Bipolar & Work - Bipolar Disorder Message Board

GidgetPiecukoni · 11-06-2005, 07:45 PM

Hello All.
I am just freaking out and need to vent. I am Bipolar and one of my huge issues is that I have a hard time working. I also have severe anxiety and panic disorder which makes it even worse. Luckily I have a great husband who is supportive and takes care of the bills so that I dont have to work if I am having one of my moments. I just have to get real though. We will never have the things we want or accomplish most of our goals on one small income that barely leaves us money for gas, food, etc. I want to have a baby and that costs so I need to do something. But I don't know how. The holidays are coming up and we plan to move to Denver next fall so we need to save up money for the move. So I just go a job - it's only seasonal which is good and bad. I will need to find another one immediately after for moving money. The thing is...I don't start my job for another week and I am already scared to death. I am convinced I won't be able to handle it. It is 3-12 hour days in a row so I'll get 4 days off to relax and still pull FT pay but I just don't know what's wrong with me. I am currently in a depressed stage now and just waking up is hard enough. I just don't have the energy. When we get to Denver, my plan is to do something from home for additional income. I have alot of college degrees that are in fields that I can do that but I am still doing alot of soul searching to decide what will make me happy. What will make me want to do a job for 20+ years? I need to find my passion but it also has to do something that's on my own with no restrictions and alot of flexibility. I am going to go to this job but I just don't know if I can do it for the duration of the season. Anyone else have similar issues with being bipolar and working?

Colby11 · 11-07-2005, 02:47 AM

Hi Gidget, I can understand how you must feel. Just try and be relaxed about starting the job and stayed focussed on achieving your goal. Making $$$$ for your move to Denver. You didn't say what type of work you would be doing, I hope its physical and you can exert your energy out that way. WOW 3 days a week and 4 days off thats FANTASTIC!!! 4 days to recover.
I find that by exercising and eating right helps me with my BP. If you feel good, you look good and hopefully all will be good.

Good Luck
Colby11.

Toby706 · 11-07-2005, 10:19 AM

Gidget-

I jumped right into the night shift after being diagnosed BP and on Depakote and Zyprexa, I had to work 10pm-6:30am and the Doc told me to "switch my meds" from AM to PM(vice versa, you see). This was the worst thing...The whole thing blew up in my face. In my experience, BP's working overnight/excessive hours-or in your case 3-12 hour shifts is asking for possible trouble(i.e. mania).

vo-5 · 11-07-2005, 03:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GidgetPiecukoni

Hello All.
I am just freaking out and need to vent. I am Bipolar and one of my huge issues is that I have a hard time working. I also have severe anxiety and panic disorder which makes it even worse. Luckily I have a great husband who is supportive and takes care of the bills so that I dont have to work if I am having one of my moments. I just have to get real though. We will never have the things we want or accomplish most of our goals on one small income that barely leaves us money for gas, food, etc. I want to have a baby and that costs so I need to do something. But I don't know how. The holidays are coming up and we plan to move to Denver next fall so we need to save up money for the move. So I just go a job - it's only seasonal which is good and bad. I will need to find another one immediately after for moving money. The thing is...I don't start my job for another week and I am already scared to death. I am convinced I won't be able to handle it. It is 3-12 hour days in a row so I'll get 4 days off to relax and still pull FT pay but I just don't know what's wrong with me. I am currently in a depressed stage now and just waking up is hard enough. I just don't have the energy. When we get to Denver, my plan is to do something from home for additional income. I have alot of college degrees that are in fields that I can do that but I am still doing alot of soul searching to decide what will make me happy. What will make me want to do a job for 20+ years? I need to find my passion but it also has to do something that's on my own with no restrictions and alot of flexibility. I am going to go to this job but I just don't know if I can do it for the duration of the season. Anyone else have similar issues with being bipolar and working?

I had the same issues and finally had to quit working. I applied for SSDI and finally got it (two years later). I have BP and anxiety. Having no stress from working has really helped me. Good luck to you.

Ruth6:11 · 11-08-2005, 07:03 AM

Hi Gidget, I wanted to say welcome here to the boards - I can really relate to what you had to say and maybe we can help each other out.

About finding that passion - well, I discovered that my passion and my job are now two different things. I've found a place here and on a few of the other Boards that I feel like I can really help someone out with. Helping someone is what makes me feel really good about myself and that definitely isn't guaranteed on a job!

I'm a Type I, and I was lucky to respond to lithium very well. I worked for a long time - until I hit menopause. For some reason the hormonal changes just totally whacked me out. I quit my job of over 10 years (lots of heavy anxiety, inabilty to concentrate, couldn't proofread my own work, stared at the computer screen for minutes at a time)

I couldn't even think about working for over 2 years. I could barely get out of the house. I felt much of the anxiety about NOT working that you expressed. I was also afraid that my wonderful husband wouldn't be able to deal with it. ( We don't have children, my decision, because of the medication factor) After 2 years I did find a part-time job, 3 days a week M-W-F with 8 hour days.

It is the STRESS to your system with the particular job you mention that really concerns me. Shifts like that are difficult for normal people, and regular eating, sleeping, working schedules can go along way to helping folks like us stay balanced.

I have a feeling that your instinct may be trying to tell you something.... Does your husband truly understand bipolar disorder? Less pay on a less stressful job would be better for you than higher pay with odd hours.

There are alot of mighta-coulda-shoulda's in the world, and I can guarantee that I've whined about alot of them. Life isn't fair - but if being Bipolar is what has been handed to me then I guess I'm supposed to make the best of what I've been given.

No matter what you decide about this job I hope you continue to come back with other stuff, or to help someone else - you probably have a few stories to tell I would imagine...!!
Ruth