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Old 12-29-2005, 09:03 PM   #1
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Making up stories and lying

Is is common for someone that is bipolar to make stuff up all of the time? My ex keeps e-mailing me and he doesn't make any sense and his stories are not adding up at all! For example; first he told me that he is quitting his job for now and that his girlfriend that he has been with for 4 months is going to support him by her still working during that time. He also said that he is also going to marry her next month and get on her health insurance. (he has told me over and over that he never wants to get married) he said he was going to a doctor for his bipolar disorder at the mayo clinic. He said since he would be out of town and not working and that he couldn't pay me child support.

Ok, then he e-mails me a few hours later and said that they talked it over and he is not going to the mayo clinic at all and is staying in town here and will still be working and just go to a doctor here.

Then the next day he e-mails me again and tells me that he sorry for saying some of the things he has been saying to me (we were arguing about stuff) and that he has a lot going on right now with his girlfriend. He said that she has serious health issues and they are waiting to hear from her doctors. He made it sound like it wasn't good, and he did ask me a couple of weeks ago the name of the surgeon that operated on my dad when he had colon cancer. He wouldn't tell me why at the time.

Now, does this make any sense?? First she is going to be working to support him and then the next day he says her health isn't good?Also, I happen to know that he is still looking for women to date (i have proof), yet he told me he was getting married next month! He does stuff like this all of the time and did the whole 5 years we dated too. Things never add up. Is this common with bipolar or is it maybe something he has along with it? I have thought that he may possibly have borderline personality disorder, but he has never been diagnosed with it. It is just so strange.

 
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Old 12-29-2005, 09:14 PM   #2
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Re: Making up stories and lying

My husband is bipolar and does the same kind of stuff. Except he tells stories about things that happened before we met that are so unrealistic I know they can't possibly be true. I honestlt don't know a whole lot about bipolar, but am really trying to read up on it and kind of understand these things also. But judging by what you have said It seems alot like the things my husband does also. My husband is not on any medication though. I think if he were on something maybe some of his lying would stop, but everytime he has been on meds he stops taking them within 2 months or so. Does your ex take meds?

 
Old 12-29-2005, 09:24 PM   #3
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Re: Making up stories and lying

No, he hardly ever takes his medication. I think the whole time we were together the longest amount of time he took it for without stopping was about 2-3 weeks. Most of the time he doesn't take it at all or just here and there. He is confusing the heck out of me. I never know what to believe and what not to believe.

 
Old 12-29-2005, 09:31 PM   #4
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Re: Making up stories and lying

I know what you mean, I have actually gotten to the point of telling my husband when I know he is lying, and he will usually just say whatever(but he quits lying for ahile). There was also a time when my husband and I were split up and I was pregnant with our son that he called and told me all sorts of stories about how he has a new girlfriend and all the things they do together in bed and blah, blah, blah. Well at the time it really hurt me, but come to find out it all was a lie. He did cheat on me a couple other times, but that time he was just flat lying. I don't understand if he thinks his life is that boring that he has to liven it up alittle, or if he lies to hurt me or what. I anderstand where you are coming from though. If you evre figure it let me know

 
Old 12-30-2005, 09:14 AM   #5
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Re: Making up stories and lying

My boyfriend seems to have a hard time with me because i am always telling him different things like one day i am going to quit my job and the next day i say I am not. He says I am always switching back and forth and he can't keep up with me. I don't even remember most of the things I have said. I don't do a lot of lying but I do just 'forget' to mention some things.
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Old 12-30-2005, 10:10 AM   #6
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Re: Making up stories and lying

I was at another bipolar forum some time ago and this topic came up. It was quite a debate even involved a nurse who claimed bipolars dont lie. At one point I would have been greatly offended that people thought bipolars could be habitual liars, until I met a few. I even did research on the topic and found overall lying is not considered a bipolar attribute yet there was one study that did have significate evidence showing for some lying was a big part of their bipolar behavior. I have first hand experience with 3 extended family members that can lie so well I know without a doubt they could pass a lie detector, one of them did, although he was still charged and procecuted with sexually abusing his own daughter. Good Luck, Best Wishes for 2006!!!

 
Old 12-30-2005, 11:44 AM   #7
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Re: Making up stories and lying

Interesting topic. My son with bipolar will tell lies but they are usually soooo outrageous that it's easy for me to recognize it's a lie. I'll call him on it and he'll swear up and down that's the way it happened, but if you ask him about it a couple of days later he'll change the story and say he was confused.

Sometimes I think he really believes these stories while he's telling them and then at some point snaps back into reality and realizes he was mistaken. I'm not sure if that qualifies as a "lie" or just a disconnect from reality. It's hard to deal with though.

For example: One day he casually asked me if I remember walking down a street in Atlanta with him while my friend beat him down repeatedly on the sidewalk. I told him no because it never happened but he swore up and down I stood there while my friend beat him to a bloody pulp. (I don't hit my kids so I assure you I wouldn't stand there and allow anyone else to do it) He was thoroughly convinced it happened though. He kept asking me why I didn't pull my friend off of him and all I could say was that it never happened.

A few days after that I asked him about what he'd said and he brushed it off as confusion with a trip we took to Atlanta and something he saw in a movie once. Not sure what to make of that.

 
Old 12-30-2005, 01:56 PM   #8
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Re: Making up stories and lying

Thanks for the replies. It sounds like this is pretty common then. If I call him out on something he will change his story, act like he doesn't remember saying it at all, or just ignore what I said. It is really frustrating.

 
Old 12-30-2005, 03:02 PM   #9
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Re: Making up stories and lying

So, while not wanting to attempt to tell you about my 24 (newly! yesterday) rapid cycling bi polar life, I'll give what I can to this topic. I can tend to tell exagerrated stories where parts and bits are true then the other tends to be outrageous. My mom who has studied bi polar since I was about 14, calls me on it. I don't know why its just what flies out of my mouth. I tell it till I think it really happened or sometimes I forget about it altogether. Happens between my cycles or something. Hate it though. But after all the meds I do take regularly ... Zoloft 250 mg, Geodon 120 mg, and Seroquel 300 mg, oh and Klonopin 2s but it still happens, and Ive switched meds alot, 12-15 times. Ive begun to think its just me.

 
Old 12-31-2005, 11:36 AM   #10
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Re: Making up stories and lying

I'd say just get on with your life. If he doesnt pay child support, contact the child support division and let them handle it. Sounds like he doesnt know from day to day what he'll be doing. Who cares>> get on with your life and tell him to do whatever suits him and good luck.........waste of time to fret over what all he says and doesn't do.......

 
Old 12-31-2005, 03:23 PM   #11
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Re: Making up stories and lying

Quote:
Originally Posted by flintrock
I'd say just get on with your life. If he doesnt pay child support, contact the child support division and let them handle it. Sounds like he doesnt know from day to day what he'll be doing. Who cares>> get on with your life and tell him to do whatever suits him and good luck.........waste of time to fret over what all he says and doesn't do.......
Yeah, I know. You are so right. We were together for 5 years and makes it hard to just let it go. If we didn't have a child together it would be so much easier because I wouldn't have to deal with him at all. I shouldn't let it get to me and I know that.

 
Old 12-31-2005, 03:28 PM   #12
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Re: Making up stories and lying

I'm bipolar and although I don't outright lie outrageously, I sometimes confuse reality a bit, and people just tend to laugh it off. I think outright lying is a pathological or sociopathic trait, not neccesarily a bipolar one. By the way, good luck getting your child support. Your ex sounds kinda out there.

 
Old 01-02-2006, 01:31 PM   #13
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Re: Making up stories and lying

I am Bipolar and I have to admit...I do lie. It's strange. People say that crazy people don't know they are crazy right?? But I catch myself making up ridiculous stories daily about my past or someone I know or something I did or said that day and I catch myself realizing that I am saying it but feeling as if it is reality. Like I really did it but can still say to myself afterwards "why do I keep lying". It's really weird and I am actively trying to catch myself so I don't continue to lie but it is almost uncontrollable and I even pray to God each day to help me stop. I am not on medication.

 
Old 01-02-2006, 03:24 PM   #14
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Re: Making up stories and lying

I think sometime for people that are troubled that it is easier to lie than tell the truth. Kind of an escape mechanism. I know of many bipolar people and have seen this be true. But then again I know of many other people that have no problem that lie like the devil too. It becomes a way of life that they get into the habit of doing that it is easy as cutting bread. Lieing makes them feel better and after a while they can escape to that world they have created. In a way it is a way of dealing with pain and not have to face what they have to.

I swear if I listened to this big builder we know who is richer than God himself you would swear he invented DIRT. And he believes it too. And I swear is making others believe it. I guess we all have some problems to deal with and at least you are dealing with yours. Take care.

 
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