It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Bipolar Disorder Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 01-13-2006, 03:53 AM   #1
Newbie
(male)
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: California
Posts: 2
SocialOutcast HB User
I think im losing it

First off ide like to say "hey" to everyone

I was diagnosed as BP early last year(although they think ive been BP since i was a child), since that day i think ive slowly but surely been loosing it (my mind that is) I have tough times differentiating between fiction and reality, i cant sleep, my mind just wonders 24/7, im un-motivated, paranoid, anxious, i cant even spell, read or think strait anymore, i worry non-stop about whats to come, will it get worse, will it get better, what can i do, should i commit myself, and so on and so on, which eventualy leads me to the suicidal stage, i know deep down i would never do it, i love my family too much to put them threw that, but i guess what im looking for is confirmation that this is "normal" for a person suffering from Bp disorder and not just me going more crazy. Right now im on Depakote (750mg), it seems to help with the depression, it puts me in a full blown manic episode but when im like that i question everything(above), when im depressed i dont do anything, so ontop of my question "Is this normal for someone with Bp" i want to know if there are other Bp's out there that lead normal lifes, is there any hope to leading a normal life? or am i dreaming? im really at a point in my life where i just dont know anymore and i could really use some words of advise, personal experience, encouragement, ect.
Thanks for reading my rambling, i just had to get a few things off my chest.

-Dave

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 01-13-2006, 05:02 AM   #2
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 2
SkitzoAfektive HB User
Re: I think im loosing it

I know what u are going thru. I am the same way. I cant even read chilhood books sometimes, and understand them without reading them over and over again. its very hard. i worry all the time about what my house looks like, and if others approve. i am a very clean person, and everyone says its immaculate. i dont think so. also, its hard to go anywhere, cuz i am ok up until 12pm, then my mind is shot, and i cant function right. so i make sure i do everything before noon if i want to get it done. But i have no fun in my life, constant worry all the time. i have so many things to do at home, and do not feel happy to do them....puzzles,shoot pool, read books, play games, video games. all the things i used to love i dont anymore. so i can relate
__________________

 
Old 01-13-2006, 06:38 AM   #3
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 655
barbaric_yawp HB User
Re: I think im losing it

Hi, Welcome!

Yes, totally Normal! All of what you described fit me at my worst. Meds and therapy helped me to calm my jitters and sooth depression! How long have you been on Depekote? I was on this for a while but when it did not work for me (which is what I suspect in your case), my meds where changed. I will recommend what I know what worked for me: Lamictal and Abilify.

You asked if we can lead normal functioning lives? YES! I too could not function when depressed, and started lots of projects when manic--none of which got finished. Now, I am a successful professional with tons of potential to improve my financial status. I juggle this with being a mother and other hobbies to keep busy and am very content. So, YES, there is light at the end of the tunnel!!

Sincerely,
B.Y.

I too am not a bit tamed, I too am untranslatable,
I sound my barbaric YAWP over the roofs of the world.


W. Whitman

 
Old 01-13-2006, 03:55 PM   #4
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Chicago, Illinois
Posts: 187
loopyturtle HB User
Re: I think im losing it

Hi, and thanks for your ramble.

Yes, I can see myself in your description. Most of my days are better now, but it has taken a long time. It has been almost 15 years since beginning the med attempts. Sorry. My goal is to encourage here. There are a lot of different kinds of meds out there. Sometimes it takes a little trial and errror. Sometimes the meds are correct, but the dosage isn't.

One thing I have learned that has helped me a lot is that sometimes I need to adjust the expectations I have for myself. "normal" is a very fluid thing. I've had to adjust goals. I look for little things I can celebrate. Like the fact that I actually put the groceries away within 24 hours of first getting them into the kitchen. Or that I actually got myself out of the house to get them, and maybe got some things I had planned to get.

Hang in there, and know that you are NOT alone.

--Loopy
__________________
--Loopy

 
Old 01-16-2006, 04:14 PM   #5
Newbie
(male)
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: California
Posts: 2
SocialOutcast HB User
Re: I think im losing it

Thanks for clearing that up for me, i wasent sure if it was just me or if this was typical with BPD. since i posted this ive done a complete 180, i feel much better, not so 'lost', and your comments made me feel even better, i made an apointment with my Doc' to see about getting on different meds, Depakote is just making me WAY too tired all the time, and i find myself not doing anything, or not able to do anything.
Thanks again for all your comments,

-Dave

 
Old 01-16-2006, 05:21 PM   #6
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 655
barbaric_yawp HB User
Re: I think im losing it

Quote:
Originally Posted by SocialOutcast
Thanks for clearing that up for me, i wasent sure if it was just me or if this was typical with BPD. since i posted this ive done a complete 180, i feel much better, not so 'lost', and your comments made me feel even better, i made an apointment with my Doc' to see about getting on different meds, Depakote is just making me WAY too tired all the time, and i find myself not doing anything, or not able to do anything.
Thanks again for all your comments,

-Dave
I am glad to hear that you are doing better now, the doc is a good place to start. It may take awhile to get the perfect mix of meds to feel the full time benefits, but keep it up, you are on the right track!

B.Y

 
Old 01-19-2006, 05:08 AM   #7
Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 67
LOWnly~Me! HB User
Smile Re: I think im losing it


Hello There,
I am glad to hear that you are feeling a little better, I wont reitorate what everyone else has said, in that the feelings that you have are quite "normal" for people with BPD. I was intrigued however that you stated these feelings were more apparent from the day you were diagnosed??? Was it the shock have having a deffinate diagnosis, a tag to your feelings and the problems your were experiencing up until diagnosis? As I thought about it, health wise, if you felt under the weather but did not quite know what was wrong, although the symptoms would still be the same, you would be dealing with it, then if a doctor said that it was something terminal you would obviously be mortified and terrible feelings from then on would generate and manifest. I suppose what I am trying to say is, did it shock and scare you to have this diagnosis? You need time to come to terms with this as it is a major part of your life, and having it as clear and deffinate now will obviously cause you some mental chaos. You will be trying to adjust, and will be wondering what it all entails, but you are the same person now as waht you were previous to that day. Try to put a positive light on it, now you know you are armed with the knowledge and can research into the condition. Knowledge is power and it will enable you to understand yourself, thoughts and behaviour a little more. It will give t you the chance to read up, famialirize yourself with others and join appropriate groups etc. Or whatever it is you need to do in order to gain some relief and control in your life. There are many times in my life when I literally cannot read, I dont understand numbers, I am so consumed with paranoia, all sorts of terrible things happen and I am extremely embarrassed by it, not that I should be but still I am. Anyway I do hope that you continue on the upwards route and I wish you every sucess.

 
Old 01-19-2006, 01:49 PM   #8
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 655
barbaric_yawp HB User
Re: I think im losing it

I hope you are having some great days. Let us know how you are doing...

 
Old 01-24-2006, 04:15 AM   #9
Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 67
LOWnly~Me! HB User
Re: I think im losing it

Hello There,
I hope you are feeling a little better than on your last post. Have you come to terms a little with your diagnosis?

"Negative states of consciousness are more effectively dissiptated by strategic behaviour, than by introspective scrutiny"

"Unconscious beliefs about ones self often grow out of childhood experiences, and a negative view of ones self is at the heart of depression"

"We are all apt to believe what the world believes about us"

My thoughts and prayers are with you for a happy fullfilled life.

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
I Think I'm Going Insane, Please Read Whole Post User#1337 Mental Health 55 03-30-2009 09:38 PM
Health Anxiety - I am losing my mind, I think. rachel1982 Anxiety 9 09-27-2006 02:17 PM
Help I Think I'm Cracking Up!!! Please Please Help!!1 samcunningham Mental Health 5 08-26-2006 11:38 PM
I think I'm losing my hair - HELP glass_pockets Hair Loss / Alopecia 5 08-26-2006 07:01 PM
Help!!! I Think I'm Cracking Up!!! Please Please Help! samcunningham Depression 6 08-12-2006 08:21 PM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added




Top 10 Drugs Discussed on this Board.
(Go to DrugTalk.com for complete list)
Abilify
Depakote
Lamictal
Lexapro
Lithium
  Prozac
Seroquel
Wellbutrin
Zoloft
Zyprexa




TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



reesie (68), katlin09 (59), Administrator (24), TinoRock (14), bprapcyc (10), thatgirl141 (7), lynnlee (6), annii456 (4), ghelpmelivelife (4), ginger3130 (3)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1180), MSJayhawk (1004), Apollo123 (903), Titchou (847), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (759), ladybud (754), sammy64 (668), midwest1 (668), BlueSkies14 (610)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:25 PM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!