it possible that my low is the anxiety/agitation and not the deep, dark depression?

I am just curious. I don't fit the profile of the typical manic depressive but yet I got a diagnosis of BP. I have a father with BP and his mother was also BP (she ended her life due to her illness) so it's very discouraging for me to have this diagnosis. It's ruined two former generations in my family.

My father has suffered with his mental health and it has led to a life long addiction to drugs and also very poor, erratic, irresponsible behavior.

I just hate to know my future looks like their's. It almost makes me feel hopeless and think, " what's the point?'

Anyway, just curious about the anxiety thing- sorry to ramble!

 
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Old 07-02-2005, 03:37 AM   #2
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Re: do you have anxiety/racing thoughts with bp?

Hi Spriggy

So sorry to hear about your family background; I can understand completely your fears that you will head the same way and can identify with that.

I'm not completely sure about whether your lows are the agitation - I think a lot of people tend to be more one than the other - ie more depressive or more manic rather than evenly spaced. I most certainly experience the racing thoughts, to the extent sometimes that it feels like my head will explode and I can't keep up with them, often with horrible bouts of anxiety. Did they put you on anti-d's for the anxiety? Just wondered as you said depression wasn't a problem? Have heard that some anti-d's can exaggerate depressive symptoms in some people, although I don't know how true this is.

Anyway, to try and give you some reassurance, medication and support now is a lot better than it would have been for your mum and dad. What I'm trying to say is that it's now more feasible to have a 'normal' life with this condition - by this I mean they can get you stable, stop the racing thoughts and the mood swings and thereby make it possible for you to hold down a job, maintain a steady income etc - I guess some of the things it was hard for your dad to do? There's a lot more information now and a lot more awareness, plus boards like this where you can come and just vent if you need to - that helps because it makes you feel less alone.

Don't give up on yourself. It can take time to find the right meds, to get used to a diagnosis and to start thinking about yourself again rather than your illness, and being defined by it, but there is a lot of hope and there are loads of people on this board who will tell you that life with BP can be enjoyed and cherished (there are hellish times of course, but somehow they make the good times seem better - I'm not saying it's easy but most people on here will tell you they've been to hell and back and made it out the other side. There is hope).

I hope something in there is helpful. Let us know how you're doing

Love Picali x

 
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Old 07-02-2005, 07:31 AM   #3
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Re: do you have anxiety/racing thoughts with bp?

What exactly are racing thoughts with bp? Examples?

Last edited by Jovial206; 07-02-2005 at 07:32 AM.

 
Old 07-02-2005, 12:48 PM   #4
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Re: do you have anxiety/racing thoughts with bp?

I went on Lexapro for anxiety and racing thoughts- after 2/3 weeks on that stuff, I got slung into the deepest, darkest depression in my life and became suicidal for the first time ever in all my life.

After 6 weeks on that medication, my dr. recognized I was getting worse and took me off of it- it took me 2 months to feel somewhat "normal" again.

About the racing thoughts- it's hard for me to explain other than simply saying my thoughts just race. I feel like my brain is on high alert and my thoughts just won't slow down. It's almost as if I'm on a very fastly moving merry go round and I can't stop it.

And there's always that underlying anxiety.... ALWAYS, sometimes it's less and sometimes it's more but it's always there.

Thanks for the input.

 
Old 07-02-2005, 06:27 PM   #5
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Re: do you have anxiety/racing thoughts with bp?

Quote:
About the racing thoughts- it's hard for me to explain other than simply saying my thoughts just race. I feel like my brain is on high alert and my thoughts just won't slow down. It's almost as if I'm on a very fastly moving merry go round and I can't stop it.
Is it during this time that poor decisions are made and rage begins? Are the thoughts those that bring fear and cause you to be unreasonable?

Last edited by Jovial206; 07-02-2005 at 06:28 PM.

 
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