am i bipolar???????? - Bipolar Disorder Message Board

xX___candyheart · 10-23-2005, 02:26 PM

ok, lately, it's occurred to me, that maybe my emotions aren't normal...
one minute, i'll be happy, completely carefree, then all of a sudden i'll hate myself and want to die...
and i've been fighting with my mom lately and saying things that come out in outbursts then the next second i'll feel so bad and hate myself for saying that....
same with my dad, i'll be talking to him and HATE him and wish he was dead then, i'll walk alway and LOVE him and want to take back how mean i just was....
all of a sudden i'll be completely "hyper" and energetic and stuff then without warning all i want to do is just stand there and do nothing....
i have a hard time consintrating in class and i get sidetracked/destracted easily....
i'll be sitting there... my mind completely blank then all of a sudden things will just pop up in my mind and flash by quickly and then they'll be gone and i wont really be able to remember wut just happened...
one day i'll be completely confident and ok with myself... then the next day i'll completely hate how i look/act and have no self esteem wutsoever.....
i go threw these day to day stages where i'll be completely focused on one goal then i'll wake up and move on to a new one.... i can't stay focused on anything no matter WUT. and same with things like hobbies/sports/jobs... i cannot say with them...like i'll be so focused on sayting with it and getting good then i'll just get bored the next week and hate it...
sometime the littlest STUPIDEST things make me so angry just randomly.... like for instense, something my mom was doing that she does ALL the time, but this time it made me so angry i went in my room and threw this box full of junk at my wall, and shaderd everything...it came it a burst the next second i felt so bad it was unbelieveable....
i donno are those things that would say i'm bipolar????

GatsbyLuvr1920 · 10-23-2005, 03:47 PM

It sounds more like Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) to me. Maybe check the personality disorders board? Good luck, God bless, and if you have any more questions, feel free to ask!

-GatsbyLuvr1920-

xX___candyheart · 10-23-2005, 04:02 PM

thanks... i feel really stupid right now... but wut exactly is BPD??

GatsbyLuvr1920 · 10-23-2005, 04:42 PM

BPD, or Borderline Personality Disorder, is a chronic condition where the sufferer experiences quickly changing moods, a lack of identity, self-injurious behaviors such as cutting, an overwhelming need to be in a relationship, an intense fear of abandonment, and jealousy/suspicions about their partners. Hope this helps!

-GatsbyLuvr1920-

InsanityAddict · 10-24-2005, 04:08 PM

I agree with GatsbyLuvr1920. I can really relate to what your going through. I thought for a while that i was bi-polar, but I did some reasearch and now I believe that it's BPD. I would recommend getting evaluated. That's the only way you can know for sure. Be completely honest, and if they wont listen to you, LEAVE. Trust me, nothing is worse then being wrongfully diagnosed.