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Old 08-17-2005, 07:34 AM   #1
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Picali HB User
Feeling a bit glum

Hello all

Just feeling a little bit disheartened. Went to the docs this morning to check my medical records - as we are moving again I just wanted to make sure everything was in place for the new docs at the other end. I was quite upset to see the general feedback from psychs to Gp is that I'm unco-operative, unwilling to listen and something of a maverick. I've never thought about myself in this way. I can have violent outbursts when I'm ill but it's usually me that gets hurt. I did have one nasty outburst in hospital when I wrecked a room - I'm not saying that's okay but it was very unusual for me, I was very poorly and I did apologise afterwards for it, but it seems that that one incident has coloured a lot of reports since. One nurse reported to my doctor that I'd been abusive - I'd called in a very distressed state which he told me was my fault because I was over anxious (I think we've all been in this situation!). I told him he'd made me feel like ****** and put the phone down. I know swearing isn't nice but I was crying when I said it and I didn't shout, so I wouldn't have said that was abusive? Also, he called me later and apologised to me, so why is he making it look to the doctor that I was the one being rude? There were other reports about me refusing therapy - I did refuse it after six weeks but only because the woman was dreadful - I've had a lot of success with therapy and am a strong supporter of it, but she was awful and I went back to my private lady, yet it's been written like I threw their help back in their faces, which wasn't how it was. I've also discovered that my sister called them last year after we'd had a row and told them I was getting manic again and refusing to take my meds - this wasn't true and my family always do this when we have a bust up - they never accept there's a problem, they just blame my illness and I find that really hard.

Sorry to waffle on - it's really upset me. I consider myself to be quite a nice person and I don't think they've portrayed my situation accurately, or taken into account all of the things I do off my own back to try and help myself.

Just needed to vent

Thanks for reading

Picali x

 
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Old 08-17-2005, 11:31 AM   #2
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michele1975 HB User
Re: Feeling a bit glum

Sorry your having to deal with this and I hope things get better for you. Feel free to vent anytime
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Michele

 
Old 08-17-2005, 12:21 PM   #3
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Join Date: Aug 2005
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RagingRobin HB User
Re: Feeling a bit glum

Picali...I know it's easier said than done, but try not to dwell on it. Doctors, nurses, and therapists are people too and some of them are just insensitive jerks who have no business working with human beings.

Several years ago when I was very depressed, I had a therapist put me down and make mean remarks regarding the sound of my voice when I cry. I ran out in a state of hysteria and never went back.

The h*ll with those people! They don't know jack. What a sad state of affairs it is when the very people we turn to for help make us feel worse!

As for your sis, sounds like she's got her own set of issues. Lying to your docs because she's mad at you? Puhleez! That's pretty low.

Keep taking the high road and remember that their opinions of you do not define who you are.

Hope you get through this ok.

Robin

 
Old 08-17-2005, 12:43 PM   #4
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Picali HB User
Re: Feeling a bit glum

Hiya

Thanks for your replies. You're completely right, I just find it hard because I feel that my integrity is no longer valid within the system. Everyone else seems to be believed over me now, and I find that especially hard with my family because they are sooooooo messed up!! I find that's a common theme on this board - I have often said that I am the healthiest one in my family because I at least acknowledge and tackle my problems. My mum and sister have both called docs in the past after we've argued saying I've gone 'crazy' again and I find this very hard to deal with. So yes, I will hold my head up and remind myself how awful some of the so called 'professionals' are - just needed to get things off my chest.

Thankyou! xx

 
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