I have been off of mine for 2 months now due to Eps from Abilify. Since then, I have enjoyed being able to communicate better and use my brain.
But, I have also had an instance of where I was reading in a noisy room and I had this intense urge to just yell at everyone to shut up. Then, today, when giving my kitty cat water (she was around), I had this intense urge to hit her. These urges only lasted a moment, but they were intense. And bothersome.
Also, I do get excited and hyper, which is great, but then I feel a little ill. I did have depression last week.
Anyway, is this because I am not on an anti-psychotic? Sounds like it to me, but I wanted your opinion. Especially about the feeling I had to hurt my kitty cat.
I would love not to go back on one, it only made me feel dull and un-emotional. But, if I don't even out, I guess I need one. Who knows.
So what are you taking? I know that if you are on and anti-depressant only it makes mania worse. An antipsychotic does a lot of things depending on what you have. but for bipolars it is supposed to provide mood stabilization as well as calm the racing thoughts and quell the irritability or euphoria (whichever you experience in mania). but as you know there can me side effects too. for a while I was on anti psychotic alone and no anti-depressant and cycled like nobody's business. Maybe being on only one makes that happen, maybe we need the whole package?
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In haven't failed! I've accomplished much. I just found a lot ways that don't work . . . yet.
Right now I am only on lithium. I don't know anything about cycling, but I think I have an idea. I learned I was bipolar after a manic episode. I wasn't aware of any mood changes before that happened.
I think the depression is a result of going on Lamictal, which has an anti-depressant in it, and then going off of it.
Can being off an anti-psychotic make your illness worse? If you were told you had a mild case?
I find myself getting irritable more.
I also feel that when I talk, I talk a little eccentricly. I am definitely not like the average person, but I feel like I scream mental illness sometimes. It's not like I am talking religion, paranoia, just a little too happy and different, direct?
It's just that I am so happy to be talking again because I was a zombie on the anti-psychotic. I could just say ok, uh hum, etc.
I don't know. I just want the best of both worlds. I will keep trying.
maybe your doc could try another med. i know it does take time to find the right dosage and med. My mother's first pschy. actually wrote a medical paper about how difficult she was to get stablized.
once you find the right mix...hopefully you wont be "zombie-like". i understand too about the kitty impulses.. they only last a second...but just the fact that they happen bother me to no end!
hope this helped...
jen
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Life is a dance...treasure your good partners , and tolerate your bad ones.
, and tolerate your bad ones. 
