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Old 07-25-2005, 06:35 PM   #1
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arenner HB User
is paranoia part of Bipolar

Hi, I am new here. I am just wondering a few things. I have major depressive disorder and GAD but my drug and alchohol counsellor mentioned that he thinks I have bipolar. I was addicted to pills for a while. He said I was self medicating to try to calm myself down.

I have gone through periods where my anxiety is way out of control. For example: I thought I had aids for about 5 years, even before I had sex. I always think I have cancer or some dreaded disease, I went through a period where I thought the world was coming to end very soon, once I swear the sun was falling from the sky.

Another thing I am hypervigelent about certain things. When i was in college I had to get straight A's or I felt I had failed. I would neglect my family just study constantly, I was obsessed and I mean obsessed with genealogy to the point I would spend most hours of the day researching on the computer. Now its mahjong that I play constantly. I always have to try to beat my previous time and keep trying until I do.

The thing about my obsessions is that they eventually burn me out and thats when I get depressed. Could the obsessions be the manic phase? I also get extremely agitated. I once threw a knife at my husband and once a plate of spagetti. I feel I am soo out of control when that happens and soo guilty after I calm down. I honestly feel though that I cant control myself when I am like that.

I am taking seroquel that my doctor prescribed for when I was going off the pills. However even though I am clean for over a month I still take it because it seems to make me more level, less mood swings.

Can mood swings change so fast with BP? They sometimes change several times a day. Not so much now though because of the seroquel. The only thing about the seroquel is that I feel sort of depressed and flat. Not exactly depressed but not exactly normal. I cant describe it. I also am taking Busperone and celexa. The celexa does not seem to be doing anything although the doctor says it is I just dont notice it.



Just filed bankrupsy last week because of my poor spending habits. They are better now but only because we dont have anything to spend. The other day I felt myself pulled towards the casino and before I new it I spent 40 bucks. I left feeling really depressed because its not like we have a lot of money right now. For some reason I thought I could win lots of money but of course I did not!

Sorry for rambling, thanks in advance for any help!

 
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Old 07-26-2005, 03:57 AM   #2
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Re: is paranoia part of Bipolar

ihave lots of answers for you.i need toi ask you some questions though if you dont mind, what kind of pills were you hooked on, Speed? did you do meth? how lonng have you been sober and lastley how old are you if you dont mind answering these questions id really like to help. you seem honest and nice,write back, kimber lee

 
Old 07-26-2005, 06:11 AM   #3
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Re: is paranoia part of Bipolar

Arenner
I too get paranoid and it usually ties in to when I am going through some sort of anxiety. I can't explain it.
I can also become addicted to a subject and lose the day researching it on the net. My deal was antiques and I filled a note book with what I found. Recently it has become an on line game obsession....
I don't tend to go on spending sprees, but I have a really hard time paying my bills. Even if there is money in the bank to do so. I put it off so long that I start to get calls about it. Then I am paranoid!
Sorry that I don't have any advice, but I see so many similararities.
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Old 07-26-2005, 06:25 AM   #4
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Re: is paranoia part of Bipolar

It sounds to me like you have rapid cycling bipolar disorder and a possible case of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. It's not uncommon to have both- OCD and bipolar disorder often occur together in comorbidity. I'm not bipolar, but I do have OCD, and the stuff you said about freaking out about grades and having to research stuff on the Internet for hours and hours describes me perfectly! Oh, and the MahJong thing- guess who has to play Spider Solitaire until they win at least one game, which can take hours?! LOL!
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Last edited by GatsbyLuvr1920; 07-26-2005 at 06:27 AM.

 
Old 07-26-2005, 05:43 PM   #5
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Re: is paranoia part of Bipolar

I was addicted to alot of things about 3 years ago. I think that you obsess over these things because it replaces the drugs and when you obsess you don't think about the cravings. I know where your coming from. I've only been bipor 1 for about two years and I think the drugs changed everything about me but about the OCD thing the doc told me i had it to but i was obsessing over things that ran through my head. Does that make sense? I am not on anything for OCD cause i dont think that mine is that extreme. Just wanted to let you know that someone else has been an addict and accomplished most things i wanted to and you can to!!!!

 
Old 08-28-2005, 04:09 PM   #6
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Re: is paranoia part of Bipolar

Thanks everyone for all your imput. I have not checked messages for a while sorry. I am 34 years old. I was addicted to tylenol3 because it made me feel soo relaxed and calm and it seemed like I was more patient. No, not crystal meth. Although I think I have tried that back in my teen years but I think then it was called crystal speed. I just know that when me and my friend took it we were up 3 days straight and spent it all doing crafts! My doctor does not think I have bipolar and wrote a note to my counsellor saying that I have a personality disorder!

I wish I knew more about myself and why I am the way I am. My doctor thinks I just need to figure out what is stopping me from letting myself be happy. I dont really know what she means.

Boy, I did not know that others got addicted to solitaire and Mahjong. I used to have to play normal solitaire and had to win 3 in a row before I would stop but of course you cant win 3 in a row let alone one! I definately dont feel so alone now. Now I am playing spider solitaire and its the same for me I have to win 3 in a row and each time I lose I have to erase the statistics and start again!

 
Old 08-28-2005, 08:48 PM   #7
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Re: is paranoia part of Bipolar

Paranoia?- don't know, could be. I've had a few experiences myself. Should ask the pdoc. However, I'm afraid of asking about other things too: I don't want to create a list of more symptoms, or look like I am.
Fixated on subjects? Yeah, that's me. I get stuck on a new subject, topic, hobby, and learn everything I can, or "do"- I often pick up things that are both academic and hands on- stereo photography, black smithing (gotta know your chemistry), woodworking- boats, chairs, beds, boxes and baskets- the list could go on for 20 or so subjects including politics and religion, but I won't bore you. Most last 4 weeks to 3 months.

 
Old 08-28-2005, 08:59 PM   #8
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Re: is paranoia part of Bipolar

Quote:
Originally Posted by arenner
Hi, I am new here. I am just wondering a few things. I have major depressive disorder and GAD but my drug and alchohol counsellor mentioned that he thinks I have bipolar. I was addicted to pills for a while. He said I was self medicating to try to calm myself down.

I have gone through periods where my anxiety is way out of control. For example: I thought I had aids for about 5 years, even before I had sex. I always think I have cancer or some dreaded disease, I went through a period where I thought the world was coming to end very soon, once I swear the sun was falling from the sky.

Another thing I am hypervigelent about certain things. When i was in college I had to get straight A's or I felt I had failed. I would neglect my family just study constantly, I was obsessed and I mean obsessed with genealogy to the point I would spend most hours of the day researching on the computer. Now its mahjong that I play constantly. I always have to try to beat my previous time and keep trying until I do.

The thing about my obsessions is that they eventually burn me out and thats when I get depressed. Could the obsessions be the manic phase? I also get extremely agitated. I once threw a knife at my husband and once a plate of spagetti. I feel I am soo out of control when that happens and soo guilty after I calm down. I honestly feel though that I cant control myself when I am like that.

I am taking seroquel that my doctor prescribed for when I was going off the pills. However even though I am clean for over a month I still take it because it seems to make me more level, less mood swings.

Can mood swings change so fast with BP? They sometimes change several times a day. Not so much now though because of the seroquel. The only thing about the seroquel is that I feel sort of depressed and flat. Not exactly depressed but not exactly normal. I cant describe it. I also am taking Busperone and celexa. The celexa does not seem to be doing anything although the doctor says it is I just dont notice it.



Just filed bankrupsy last week because of my poor spending habits. They are better now but only because we dont have anything to spend. The other day I felt myself pulled towards the casino and before I new it I spent 40 bucks. I left feeling really depressed because its not like we have a lot of money right now. For some reason I thought I could win lots of money but of course I did not!

Sorry for rambling, thanks in advance for any help!
Life is what you make it, if you choose to be paranoid go for it. No you are not paranoid because you are bipolar. But you know what? You are special so take this and be glad you are special .
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Old 08-28-2005, 10:55 PM   #9
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Re: is paranoia part of Bipolar

Quote:
Originally Posted by *Mood Ring*
Life is what you make it, if you choose to be paranoid go for it. No you are not paranoid because you are bipolar. But you know what? You are special so take this and be glad you are special .

Thanks for your advice but one does not "choose" to be paranoid. If it was a choice I would not have suffered for many many years needlessly.

 
Old 09-02-2005, 08:38 PM   #10
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Re: is paranoia part of Bipolar

Paranoia is due to a brain chemical imbalance. It is caused by excessive dopamine and/or low GABA levels (which keeps dopamine in check).

Paranoia can be brought on when a drug is taken that elevates dopamine above normal levels. Such drugs are Mirapex, Selegeline Wellbutrin, Ritalin, Adderall, Dexedrine, Bromocriptine, and others which increase dopamine.

I took Abilify at a low dose, and it induced paranoia in me due to its dopamine D2/D3 agonist properties which boosted my dopamine way too much. The paranoia went away when I stopped the drug. I had the same thing happen from Zoloft and Geodon withdrawal which went away when the withdrawal period ended.

The only time I have mild paranoia is during severe bipolar depressive mixed states. Otherwise, I don't experience it.

 
Old 09-02-2005, 09:47 PM   #11
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Re: is paranoia part of Bipolar

My twin sis has extreme parinoia when she is manic, but she is also multiple and a heavy drug user (extasy, mushrooms, LSD and now meth). She did tend to come back to certain things that were in the past during her manic episodes, but I always assumed this was just the mania. She also believes that the gov is after the US citizens and that cell phone towers are used to brain wash us, which is not an uncommon belief in some extremists. She also believes that the government wants us to take the corporate medication (or bp's to take it) but that it does not work and that the illegal drugs she does, particullarly extasy, are the real drugs that will help her.

 
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