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Old 07-25-2005, 04:46 AM   #1
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Are meds just opening a whole new can of worms?

Hello everyone, First i would like to say that i thank you for all being so polite and cool, you are all so very friendly and i accually have concern and care for all of you as you have shown to me.
I have a theory, first of all i was on meds for 7 years, all the different ones, all the pretty colors, all the combinations of what would have been the rigt cocktail, some times close but never the way i wanted it to work in a perfect way( there is no perfect cocktail in my eyes)Im not bieng judgemental or rude or thinking that im all that, but let me tell you what has worked for me(no not jesus, he helps but unfortunatly hes not the answer, it goes beyond that. Every single med i had ever went on had such side effects you know the tipical , weight gain , low sex drive, all that crap, and i spent so much time waiting for the meds to kick in and dealing with the side effects that i forgot one thing.... we need to understand bipolar and we need to deal with itas it comes naturally, all th ups and downs, weird deranged ideas, no sleeping for days, happy sad happy sad happpy happpy sad sad... the unfocused situations, the manic episodes, the depression, binges, irrational behaviors.. ocd, paranoid thoughts, losing job after job, it has been a struggle becasue i went off all my meds 4 years ago and decided to take the take me as i am bipolar girl and deal with everything that bipolar has stricken me with on a daily basis. it took 2 years to get a grip after going off all the meds becasue they fudged me up so bad tha ti didnt know if i we coming or going.(i dfinatley know that i wasnt coming, (hats a joke) and this is my point, we are all humans and we all have sexual desires from the time we are very young and that is such a good feeling, When i lost my libido from the meds i couldnt figure out what was wrong with me, then i realized, we are all humans that need sexual desire, it is a given and if that one thing is taken away(from the meds) we are in big trouble. sex is important, not just jumping into bed sex but even visual stimuli would be nice if we havnt lost that too, If nothing turns us on anymore,whats left? more meds? So what im trying to say is , try going off the meds and see what can happen, its not such a mess as you think, i was bad, im still not great but a heck of alot happier not taking any meds atall and just deal with the **** as it come and fudge everyone else that says that you need the meds, in my case it is working for me and alittle excited from day to day to see whats going to come my way, sorry this is so long i hope i make sense, im not saying my way is the right way, it is for me, i just gave myself a chance to explore and delve into this illness, and to see what would happen,so far so good, well take care you all you are great.

 
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Old 07-26-2005, 07:02 AM   #2
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Re: Are meds just opening a whole new can of worms?

I wish I couold go off mine ( husband and family would be very upset though) I only found out about being bipolar in November & only been on meds for a month , I def. don't like it. I want my life back, I want to be able to go out w/ friends go to bars and DRINK! Not that I am an alcoholic ( doc. said he doesn't think I do have a prob. w/ alcohol) thats just my thing & I think it gets me down. Any way sorry i went off right then. I envy you! ~ Kittyy

 
Old 07-26-2005, 08:02 AM   #3
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Ruth6:11 HB UserRuth6:11 HB User
Re: Are meds just opening a whole new can of worms?

I'm a type I Bipolar and for me to go off my meds would be the end of my life. I would either have committed suicide if I had enough energy to do it during a depression - or I would end up psychotic - again - unable to tell the difference between real and the chemical imbalance in my brain. In the psych ward of some state hospital by now instead of married, stable & working.

So, I'm fine with meds.


 
Old 07-26-2005, 11:46 AM   #4
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Re: Are meds just opening a whole new can of worms?

Kimber lee :


I want wish you continued success with out taking medications for Bipolar Disorder. Perhaps, when our life seems to be under control,even with all the symptoms of Bipolar,we develope a more postive additude,and we tend to understand that we can live a normal life. You said that did not happen in your past,with a lot of " happy sad - happy sad days". You seem to want to take that "risk" without meds. To know more about your (Bipolar) life. I hear you saying,that all the side effects are just something you will not deal with. Including your "normal" sexeral desires. Somewhere in my past,I too, did not "like" taking my mood stablizers. I choose to do what you are doing. Until I had experienced Bipolar "life" so much, that I about lost my life.(sucide). That was 21 years ago and Lithium is my stability,now. It too, works for me. I guess that is our answer. We choose what "works" for us,when we have Bipolar Disorder.

Kimber lee, I truly hope that your decesion with out meds "work" for you. I heard a song a very long time ago and some of the words were: "Remember the Dawn,when youth and beauty are gone". I wounder if we can really hold out,through the "ages" without the help of a mood stabilizer. The side effects do tend to subside through the "ages". I will reach my "Sunset" with my meds.
I have experienced the "Risk",and didn't enjoy the outcome.

Please, read this post for you own benifit and success. And I do wish you GOOD LUCK.

EYESTWO22

 
Old 07-27-2005, 09:19 AM   #5
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kimber lee HB User
Re: Are meds just opening a whole new can of worms?

I thank you all for nice posts and congenial ways, i hope that i mentioned that this is working for me and im not saying to everyone that they have to try what im doing. just blabbin. but thank you for your support, il keep you posted, again, thanks all, kimber lee

 
Old 07-28-2005, 02:28 PM   #6
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Re: Are meds just opening a whole new can of worms?

Hi - I also think that medication is a choice each of us has - and when we take meds we give up some things and gain some things - when we don't - same thing. There is no perfect cocktail, life etc...just real life.

I am awaiting an appointment to go on meds - I have small children and need to be able to have better control of my anger and frustration. I am making this choice because my children are my priority right now. If I didn't have kids - my decision may very well be different....I do believe there are some positives to being bipolar and depending on your financial situation, career, personal life, symptoms etc - you may prefer no meds. We all make the choice - and we all pay the piper - either way.

Choice is such a precious thing. Light and Love to you.

Jen
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Old 07-28-2005, 10:04 PM   #7
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Good Grief! HB User
Re: Are meds just opening a whole new can of worms?

Kimber Lee,

People with BiPolar are oft times VERY smart. Sometimes the very intelligence that helps us to achieve our dreams and goals is the very thing that holds us back.

Too smart for our own good. We can chew an idea, thought or theory until it fits (with some logic) whatever we want it to fit.

Meds are a MAJOR pain in the bum while your finding the right combination for your body. It is HUGELY frustrating; many times we end up feeling like lab rats. Each person has a unique combination, our docs work very hard to discover which meds, in what doses, at what time will work for us individually.

The side effects are so diverse THEY could almost be qualified as a diagnosable condition!

BUT. If you STICK with it, they will find the RIGHT combo for you. You just have to HELP them.

A CLASSIC symptom of BiPolar is 'self medicating' or refusing meds. We DELUDE ourselves into thinking we KNOW what we're talking about, cause WE have to live it EVRY DAY!

We should NEVER self medicate. We are not qualified. Regardless of intelligence, regardless of how many books we've read, I don't even care if you have a PHD in PSYCHICOLOGY! Still NOT qualified!

WHY?
Because...You may THINK you have it right but HELLO (?!) BP is a condition that manifests itself MENTALY!

CAN YOU CHECK YOUR OWN SPELLING?
NO. Of course not! We use spell checks. Same logic applies!


________________________________________ _________________________

Lastly, but probably MOST important:

Quote from Kimber Lee:
Quote:
So what im trying to say is , try going off the meds and see what can happen
Trying to influence anyone in this manner is dangerous. Life threateningly dangerous.


I do believe that YOU believe with all your heart what your preaching. I hope with all MY heart that you find the help that is RIGHT for you, WITH a professional, a professional who understands 'getting your grove on' is VERY important to you

Last edited by Good Grief!; 07-28-2005 at 10:11 PM.

 
Old 07-29-2005, 03:35 AM   #8
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kimber lee HB User
Re: Are meds just opening a whole new can of worms?

Hey guys, i honestly dont know what happened to my thread, thats not what i wrote in my words, ! what happened? can someone go in and erase and change what you write, because, thats not what i said at all, should i go to the moderator?" hmmm. ok bye i'll check it out. kimber lee

 
Old 07-29-2005, 04:13 AM   #9
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Josie's Momma HB User
Re: Are meds just opening a whole new can of worms?

Okay,

I was just recently on a trial study for serequel. Took Lithium and Serequel. Did GREAT with the Lithium, however, the Serequel was evil. I had problems breathing, major panic attacks, throat closing up (couldn't eat or breathe), weight gain (they SWORE not one of the side effects), and I turned into a walking temper. So long story short I dropped out of the study. Having no insurance or job right now (actually NOT due to BP for a change) I cannot afford my BP doc or the medicines.
I had previously read everything I could get my grubby little hands on about BP so I feel I am well educated about myself and I have a wonderful support system. I am actually doing pretty well without the meds. I can't say I mind not walking around doped up or having to worry about dosing schedules. I have had a major depression since then and a hypo manic episode. I made it through both ok.
I don't feel that coming off or not being on medicine is right for well anyone but if you are comfortable with it and you have people for help it can be done.
Honestly, after the Serequel episode it will take me a while to even want to go on meds I am familiar with. I have trouble with Tylenol at this point, yeah paranoia I know.. LOL I will at some point deal with that demon and move on but for right now I am coping. Thankfully, that is more than can be said for many "sane" people in the world.
At any rate, Kimber Lee is not completely wrong. But not everyone can or should be off medicine for any period of time.
Just my two cents.

 
Old 07-29-2005, 07:46 AM   #10
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Re: Are meds just opening a whole new can of worms?

KimberLee~ I somewhat agree with you. I still take my meds because its easier than dealing with "life", but most of the time I dont want to be on them. Im an artist at heart, and since Ive been on themNO creativity whatso ever. anyway, i want to say to the people who are saying that we are "too smart for ourselves" and "medication is the only way to deal with this" who told you this? the doctors who are making a killing on us. did you know that certain pharmaceutical companies actually give doctors commission to prescribe certain drugs???

And i know some of you are going to say that thinking this way is part of bipolar with the conspiracies etc, but this isnt just an idea of mine......its a fact. soone of these days im going to wean myself off those freaking $6 a pill meds and learn to deal with it. i think its kind of ridiculous how many people in this country are on some sort of medication because they advertise it on tv and people arelike, oh i cried last week, i must have depression. people in third world countries dont have bipolar. you dont hear about people in indonesia having bipolar. the more i learn about it the less conviced i am that this is real.

i know for me i was diagnosed after i had a disasterous break up with an abusive boyfriend. interesting huh? i dunno. ive read a TON on this. this is not an uneducated rant.

i think the meds actually made my life worse. i was convinced i needed them. i feel like crap all the time. so im starting to think that id be better off feeling like crap without them. and so what if it leads to suicide? the world is over poulated because they dont let people die. they keep them alive for as long as possible, regardless of their quality of life. im tired of doctors trying to play god.

ive been on about 15 different meds in a matter of two years. god knows what they did to my body. im pretty sure they messed up my brain more than it already was.

i have one more thing so say then im done. i work in a field where i deal with children in the state system. and you know what they do in the "group homes"??? daignose everyone with add adhd depression or bipolar and these kids are so messed up on seroquel (doseages that would permanently sedate most adults) and zyprexa, and all those good things. its sickening.im glad i finally smartened up. im just afraid of the withdrawl and the aftermath of the drugs that messed me up

 
Old 07-29-2005, 09:19 AM   #11
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Re: Are meds just opening a whole new can of worms?

Wow..this is a pretty intense thread...kind of freaks me out a bit. I will say that I don't think anyone is entirely wrong or right. I didn't feel you were trying to get me to change my stance on medication Kimberly Lee - just giving your opinion which is valid.

It is important to really acknowledge that for some people this definitly is life threatening. I have bipolar II and I have attempted suicide in my youth once and truly believe without medication I would have died. I can't imagine the struggle for people with Bipolar I.
I have been reading a book called "touched by fire" which is done by a psychiatrist who delves into the connection between bipolar and creative genius. It is stunning - there is a very strong argument for not curing (if possible in the future) bipolar because of the ability of the bipolar mind to work in amazing ways that are not available to people who don't have bipolar. At the same time - the statistics on suicide are staggering...huge....and very very scary. Bottom Line is that there have been millions of people who have had this - intelligent - resourcesful and wonderfully stong people with all the resources in the world - who have not been able to have a life that they could deal with. Medication is so very very beneficial in some ways and really do save lives. 80% of people who commit suicide have bipolar or unipolar depression. It is not an easy life with bipolar - and I believe we all have the right to chose which way we want to live it - with or without medication - and that there are very very very strong arguments for both options. I don't believe though that anyone should be made to feel poorly about taking medication. This disease is exhausting, is alienating and is not condusive to many many things that we as women and men and this society place high value on (work ethic, raising children, financial success, lifelong partnerships) We each carry this disease - and it is a burden - surely we can respect each other for the way we chose to live. There is a beauty and a strength in each of our choices.
I agree that the drug companies are a special kind of monster - psychopathic in nature really - and function very questionably. That doesn't mean that the medication is evil...it just means that finding the proper medication and controling the corporations instead of them controling us is a big undertaking. I also believe that we are not as responsible with children as we need to be - medication for children should be the very very very last resort. Hearing your discription of where you work corporatebs sent shivers down my spine.
I personally don't believe for a minute people in India, or Africa or anywhere else for that matter, don't have bipolar. I know in my heart there is something fundimentally wrong with me. I am a smart girl with a good family and I have had more therapy then anyone else I know combined. There is something that makes me unable to get out of bed some mornings, makes me unable to stop talking and thinking some days and makes me so aggitated I can barely keep myself in check for the majority of days. The nature of my intellect is different then the emotional reactions I have to things - there is a disconnect - and I can't deny that anymore. It is a disease - and why wouldn't anywhere else have the disease. I guess it is a question of whether you believe it is a choice or a disease...and know my heart and I wouldn't chose this.

I will say that when I am on medication and do feel healthy it is much more more difficult to remember why I went on medication on the first place. I have been off medication for a couple of months and have been waiting for an apt with a psychiatrist ( 5 days and counting) I often feel like I could do this without medication - but then I get honest about what I am really going through (which feels incredibly difficult- to admit what I am really feeling to myself) and I know that at this point in my life - for my sake and the sake of my children - medication is the way for me to go right now.
After all this I guess I just need to say that I found this thread somewhat disturbing , it was so angry in some places, and aren't we all here for the same reason? To take care of each other and help each other? I know that it is hard to keep it together at the best of times - and I respect that we are each at a different place. I guess I would just hope that this would be a safe place to say what are experience is and that we would agree to disagree in respect and in love. I think we all want the same thing - a full satisfying life - whatever that means to us as individuals.
Jen
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Old 07-29-2005, 01:25 PM   #12
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Good Grief! HB User
Re: Are meds just opening a whole new can of worms?

Color Coded Reply:

Quote:
i want to say to the people who are saying that we are "too smart for ourselves" and "medication is the only way to deal with this" who told you this? the doctors who are making a killing on us. did you know that certain pharmaceutical companies actually give doctors commission to prescribe certain drugs???

Hiya Corporate! That would be me! Many times we ARE too smart for our own good. That is a phrase thatís been around for centuries. Heck I bet whoever coined the phrase was talking about a BP!

I didn't say the medication is the ONLY way to deal with this. It is a TOOL. And I'll tell you what, building something as important as my LIFE, I want the tools that WORK. A pill does NOT change your life THAT is up to each of us to do on our own. My pill helps ME to keep my moods and simultaneously my reactions within an acceptable working range for me.

No one told me, well actually I have had lots of people who love me tell me to get help. But my views are the direct result of staying OUT of the pdocs office and OFF ALL medication for 15 years. I was full of fire back then I KNOW what I need, au-naturale, who needs the money grubbing docs, NOT me! I armed myself with KNOWLEDGE to fling in the face of ANYONE who DARED question MY decision. 15 Years of self-destructive behavior has left my life in ruins. So I've been on both sides, Iíve gone 'commando' without pills and I've accepted the help and the meds. Experience has taught me that having TRUE CONTROL in my life is a VERY GOOD thing. I also learned the the Pdoc listens to ME, not the other way around. I tell them if something is NOT acceptable. They deal with it and make adjustments or changes. I'll try it but that DOESN'T mean I'm going to put up with it if I don't like it!

Okay? Thatís business. So what? You look around your house. Everything right down to the last sliver of wood provided income to SOMEONE!

Artistic. Creative loss. A whole new dimension has been added to my art since I've started to rebuild my life. Not only a whole new dimension but I have sold MORE artwork than ever before. To me a sale is a compliment and a nice little bundle of money too!! The RIGHT MEDS and the RIGHT DOC are TOOLS. If they TAKE AWAY from your life tell the doc they are NOT acceptable and to find something else. He/she will, THATS their JOB!


When I finally did seek help it was almost too late for me. I truly destroyed every good thing that EVER came my way including my body/self. And the thing is I destroyed so many things while THINKING I KNEW what I was doing.
My purpose here is to learn to BUILD a new life, to discover new TOOLS, to learn from others who may have tried what I am attempting and can offer advice based on their experiences. In return I want to make available to others MY life EXPERIENCES in the hopes that it may HELP someone to AVOID the happy hell I existed in for 15 years.

 
Old 07-31-2005, 12:37 PM   #13
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Re: Are meds just opening a whole new can of worms?

Excellent point Josie's Mom!
(and a note to the truth of the moneygrubbing Rx'ers - Lithium is one of the cheapest meds on earth. I've always wonder why more docs don't prescribe it... and work with lessoning the side effects - I take all of mine at night and most of the tremor is gone by morning)
I have to admit that it scares me ALOT when posters come on and nudge people towards going off meds. I'm sure that some of the reactions here are based out of that fear of somene irresponsibly causing someone harm by urging them to go off meds.
Even if I think they may be a bit manic or hype I still feel I have to mention the other side of the debate -
i.e. Would you tell a diabetic to just stop their insulin and hey, their pancreas is really just fine....
Same with my brain. It ain't fine!

 
Old 07-31-2005, 02:49 PM   #14
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Good Grief! HB User
Re: Are meds just opening a whole new can of worms?

Boy Ruth, you hit the nail on the head. I truly hope that I have not offended anyone with my thoughts here. Medication saved my life. Mediacation has given me the power and strength to want to reBUILD my life.

 
Old 08-01-2005, 01:38 PM   #15
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Re: Are meds just opening a whole new can of worms?

I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY.

IN REPLY TO THE FOLLOWING POSTING, WHICH QUOTED K-L

Quote:
Originally Posted by Good Grief!

Quote from Kimber Lee:
Trying to influence anyone in this manner is dangerous. Life threateningly dangerous. [/B] [/COLOR]
I was taking 1200mgs of Lithium for SEVEN years.

I suffered with
EXTREME memory problems
EXTREME confusion
EXTREME reduction in my ability to communicate
So many personality traits that themselves had
EXTREME reactions to my personality.

I suffered with
Hypothyroidism
Lithium POISONING
Severe weight gain
EXTREME depression
Almost CONSTANT suicidal tendancies

Two MAJOR Police/Court inidents due to my reaction with the meds.

I then STOPPED MY MEDICATION

I'm NOT Bi-Polar ~ turns out, I NEVER was ~ shouldn't have taken the meds.

TAKING THE MEDS NEARLY KILLED ME.

In closing, I publicly support the ability to raise a question on this website.


Signed HEDGE .
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Last edited by Administrator; 08-01-2005 at 02:04 PM.

 
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