It's the newbie again, I was just reading the bipolar wife thread and i wanted to reply but what i need to know is totally opposite.
I am the bipolar wife and i don't know what to say to my husband when i have these episodes. I just kinda flip out and i dont know what im saying or what the argument was about. I have bipolar 1 and i don't know when, i call it the childish little devil, will hit. I am so paronoid, so scared and so out of mind i dont know how to make things better. I don't see my doc until monday but i am currently on lith., wellbutrin, and klonopin. Which i think they have stopped working. Every heated argument we get into both of us bring up divorce, i know i don't want one and he says he'll never give up on me. Everyday I hope and i wish that we don't get into an argument so neither one of us has to feel like we do when that word gets brought up.
I have been ok but last weekend i drank to much and acted like a fool. I dont remember what i said, what he said and i feel so guilty cause he got into trouble for me acting like a child. I promised him i wouldn't get drunk again and that will stand as long as he keeps up his end of the deal. Anyway that morning was the last time divorce was brought up but every since that morn. i have been so depressed cause i think that he's going to be walking out that door at any moment. I even told him to go out with his friends cause i knew he didn't want to be at home with me. Which he did go out while i sat here with his friends wife, with me in the down mood i wasn't who she usually saw me as. He tells me that he would rather be at home with me but in my eyes he acts so bored. I just overreact, think and worry WAY to much. I try to tell myself something differant or tell myself that i shouldn't think like that but, it just comes at me stronger.
I worry about stupid stuff but....... my eyes see what my mind thinks. Make sense?????
sheeeewwww that was really drawn out sorry..... Any words of wisdom!!!! PLEASE!!!