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Old 08-15-2005, 02:20 AM   #1
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obsession....

and no, I don't mean the perfume I'm sure this has been covered here before but sometimes I feel like I am the only one who gets completely obsessed with something only to drop it shortly afterwards. For example, music is my absolute passion. Cliched as it is, it is truely the soundtrack to my life and I have a massive collection (thousands of cds, cassettes and vinyl). The pattern (and it can apply to anything I become obssesed with) runs thus:

Find a band/artiste and fall instantly in love with them
Start collecting everything they have ever done
Spend hours searching for information about them
Join a messageboard to talk about them
Play their cds constantly without listening to anything else
Talk about them non-stop

This continues for at most 3 months and then they abruptly drop away as they are replaced by the next obsession.

I can see myself doing it, know it is ridiculous and that i am constantly repeating the same patterns with whatever area the obsession arrives in. I assume this sort of behaviour is common (please tell me it is!) but when it's happening (and that is constantly) I feel like there is no-one who knows what it is like to be caught in this cycle of continuous obsessions. I hate myself for falling into the same trap again and again but I have yet to find a way to break out of the cycle. Any thoughts and/or suggestions would be most welcome.

Mojo xx

 
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Old 08-15-2005, 04:19 AM   #2
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Re: obsession....

Mojo,

I think it is pretty common. I for one do it too. I may even drop things quicker than 3 months in. If I have a project and it isn't going as planned I set it aside, and may never get back to it. It's frustrating!
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Old 08-15-2005, 04:50 AM   #3
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Re: obsession....

Believe me, you're not alone! I don't have bipolar disorder, but I do have OCD, and I have every one of the symptoms that you described! Once I like something, I research it non-stop and can't think of anything else. During mania or hypomania, a person can become obsessive in regards to their many projects and aspiring interests, so I wouldn't think this would be uncommon. It does get annoying after awhile, though, when you're searching and searching some more to find any new information about a specific topic to quench your obsession's insatiable desire for knowledge... I think that the difference between this obsessiveness in the two mental illnesses is that, in bipolar disorder, the person will get many new interests when hypomanic, only to drop their interest shortly after. I, on the other hand, never seem to drop my interests, and new ones keep getting added on, so my head becomes even more jumbled and cluttered and noisy than before! I also set my many projects aside, but again, for a different reason: I'm perfectionistic, and worry that I'll do the project wrong, so I leave it go to stop the worrying that doing the project induces...
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Last edited by GatsbyLuvr1920; 08-15-2005 at 04:53 AM.

 
Old 08-15-2005, 05:18 AM   #4
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Re: obsession....

Thank you. It is good (not good but you know what i mean) that I am not alone. I'm heading for a downer right now and I'm spending money like water on things I have to have that I know I will lose interest in in a couple of weeks time. I'm frantic to have these things and my partner is beginning to complain that the money I spend (mine, not his) could be put to better use. He's right. I can't justify what i do and he finds it so hard to understand that if I don't do these things my downer will be even worse because I'll be angry that I don't have them and miserable without them... well you know what I mean. I just wish that once I have them they had the ability to stop the need and to stop the tears. C'est la vie!

 
Old 08-15-2005, 06:17 AM   #5
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singsong HB User
Re: obsession....

Tell your pdoc...maybe you need a med adjustment. There are many other things much more destructive to be obsessed with in my opinion, i.e., binge eating and other addictions.

Good luck and maybe you will get more control with a new med or combo. Do you attend any kind of 12-step meeting? They are often very helpful to us!!

 
Old 08-19-2005, 04:30 PM   #6
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Re: obsession....

I've had such obsessions since I was a teenager. (I am 30 now).
I would become obsessed with things like:

- a movie
- a music style
- a soccer team
- a country
- an event I would go to
- a city
- becoming one of the best guitarists
- my weight, when I was anorexic
- solving the puzzle of a misterious illness

etc etc

It would always make me feel very special and I would have that thought that it must be important to other people too. I would see myself through their eyes and get so high on the thought that they must realize how much I feel... weird..... Do you get that too?

I don't know if it has anything to do with bipolar/mania. Maybe? I have never been diagnosed bipolar, but have the suspicion I might have it.
I wrote that post about "mania as its own theme" because guess what, that has become an obsession too, that would make me feel "high"!

Kathrin

 
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