It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Bipolar Disorder Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 07-05-2005, 06:00 PM   #1
Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 87
curiouslearner HB User
Do I Sound like I have Bipolar?

I can't stop talking to myself. Inside my head, I have all these conversations. I don't know if it means that I'm lonely or stressed out or what. Sometimes I think I might have something like manic depression because of this behavior. At first I was afraid it was schizophrenia, but I don't have any of the symptoms of schizophrenia except that I talk to myself like this, and even then, I dont know if this abnormal form of self-talk is really a symptom of schizophrenia. I just feel like there is something wrong with me. When I went to the doctor he told me that he didnt think i have schizophrenia just depression. I really dont know what to do. Does anybody understand what Im talking about, or maybe experience this kind of behavior too?

 
Old 07-06-2005, 08:33 AM   #2
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
GatsbyLuvr1920's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: USA
Posts: 1,871
GatsbyLuvr1920 HB UserGatsbyLuvr1920 HB UserGatsbyLuvr1920 HB User
Re: Do I Sound like I have Bipolar?

When you have these conversations, is it just you talking and/or debating with your self, or are you talking to a voice inside of your head, other than your own? If you're hearing voices that aren't your own, this is a key sign of schizophrenia, but if it's just you, I highly doubt it. What do you have the conversations about? Does your mind tell you something like, "I'm gay," even though you know you're straight, and you spend the rest of the day arguing with your mind and trying to prove the thought wrong? If so, this is probably Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. Don't worry- when I first started having obsessions, I thought I was schizophrenic, too! I wouldn't think you have bipolar disorder because you're not having mood swings. If you had the mood swings and some hallucinations while manic, then you'd have bipolar I. Please respond so I can try to help you more! Good luck and God bless!
-GatsbyLuvr1920-
__________________
"Not everything that steps out of line, and thus 'abnormal,' must necessarily be 'inferior.'"
-Hans Asperger

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 07-06-2005, 09:30 AM   #3
Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 87
curiouslearner HB User
Re: Do I Sound like I have Bipolar?

I don't hear voices in my head. I tend to think of myself as "doing the other voices". It is not a planned out thing though. It happens out of uncontrollable habit. My conversations are like normal conversations that I would have with people, only they're in my head and not real. I use to think of it as a real intense day dream but I dont know what to think any more. I was actually wondering if I did not just have a lot of obsessions and that this strange way of talking was my compulsion? Sometimes I have these "conversations" over and over again and I know that i use to repeat things after I heard them when I was a kid. I don't want OCD, but I would much rather have it than schizophrenia since schizophrenia means you're basically lost. Thanks for the help and the friendly attitude.

Last edited by curiouslearner; 07-06-2005 at 09:32 AM.

 
Old 07-06-2005, 10:22 AM   #4
Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 470
Picali HB User
Re: Do I Sound like I have Bipolar?

Hiya

Personal question (and don't feel obliged to give details) but did you ever suffer any traumas during childhood - abuse, neglect, death of a parent etc? I've been reading about Dissociative Disorders (think it could apply to me) and basically trauma in childhood can cause aspects of the personality to separate in order to cope. This, in turn, can lead to voices in the head, imaginary conversations (as well as a lot of other things, of course!). I came across it by accident - I talk to myself constantly, have full blown arguements with myself, always feel like something is 'watching' me and needing to know what is going on. Have a look at a few sites and see if it rings any bells - it certainly did with me. General opinion is that therapy is the best way forward to bring the traumatised 'selves' back together again - I feel that is happening with me at the moment and I am seeing real results. Might not apply to you of course, but thought I would mention it just in case it rang a bell

All the best

Picali xx

 
Old 07-06-2005, 11:16 AM   #5
Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 87
curiouslearner HB User
Re: Do I Sound like I have Bipolar?

I saw that movie with Sally Field, where she had multiple personalities and I cannot say that I am anything like her. I am the only personality that I know of. All I know is that I'm constantly arguing with myself or sometimes just talking peacefully in these scenarios. MY brother once caught me and said, "Why are you acting stuff out?" I guess that's how other people would see it.

Last edited by curiouslearner; 07-06-2005 at 11:17 AM.

 
Old 07-06-2005, 12:40 PM   #6
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
GatsbyLuvr1920's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: USA
Posts: 1,871
GatsbyLuvr1920 HB UserGatsbyLuvr1920 HB UserGatsbyLuvr1920 HB User
Re: Do I Sound like I have Bipolar?

I do that, too. I just talk to myself out loud about things I like. It's as if I were talking to an imaginary person, but I'm not- it's just me. I've done this ever since I could remember. I used to have imaginary friends as a kid, but now, I just seem to act out scenes between the cartoon characters I created. The difference is that I know they're not real, and it's just me portraying their personalities, almost like acting. I also will just act out scenes from movie scenes when I'm bored. I have an uncanny ability to repeat things with the same type of voice, so this is how I practice my different voices and accents. It might be strange, but it can always keep you busy when you're standing in a long line at an amusement park! LOL! It sounds as if you do the same thing I do- my head always has something going on, whether it be obsessions, counting, bits of song stuck in my head, worries, planning, or scenarios I make up. It's incessant! Tell me if you can relate because I've actually never heard of anyone who didn't have schizophrenia or DID doing this, and knowing that you're not talking to someone that "exists" inside your mind!
-GatsbyLuvr1920-
P.S. What you said about using talking as a compulsion- I think that's what I do it for. If I have something that nobody else can understand, I just talk through it to myself, so I can figure out the problem.
__________________
"Not everything that steps out of line, and thus 'abnormal,' must necessarily be 'inferior.'"
-Hans Asperger

Last edited by GatsbyLuvr1920; 07-06-2005 at 12:42 PM.

 
Old 07-06-2005, 01:25 PM   #7
Veteran
(male)
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 319
JustDave4now HB User
Re: Do I Sound like I have Bipolar?

You know, This sounds promising. If you know that the person isn't real, you know your doing the other voice, but you still talk to yourself in you head despite this... I would plug you as normal. ..

Almost everyone talks in their head, the more intellegent and creative you are, the more you do it. Us BP people do it all the time because our minds go a million miles and hour.

Its called and inner voice, or so im told. Sometimes we use it to resolve conflict, I couldn't tell you how many times I have had a heated discusion in my head with my boss, me playing both parts.

This is differnt from a daydream, usually a day dream is visual and vocal as the inner voice is usually just vocal. Though not always. I can remember times looking at my art in my head I have said "that just isn't right, it needs something" then like another voice comes in and says "shut up, if you alter it you will ruin it" I know they are both me, its my mind playing itself against umm itself. Then I realize the second voice is right and I put away the brush.

See, welcome to our world of inner selves, take a seat, I will get you some popcorm

Last edited by JustDave4now; 07-06-2005 at 01:26 PM.

 
Old 07-06-2005, 01:36 PM   #8
Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 87
curiouslearner HB User
Re: Do I Sound like I have Bipolar?

Hi Gatsby,

When I tried to tell my counselor about this, he said it was actually normal. This was a few years back. That didn't put ease into my mind though because I figured that if it was normal I would see other people doing it, and I never saw any one do it the way that I did. (I originally did this out loud and then forced myself to only do it inside my head when I noticed that it upset people around me. They didn't understand). My second counselor, the one that I started seeing recently, told me that she thinks I just have "too much time on my hands." So far, I can't get anybody to say there is something wrong with it. I was starting to think that maybe it is a form of mania Like, when your mind just gets all crazy, but I dont really know what mania is so it wouldnt have been right for me to label it myself.
The biggest reason this concerns me is because I can't seem to CONTROL it. I find myself doing the talking (my voice and their voices) randomly and it just takes a toll on my self esteem thinking that I'm some weirdo. It started with imaginary friends for me when I was about 13 years old. Not imaginary friends that I actually saw or heard, just people that I visualized intuitively. I think it was just a way for me to cope with loneliness and depression. Does that sound like what you do? If it does, then maybe we have the same thing. Tell me more about your imaginary friends so I can see if we're on the same page.

Take care,

 
Old 07-06-2005, 08:47 PM   #9
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
GatsbyLuvr1920's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: USA
Posts: 1,871
GatsbyLuvr1920 HB UserGatsbyLuvr1920 HB UserGatsbyLuvr1920 HB User
Re: Do I Sound like I have Bipolar?

OMG! Yes! That's JUST like me! I can't control it either! All of a sudden, it will just begin. I always was a very imaginative child. When I played with Barbie dolls, it was much more advanced than Ken and Barbie going out on dates. Obviously, I would talk as the dolls back and forth, and created different personalities for them. My mom knew about it, but I think she still knows I do it; she used to come in and I would suddenly get quiet, and she'd just say, "Oh, you were just talking to yourself." I also had an imaginary twin named Melody for about four years. I was always kind of a loner, and I absolutely abhorred recess, so I would just go off by myself and play in my mind. It wasn't that I didn't have any friends, but I would have much rather played with "Melody" than them. Large families have always fascinated me (probably because I'm an only child), and I also made up an imaginary family with 12 children when I was nine. I rarely use them anymore, but I can still remember their ages and personalities. Then, when I was 11, I had these three Barbies that looked similar, so I made them triplets. Shortly after, when I was 12, I threw away all of my dolls, but I kept the triplets' for when I was bored. I used to walk home from school a lot because I stayed after a lot and lived close by, and all of a sudden, I would begin making up some scenario with the triplets, Libby, Cassie, and Quinn. Like you, I didn't even realize I was doing it most of the time, and it is hard to control. I finally stopped using them when I was about 15. Now, my main characters are the cartoon characters I've created, mainly the bipolar one, Tuesday. I use a high pitched voice for her, and I like to practice it, so me talking as her to one of my other characters benefits me in two ways: I can practice using my childish voice in addition to thinking up story lines and character development. I also have a British and New York character, only created to practice my accents. Like you, I know that these characters don't exist physically (except for my cartoon characters because I've drawn them and know their appearance), but I could always just visualize them in my mind. I have NEVER admitted this to anyone other than my mother, and I have also never heard of anyone else doing this. Though I'm almost 18, I'm still doing it, and I probably will for the rest of my life. It's sooo uncanny that you do the same thing. Both of us probably didn't describe it fully in the beginning, just as "conversations in our mind," because it does seem odd and a sign of mental illness to most people. I think mine did develop out of loneliness, and possibly, out of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. I remember back in second grade, I was always afraid that the class would go in from recess and I would have missed it, so I'd constantly go and ask for the time from the monitor (I bet she hated me!). Maybe this odd quirk of mine developed to ease my many anxieties, and I know it exists now to keep my mind busy so I won't obsess. If I find myself with a lot of free time on my hands without music or TV to give my mind something to think about, I'll inevitably slip into a "conversation" so I have something to do, and I can divert the obsessions because I'm focused on speaking. I also just talk to myself sometimes, like to an invisible person; I think this is just out of habit from the imaginary twin, but when I'm alone and I want to discuss a specific actor I think is hot or something, I do this because nobody else understands. Do you do this? I'd love to hear more about this, and I never thought that I'd find somebody like me out there! Sorry this is so long, but I felt positively effusive now that I can talk to a REAL person! LOL! Good luck and God bless!
-GatsbyLuvr1920-
__________________
"Not everything that steps out of line, and thus 'abnormal,' must necessarily be 'inferior.'"
-Hans Asperger

 
Old 07-06-2005, 10:42 PM   #10
Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 87
curiouslearner HB User
Re: Do I Sound like I have Bipolar?

I remember creating a different mother and father as well as a sister when I first started talking. I think this was to give me a way to cope with my imperfect family. Of course I knew they weren't real people and when I found myself having conversations with them, that it was merely intuitive. You say that you created a twin named Melody, so I think that is similar to me, and I have to confess that it is comforting to know I'm not the only person who has a problem with this. The only thing we have to find out now is how unhealthy this behavior is, what disorders it is linked to, and if there is a "cure" for it. Do you have any insight? I have to say that after reading on these forums for the past few days, that I was painfully wrong to suspect schizophrenia. I see now that people with schizophrenia have a much deeper problem than I do. I am still looking for the answer to my own problem, however. I'm wondering if the constant self-talk is the beginning of disassociative disorder and if it can be considered a psychotic feature of depression since it is, for the most part, uncontrollable. What do you think, Gatsby? BTW, I am 21 years old.

Last edited by curiouslearner; 07-06-2005 at 10:45 PM.

 
Old 07-07-2005, 02:14 AM   #11
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Australia
Posts: 7
Niquil HB User
Re: Do I Sound like I have Bipolar?

Hi there, Curious Learner, I am DID. (Multiple Personality) and I can assure you that it is nothing like the Sally Field movie. That was the extreme end of the disorder.

I would describe the voices in my head as being very SEPERATE from me. I know that they are inside me and not a a person that is outside me (delusional). They have very specific ways of feeling and talking and writing. The first time I heard one of my insiders speak I turned the house upside down looking for the person who had spoken to me. That is how seperate they feel.

I think most people chat to themselves inside their head to some degree. But the chatting inside my head is like talking to somebody else. It feels quite different to the self chatting that normal people do.

 
Old 07-07-2005, 04:02 AM   #12
Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 87
curiouslearner HB User
Re: Do I Sound like I have Bipolar?

Hi Niquil,

Thanks for clearing it up about the Sally Field movie. I understand better now. Can you tell me what the chatting is like in your head when you don't hear voices? Is it like my chatting that I described? Thanks.

 
Old 07-07-2005, 05:23 AM   #13
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
GatsbyLuvr1920's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: USA
Posts: 1,871
GatsbyLuvr1920 HB UserGatsbyLuvr1920 HB UserGatsbyLuvr1920 HB User
Re: Do I Sound like I have Bipolar?

I was reading up on DID when you suggested it, and I don't think it's that in my case. One of the main symptoms is that there's an entirely different personality inside you that's fighting to be the dominant one. I don't have the conversations with somebody anymore- the only time I did this was when I was little and had the imaginary twin. Now, it seems that while I still do the conversations, I'm like in an acting role- I switch between characters, but I'm never in the conversation myself. I'm entirely aware of who I'm portraying, and I mimic their behaviors, much like an actor would. The fact that I'm absent from the conversations makes me wonder about the diagnosis of DID...
-GatsbyLuvr1920-
__________________
"Not everything that steps out of line, and thus 'abnormal,' must necessarily be 'inferior.'"
-Hans Asperger

 
Old 07-07-2005, 07:58 AM   #14
Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 87
curiouslearner HB User
Re: Do I Sound like I have Bipolar?

Hmm, I guess I'll just have to talk with my therapist more about the talking and see what she has to say. So far she thinks I only have mild depression and some anxiety.

 
Old 07-07-2005, 09:52 AM   #15
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
GatsbyLuvr1920's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: USA
Posts: 1,871
GatsbyLuvr1920 HB UserGatsbyLuvr1920 HB UserGatsbyLuvr1920 HB User
Re: Do I Sound like I have Bipolar?

That's a good idea- I'll ask my theapist about it the next time I go and see what he thinks, and if it could be caused from my OCD... Keep me posted! God bless!
-GatsbyLuvr1920-
__________________
"Not everything that steps out of line, and thus 'abnormal,' must necessarily be 'inferior.'"
-Hans Asperger

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Miss Bipolar's sound advice windimeria2000 Bipolar Disorder 2 05-03-2009 09:41 AM
Does this sound familiar? kindness Bipolar Disorder 3 01-29-2008 03:52 PM
Does this sound like bipolar? veryconfused22 Mental Health 4 08-31-2007 02:00 PM
Increased Sound Sensitivity During Hypomania and/or Mania? neon_dreamer Bipolar Disorder 8 08-08-2007 09:14 PM
does this sound familiar to anyone? suzannecaroline Bipolar Disorder 1 10-26-2006 11:54 PM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added




Top 10 Drugs Discussed on this Board.
(Go to DrugTalk.com for complete list)
Abilify
Depakote
Lamictal
Lexapro
Lithium
  Prozac
Seroquel
Wellbutrin
Zoloft
Zyprexa




TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



reesie (68), katlin09 (59), Administrator (24), TinoRock (14), bprapcyc (10), thatgirl141 (7), lynnlee (6), annii456 (4), ghelpmelivelife (4), goody2shuz (3)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1180), MSJayhawk (1005), Apollo123 (906), Titchou (850), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (759), ladybud (755), midwest1 (669), sammy64 (668), BlueSkies14 (607)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:01 AM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!