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Old 08-06-2005, 04:31 AM   #1
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Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 89
fiesty_leo HB User
Unhappy Financial (and other) consequences...

Hi all,

I'm just on here to offload really...am having a really tough time at the moment...am not 'sick' as such but am having trouble dealing with the $30k consequences of the last time I was sick...am trying my best to work out the best solution to my problem and my family are trying to 'help'...my father does this in a very intrusive way...has opened my mail on occasions to check if they're bills or not...but when I pull him up on this and tell him not to be so nosey and intrusive he tells me "you can have it like it is or you can go to buggery and end up in jail"...my brother has told-all to his best friend...I'm planning to take a short holiday interstate at the end of semester to see my pregnant-and-in-need-of-support best friend...a short holiday that I've already had to postpone 3 times due to illness, circumstances and finances... and my brother's friend told him he should be disgusted that I would even consider doing such a ridiculously frivolous and selfish thing, given the situation I'm in...so now he takes everything she says as gospel and gets under my skin at every opportunity under the guise of "helping"...he should NEVER have disclosed my private business to her anyway (especially since, knowing him, his disclosure would have involved a lot of exaggeration and judgement about my mis-deeds), and she's a stupid f_____g ***** for telling him he should be disgusted...when my brother first learnt of the magnitude of my difficulties he said "oh my god, if I was in your position I'd kill myself"...not the best thing to say to someone with bp ...and my brother keeps pushing and pushing and pushing and pushing at me to postpone uni, he's like a dog with a bone and won't leave me alone, and now he's trying to rally my parents to the cause as well...on top of "not buying" my situation at all and completely dismissing the fact that I have bp at all, he has absolutely no concept of how hard it was to struggle back from illness earlier this year and go back to uni and my resultant unwillingness to postpone it...I can feel myself starting to get depressed but every time I become tearful I get accused of turning on the waterworks and trying to manipulate people...I don't know what to do anymore...
The more life goes on, the more I'm starting to think that the consequences of being sick and what it takes to drag myself back when it does happen are as bad as being sick in the first place...

fiesty_leo

Last edited by fiesty_leo; 08-06-2005 at 04:46 AM.

 
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Old 08-06-2005, 10:27 PM   #2
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 18
Lil' Angel Eyes HB User
Re: Financial (and other) consequences...

Hi Leo,

I'm new here, just wanted to say, wow! I wouldn't like a family member opening my mail or telling my personal business to a friend or disputing my diagnosis or any of that other rubbish. My goodness. No wonder you're troubled and needing to unload! You really don't have much support at home, I'm so sorry.

I have come to realize that my emotions are just as important as the so-called "normal" person's--That if I am sad, I have every right to feel sad. That sometimes, if I am down, it's not because I have BP, it's because I'm sad, and I shouldn't have to rationalise it. Sometimes BP people get sad for situational reasons. Wow. What a bloody enlightening idea. LOL. That's right. I'm so tired of hearing-> a normal person is down, yeah they're sad, if I'm down, it's because I have BP.

Do what your heart tells you. Why let someone tell you what to do. The holiday with your friend sounds wonderful. And why not go to uni? Why postpone it? You've the drive now, I say full steam ahead and take no prisoners. University calls, I say listen.

Take care...((())) And a hug from a newbie. Sounds like you might need one!

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Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night

 
Old 08-06-2005, 10:42 PM   #3
Member
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Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 89
fiesty_leo HB User
Re: Financial (and other) consequences...

thanks Lil' Angel the reply and hug were much appreciated. I know that my brother is far more judgemental than supportive (in a conversation last night he said? "you can't stop me offloading to my friends blah blah blah")...but with my parents I believe that it's not that they're un-supportive, they do try to help but it's mis-guided...which makes it even more frustrating...oh well, I suppose misguided help is better than none...

 
Old 08-06-2005, 10:59 PM   #4
Junior Member
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 18
Lil' Angel Eyes HB User
Re: Financial (and other) consequences...

Quote:
Originally Posted by fiesty_leo
thanks Lil' Angel the reply and hug were much appreciated. I know that my brother is far more judgemental than supportive (in a conversation last night he said? "you can't stop me offloading to my friends blah blah blah")...but with my parents I believe that it's not that they're un-supportive, they do try to help but it's mis-guided...which makes it even more frustrating...oh well, I suppose misguided help is better than none...
Hi Leo,

Oh good...Your parents just love you then hun. Misguided help is a good way to describe it, know exactly what you mean. It definitely is better than nothing. As far as brother...well...I wouldn't confide anything in him that I wouldn't want told to someone else. But I suppose he probably gets information from parents too? Just guessing. I've just learned over the years not to tell certain things to certain people. It seems so awful to have to keep things so guarded, but when you have an MI, some people just don't understand and are not supportive. Especially when you said he didn't believe the diagnosis, and the bit about if he was in your position what he would do....Awful. What's the old saying? Keep it close to the vest? Would apply maybe. Just don't tell him anything anymore. Maybe someday he'll grow up, eh??
__________________
Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night

Last edited by Lil' Angel Eyes; 08-06-2005 at 11:00 PM.

 
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