Wow! (long post)
I can't thank you all enough for all the honesty and expressed emotions I have found on this site. I was looking the other day for information on BD and came across this forum. Everyone seems so supportive and excited to talk to each, that is just a wonderful thing!
My story, is much like a lot of what I've read on these boards. I think my, well not sure what to call him anymore, since we kind of split, but he was my fiancee, has BD. We met in October and had a great 7 months together, we're engaged within the first couple, and everything seemed great. Although our relationship was a little unusual, we were 1000 miles apart, we seemed to handle it pretty well. During the first 7 months or so, he did have his 'down' times, but seem to bounce back from them quickly. Then things, I think, started to pile on him. He is going to be losing his job, it was getting closer to me moving to be with him, and he was worried about money.
He has had money problems in the past, and recently slid back into that again, but managed to get himself out before anything really bad happened. He has a great love of spending money, especially on things with wheels. But he gets, in his own words, obsessed with something and has to have it. But that's just the money side.
He hasn't been, what I call his usual self for about the past two months, and actually broke things off with me, saying he needed some time and patience. Ok, I can accept that. It's a big decision for me also to move 1000 miles away from the only place I've ever know, get a new job, and live with him. But I was excited and looking forward to it, because after the first week of meeting him, I knew he was the one I wanted to marry.
He's a wonderful person. We have a great connection and have from the beginning. I have never felt so comfortable and excited about being with another person in all my life. So I guess that's why, this is so hard. I have mentioned to him in the past about seeking some help, and he actually mentioned to me, before I said something to him that he thinks me might be bipolar, which I had already thought about and so had a couple of my friends. But he just doesn't want to, or won't get help. I don't think, he thinks he needs it.
I would love for him to go and see if BD is actually the diagnosis. I would love to help him through what ever he is going through. He's even told me in the past that I'm the best thing that ever happened to him. I asked him a week after we split, if that is true, why did you push me away, and he said he was ashamed for doing so.
I just never know what I'm going to get from day to day. One day he's the sweet loving guy that I met and feel in love with, the next, he's selfish and just really hard to be with.
It breaks my heart to see him like this, but it also reecks havic on me. As much as I love him and would do anything for him, I often wonder if we met and fell in love during one of his 'up' times. He questions how he feels about me now, and says that he doesn't feel the same way he used to. I wonder if I should just bow out gracefully? I feel like I've been fighting a losing battle for the past few months.
Again thank you to all who have posted on this forum, it has been a great help to me! I'm welcome to all opinions and suggestions.