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Old 07-06-2005, 11:11 AM   #1
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Derangea HB User
Angry Bipolar Blowup or Justifiable Emotion?

It has been ruff lately. My psych doc wants me to go inpatient for a few days, I'm having difficulties with my meds and have to get them changed again, I just got over a bad bacterial infection... and yesterday begain a new urinary tract infection. I've been rushing around work, trying to find time to go to the Med Express unit to get antibiotics. I was running 30 minutes late for work, and they said that they still couldn't see me for another hour even after I was waiting there for 45 minutes. Anyone that has had a UTI knows it burns like crazy, especially when's there's blood involved. Lastnite my boyfriend and I had a great evening. And today I was txting him about what was going on what I was doing about the UTI, and how I had to leave the place because I couldn't wait that long and was really upset because I didn't know what I was going to do. So then I get out of there and he calls, and I think that he's gonna ask how it went. The first thing he says is "I only get a 15 minute lunch", and then Itell him, "I dont get a lunch at all" he disregards that and start going into complaining about his day which is nothing to ***** about so I just say "Curt, I love you but I cant hear this now. I gotta go. Bye." Then I just sent him a txt message that said "Curt, I'm sorry to be so short with you. But after me txting you all that **** and the first thing you do when you call is complain... no hello, no how are things, its just automatic complaining. Like its a contest with you of who is having the worse day. I have to say I'm hurt and angry."

He hasn't called, and I know now that he's "pouting". Did I have a good reason to get angry? I didn't yell or flip out or anything. Any thoughts?
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Old 07-12-2005, 05:07 AM   #2
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Re: Bipolar Blowup or Justifiable Emotion?

My husband does the same stuff. My problem is I internalize everything and make my self feel like ****. So bravo for you for handling it so well and rationally. I think you need to discuss with him as I do mine, that when things are going negative for you the last thing you need is more negative things from him, it's not a negative ******* contest.

 
Old 07-12-2005, 06:49 AM   #3
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Re: Bipolar Blowup or Justifiable Emotion?

Thanks Geneticbipolar,

Its funny really. It took him about 2 hours but then he called and was really upset about what he did. He said, "I'm sorry, I just wasn't thinking. I was totally an insensitive jerk. I'm so sorry. I love you." That just blew me away. SO I think thats the way I'll have to handle these situations with him. WHen I'm really angry or upset, not yell or flip out but tell him how I really feel in a serious tone. ANd if its in person, look him straight in the eyes while showing a hurt yet angry emotion, but not screaming it. That way, he will realize how much it hurt, and then it makes him think. When I fly off the handle he just thinks, "Well, she's just having one of her fits again so I'm not to blame, she'll get over it." And I hate that. So I hope all goes well with you and your husband too.

Thanks Again,
-DERANGEA
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Old 07-12-2005, 12:54 PM   #4
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Re: Bipolar Blowup or Justifiable Emotion?

Thank you so much for this post! It is such good advise for me. (sorry that sounds kind of selfish! ) I have a hard time when I snap at my poor husband. He is good about pointing out what I'm doing, but then I internalize my feelings and just dwell on the "I'm so sick of being crazy" thought.... And dwelling is never good!
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Old 07-13-2005, 12:40 AM   #5
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Re: Bipolar Blowup or Justifiable Emotion?

My husband and I are at our worst point in our 15 year marriage and it really got bad when I was is the process of being diagnosed. My situation is complicated because I have epilepsy and have been treated with antiepileptic meds, but they are the same drugs to treat bp. So I have had episodes most likely,that the neuro's summed up as a reaction to the current med I was on, but bp wasn't suspected since I was on mood stabilizers already. Things just keep getting progressively worse and after seeking help for depression and anxiety, and ADD, then trying more meds, and it still ends up worse, bp went undiagnosed for over a couple years. So, I recently received a second opinion with a definate bp diagnosis. Back to my husband, as things were going downhill for me, he all of a sudden started shifting focus on himself. He suddenly is suspecting his own mental problem, that was out of his control. At times he has told me that I drive him crazy because of my problems, but now it is growing into a serious thought that he may be bp too. It is all too much to handle, when you need someone there for you and that person is now acting depressed and manic, I don't know what to think. And at times he will say I am totally overreacting, and I am unable to truly know, because if there is something wrong with him (mentally) am I suppose to trust his judgement? Is there anyone here that is bp married to another bp? Does this sound like a way for him to not have to deal with me?

 
Old 07-13-2005, 05:36 AM   #6
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Re: Bipolar Blowup or Justifiable Emotion?

Quote:
Originally Posted by MikeysWifey0316
Thank you so much for this post! It is such good advise for me. (sorry that sounds kind of selfish! ) I have a hard time when I snap at my poor husband. He is good about pointing out what I'm doing, but then I internalize my feelings and just dwell on the "I'm so sick of being crazy" thought.... And dwelling is never good!
I'm so glad this helped you. You dont know how good that makes me feel
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Old 07-13-2005, 05:47 AM   #7
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Re: Bipolar Blowup or Justifiable Emotion?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ocean1496
Back to my husband, as things were going downhill for me, he all of a sudden started shifting focus on himself. He suddenly is suspecting his own mental problem, that was out of his control. At times he has told me that I drive him crazy because of my problems, but now it is growing into a serious thought that he may be bp too. It is all too much to handle, when you need someone there for you and that person is now acting depressed and manic, I don't know what to think. And at times he will say I am totally overreacting, and I am unable to truly know, because if there is something wrong with him (mentally) am I suppose to trust his judgement? Is there anyone here that is bp married to another bp? Does this sound like a way for him to not have to deal with me?
You know what, I think that once someone that is close to you realizes that your problems aren't something you can control, they begin to look at themselves, and look at themselves, and stop blamming others but actually TAKE responsibility for their own behavior. Your husband may not have BP but him just realizing that when emotions are hard to control and hard to understand others' as well, then maybe its you as well and not just them. I just say this because my father has always been hard headed. And looking at the past and even now I know that he is a FULL BLOWN BP. But he's so hard headed he would never seek help. He was always really distant and didn't like to talk about my problems, when I was crying or having a hard time with myself he would hide and just think to himself, "Women, they're so weak." BUt it wasn't until I was hospitalized a couple times and my doctors had to speak to him personally about my condition that he realized that it was a serious problem. And this was a big step for him. I cried tears of joy one night when he came up to me and hugged me and said that he loved me. Never in my life has he done that. He has turned a corner. Then when I was having a hard time planning to move out on my own and deciding what to do with my college career he got into all his fits and his habbits of bringing me down. And that took me over the edge. I was unstable for a weak. And my mother went to him and said, "I am not going to let you ruin the rest of her life because you're having a hard time dealing with who she really is and really wants. You have no idea how much of an influence you have on her. And here she is, taking all these drugs and no matter how many drugs she takes as soon as you get into your moods you automatically bring her down. You know, I think that YOU ARE THE ONE that needs medication." ANd then you know what he said to her? "You know, maybe I do." I heard them fighting from downstairs so I know all of this. But my Dad is now way more understanding when it comes to my decisions as an independant individual and alot less angry when I make a decision. Its hard for him, but he;s trying. And no, he will never go on meds, but at least now he is doing some self-analyzing. So dont worry about your husband. I think its a good thing. And even if he does turn out to be BP, you can work through it together, as a team. My heart and thoughts go out to you
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Old 07-13-2005, 03:35 PM   #8
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Re: Bipolar Blowup or Justifiable Emotion?

thanks for responding. Its funny you mentioned your dad, because that is how my mom is, and she wont see a doctor, but many in our family know she is BP. The times I have talked to her about it, she completely disregards it, she says if you go to the doctor long enough they will eventually label you with BP. She will say hurtful things to me while I am sobbing on the phone trying to reach out to her. I am at the point now, that I don't tell her much.
And my husband, I don't know what to think. I have printed out information about BP and how family members can cope with it, and he wont even look at it. He was (and still is) so supportive with the epilepsy, it really seemed unusual to me.
His response to me when I got my final concrete diagnosis....I had mentioned that the doctor said the ADD (which both my husband and I are treated for, and 2 of my 3 kids too) and BP are common to coexist together. Without anything else said, he started asking about himself, "oh, well then if I have ADD, then I may be BP?" I was completely shocked that I couldn't even finish the story of my doctors appt, and he went on and on, how angry and out of control he is. It is insane, because alot of my triggers are sparked by him, and here I am trying to be understanding with him and really what I want to do is flip out on him. Come on now, is this the time to be selfish?

Oh yeah, I wanted to ask... What does everyone think of Seroquel? My pdoc gave me a bunch of samples and said, here start on this. When I got home I opened the package looking for the RX info, and there was nothing there. I looked it up online and it sounds extremely dangerous. And as far as weight gain, anyone ever experience this?
I know I am asking a lot of questions, but this is officially my 2nd post to a message board, ever. And believe me I spend many hours reading real life stories and experiences on mood disorders on these message boards and they have helped me tremendously.

 
Old 07-13-2005, 08:57 PM   #9
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Zbaby HB User
Re: Bipolar Blowup or Justifiable Emotion?

Ocean1496 - I asked the same question. Check Reesie's post about her new p-doc. Apparently it can make you conk out for long periods of time and remain sleepy for the rest of the day. A former p-doc recommended it to control mania and help with sleeping problems, but I resisted. Now I'm glad I did. Start a thread on Seroquel if you want info from people in the know -- makes it easier for them to find you and answer your questions. Oh, BTW, welcome to the boards! I've learned a lot from members, too. It reminds me that there are people out there who can relate.

 
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