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Old 07-18-2005, 08:30 AM   #1
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Location: Okanagan Valley British Columbia - check it out online - it is amazing!
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jephiner HB User
I am humming w/ aggitation

I am just humming - woke up humming - and can't seem to get it to stop. I am feeling incredibly frustrated w/ my life right now - and I feel trapped like a caged animal..... I have been working towards losing weight - I have been running and following a program and I have barely lost a thing (and I am 250 lbs - it should be dropping off like crazy!!). I have been working on my business and have been losing money. I am just exhausted but aggitated. I have two small children (2&3) and do daycare and I am just dreading today (it is 8:30 here) I want to be anywhere but here. I have a headache and just don't know how I am going to make it through the day. Some days I just want to be free - I don't know how one would actually be free in this society but I long to have no connections or responsibilities and just float. Or even sleep for heavens sake. Does anyone ever hover at that humming level??? What does it mean? What should I do???
Jen
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Everyone is someone else's Freak

 
Old 07-18-2005, 03:31 PM   #2
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JustDave4now HB User
Re: I am humming w/ aggitation

Hi Jephiner,
Humming, that is an odd way of putting it, but I can understand what you mean. I used to be like that all the time, where I would get just irratated at everything, and the smallest thing would get me to lash out or send me to the deep blues, like my life would never get any better.
You have my sympathies, Its tough being everything all the time. The more I learn about the BP personality, the more I realize we often bite offf more that we can chew.
For me at least, I start grand projects when I am all motavated and manic, and then when I am not, I am stuck with them because they are half done.
This is all well and good when its a half cleaned garage, but when my project is to paint the house, and its half painted, its not like I can say, nahhhh I am tired of doing that. LOL

Hang in there, I know your feeling strung right now, if you can, try and unstring yourself. I find a hot shower if I can get the time in helps, or even dimming down the lights. Do small things, and then savor them, its actually better than a big change, because big changes are stressful.
If you can't achieve this, you might want to consider you diet, a bad diet can cause anxiety as well. Its pointless to diet when your stressed.
Either or, we are here for you, its not unusual for BP people to feel anger and irratation. I was horrible to I found the right meds.

A poem to give you hope...

A prayer for the tired

If I find as I lay down to sleep,
to dread the morning light before it creeps,
I ask that I be given a differnt day
so when I wake I am sure to say,
I am so glad that day has moved away,
its rainy clouds will not sway,
My heart to be low and my smile dim
And instead find love from out and in,
but if Lord, I must brave this morning light
to teach me hope, to teach me right,
Then I ask kindly for your blessings and my
dread be gone
And I will meet this tough day with a smile,
and sunglasses on.

I hope it gave you a smile ..
Dave..

Last edited by JustDave4now; 07-18-2005 at 03:34 PM.

 
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Old 07-18-2005, 08:32 PM   #3
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Location: Okanagan Valley British Columbia - check it out online - it is amazing!
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jephiner HB User
Re: I am humming w/ aggitation

Thanks dave...I appreciate it.....
Jen
__________________
Everyone is someone else's Freak

 
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