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Old 01-13-2006, 11:34 PM   #1
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Tylers_Mommy HB User
Question about bipolar...

I am having so MANY problems lately with Jace. Can someone possibly tell me (kinda) what its like to be bipolar. I know its a wide question but seriously. If I can better understand his problems maybe I can better understand the reason for some of the things Jace does. He is so odd and some things just totally light a fire up under my butt. lol All kidding aside, I hate to get mad at the little guy and I want so badly to be more understanding of Jace and the things he does. If I could just understand a little more you know.

Thanks, April

 
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Old 01-14-2006, 05:54 AM   #2
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Ruth6:11 HB UserRuth6:11 HB User
Re: Question about bipolar...

For me growing up was knowing that there was SOMEthing different about me. But never knowing what it was. It was having odd ideas (that I was going to get a little 4 inch high human being to take care of if I just believed enough for example). It was doing just off the edge strange things. (drinking so much water to prove that I was one of the big kids that I had to be carried home in great pain, eating a turkey leg bigger than my arm because no one thought I could do it)
Then 13 hit, and everything went right down the tubes for years. I had "school phobia", my stomach hurt horribly. I missed the end of 8th grade, all my freshman year and all of my senior year.
All the while knowing that something was wrong, being tested for everything, wondering why my parents still loved me & how long would that last if I couldn't "shape up" better.
It was being told to "snap out of it" - but I COULDN'T. No one understood that I COULDN'T do a mind over matter thing and act better - or get out of bed - or be normal.

Believe it or not I was not properly diagnosed with Type I Bipolar until I was 30 years old. You can imagine the havoc my life was until then (makes for alot of stories that I can't tell just everyone!). I was in hospitals numerous times, had ECT, many different meds, went to a psychiatrist for years... But because no one saw the manias (hell, I felt great so why see a doctor, huh?) I was diagnosed as schizophenic early on, and then as a depressive.. but after much escalating embarressing incidents while manic (only once or twice a year for me) I finally showed up at a doctors office with full-blown psychotic mania. Talking a mile a minute, racing thoughts, grandiose ideas.

That was 20+ years ago. With just Lithium I now have a job, a marriage, a stable life.

But, I live with the fact that under the surface I am still Type I Bipolar. Still different.
Still having to keep an eye on what I say, how I say things, if my moods are starting to get off track.

Looking back, being bipolar was the easy part - being my Mom had to have been sheer hell. Her unconditional love and a stable homelife probably aided in my stability today.
She's 79 now and STILL wonders what she could have done differently when I was little. Bless her heart, she still doesn't understand that Bipolar only responds to medication and still wants to blame herself for some of it.

You sound like a WONderful mom - and I hope you have support within your family with some "timeouts" for yourself when the chemical imbalance is creating behaviiors that are just driving you up the wall...

Not to mention that you've come to a great spot for support here!!
Hang in there, remember that the moods/behaviors are symptoms of a brain disorder just like high blood sugar is a symptom of diabetes. (hard to live with too)

 
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Old 01-14-2006, 07:36 AM   #3
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barbaric_yawp HB User
Re: Question about bipolar...

Check out the thread above our posts:

Attention Newbies! Please Read: Bipolar Disorder Symptom Primer

This is very helpfull

 
Old 01-15-2006, 04:01 PM   #4
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TonyaM HB User
Re: Question about bipolar...

For me,
It's almost like excessive worry/ paranoia in the depressive phase. I'll freak out at the store when I buy things even though I have plenty of money, or I'll think I need to break up with my girlfriend. I want to shut everything out but I can't. MY mind races so fast.
In the manic phase, I feel unstoppable. I will lift leights for hours on end and sometimes think that maybe I will be the next strongest woman, even though I know this is rediculous as I am no where near accomplishing that. Before being treated, I would binge on food and I couldn't stop eating. I could eat anything and not gain any weight and eat nothing and not lose any weight, so this was EXTREMELY frustrating as I tried to diet many times.
In fact, it seemed like anything I attempted was useless and I didn't want to try anymore. Even if I did accomplish the most incredible thing I would never be happy. Hope this helps.

TonyaM

 
Old 03-03-2006, 10:56 PM   #5
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Re: Question about bipolar...

You both have been a huge help! I thanks for taking time to explain for me and give me an idea of what hes thinking at times.

I can honestly say it must be so hard going through life not knowing what your going to feel like within the next 15 minutes to 10 days! Its amazing what you all have to go through!

Ruth...your a strong person! People like you make the world go round'!

Hugz, April

 
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