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Old 08-19-2005, 06:06 PM   #1
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feelinglost HB User
Never ending issues......

Wow....it seems like its one thing after another with my bf. We just get through one issue and up comes another. He is finally going to see a pdoc Monday to get meds. but only because I told him i couldn't be in a relationship with him otherwise.....just to many ups and down and lies. I know I should walk away because he really does treat me like **** but everytime I try he comes back crying to please take him back and I cave everytime!!! He want's to be with me all week but come the week-end all he wants to do is party with his friends so he can get drunk and self medicate!!!! ~ I am pretty sure there have been other woman as well.....so do I have the word IDIOT written across my head or what!!! Anyway, how much of this goes away with meds. especially if he is not willing to give up the drinking with his buddies???? Am I fighting a losing battle here???

 
Old 08-19-2005, 10:31 PM   #2
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batmatic HB User
Re: Never ending issues......

None of it will go away with meds. Not his type of behavior, it can't be blamed on Bipolar Disorder. Sounds to me your bf wants you when he wants you but has little consideration for you and what you want.

Kick him to the curb: he isn't ready for a commitment, he's a terminal little
boy and probably always will be. You deserve better than to allow yourself to
be used as a doormat. Don't allow yourself to be used by this manipulative
( tearfully showing up at your door begging to be taken back) self-centered (reserving the weekends specifically for partying with "the boys")guy.

 
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Old 08-20-2005, 12:18 AM   #3
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Angie79 HB User
Re: Never ending issues......

I know how you feel. I have been on and off with my bf for 5 years now because he won't take his medication! He promises me he will, but never does. We are broken up right now and there is no way I will ever take him back this time unless he takes his meds and changes. He has mentally abused me our entire relationship, sad thing is that we have a daughter together. I just can't stand it, he gets irritated at every little thing and blows up. Then there are times he doesn't want anybody around and won't even speak. He himself doesn't even have a good reason as to why he doesn't take it!

 
Old 08-20-2005, 08:44 PM   #4
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batmatic HB User
Re: Never ending issues......

Medication alone isn't responsible for your boyfriend's behavior. Mental abuse is not
a symptom of Bipolar, it's a personality problem and something he can control or
refrain from if he wanted to. I think pinning your hopes on medication, i.e. he will act
better/ everything will change for the better is wishful thinking. Things will still be
the same as far as his personality. Yes, it will help his moods but it isn't going to
correct his personality flaws and character defects. Medication can't change a
worm into a butterfly.

I think you have given him enough of your time, and with stood enough of his
disrespect for you and your daughter, as well as his totally unacceptable abuse,
to say you gave the relationship your best effort and walk away.

Do so before the situation becomes ugly and he resorts to violence. You realize, I'm
betting, that verbal abuse almost always escalates into physical abuse.

You can't make him take his medicine and the medicine can't cure all his problems even
if he took it. My advise is to accept the situation for what it is instead of waiting
for any changes from him due to medicine or otherwise. He obviously doesn't want
to change.


(I hope I haven't offended you, I'm just concerned)
Bat

 
Old 08-21-2005, 03:40 PM   #5
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feelinglost HB User
Re: Never ending issues......

Bat
You did not offened me at all.....just the oppsosite. You said exactly what I needed to hear Thank-you!! ~ I love your analogy " medication can't change a worm into a butterfly" I think you are so right, medication can only do so much for a person. And he has yet to follow through on going to the doctor to gets meds anyway....who knows if he ever will.

I really do want to Thank-you for caring and being concerned!! ~ It is wonderful to know there are people out there that understand what I am going through and can help me see things from an objective view point. It will be hard to walk away because I do care about him, but for my own emotional well being, I know it is something that I HAVE to do!!!

Much appreciation!!!
Feeling Lost

 
Old 08-26-2005, 05:18 PM   #6
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Angie79 HB User
Re: Never ending issues......

Were you talking to me batmatic? If so, I am starting to think you are right. I think he is just an a$$ and likes to use being bipolar as an excuse! He flips out over nothing all of the time! An example would be that one time we were shopping and I pointed out a shirt to him that I thought would look good on him and went off on me! As stupid as that sounds, he did. He called me every name in the book and went on about how much he doesn't like me. Then he lets a few days go by and apologizes and admits that I didn't do anything wrong. It is an endless cycle.

 
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