Both my mother, half sister, father, and atleast of half of my father's side, respectively, is bipolar. All were medically diagnosed by doctors, and I know atleast my father and sister have been on medications for it. I'm getting a bit worried because, although I haven't been diagnosed for it yet, I'm sure I'm bi-polar.
The past several months my mood swings have been worse to the point to where I either can't sleep at all or can't get out of bed. I'll cry at the slightest hint of criticism, or cry for no reason. One day I can become almost obsessive as to how clean my house is and have the house spic and span in only a few hours; other days I struggle to throw in a load of laundry. I've become overly depressed about life and money problems, but will impulsively buy or do something I know I can't afford to.
My grandmother(on my mother's side) committed suicide in her 40's, and my father committed suicide in December of '04 in his 40's, and I'm afraid that if I don't find some help, I may end up doing something stupid. I haven't had many problems with it so far, but that doesn't mean I won't later.
Where can I go to be tested for this, and how much does it cost? I really don't have the money to go, but I know I need to in case I need to be put on something for it. My father was in the military, so he had VA benefits, but I don't think VA would help me.
I'm clueless but I really would like to do something about it. Any info would be greatly appreciated.
To get to the point, I'll be frank. Do you have any health insurance at all? If so, you can call your company and they can tell you where to go and if they can cover it. Some benefits include mental health, in which they will guide you to a place where you can afford or even go for free. If you are still in school (middle, high school or college), you can go to your school counselor. Sometimes specific schools are able to test for certain things at the schools expense. If anything, the counselor will point out where is best for you. Or you can go to a family member and ask for their guidance. All the things I suggested cost little or no money.
Actually, I graduated in '03 from high school, so that doesn't help much. My husband's job(for some odd reason) doesn't offer health insurance even though he's a military contractor. I believe my uncle is a doctor(I don't see him except for family functions), but don't you need to go to a psychologist for that?
I wish I could help you with where to go physically but I cant as I am in the UK and we have a totally different system here. However mentally I might be able to help. As opposed to looking for a lable for how you are feeling, as I dont see that as the primary concern. Personally I think that if the feelings, experiences and thoughts that you are having on a daily basis are not pleasant (which they sound like they arent), and you dont feel able to cope fully, then it is only right that you get some help. Your mood swings, sleep pattern, low mood, crying etc must be effecting you. How much of it is real to you though and NOT the fear of knowledge that your family have had previous diagnosis for this illness? Also to loose your father the way you did must have generated some intense feelings of sadness, anger, depression etc, all at a young age. If you cant distinguish your genuine minds way from your feelings over these matters of great importance to you then again I say you need help in doing that. There is just as much chance that you may not have the chemical imbalance as there is (I know you may rate higher with family history) but please dont convince yourself because the power of the mind can have profound effects. Psychosymatics, there are whole departments for this in hospitals, the mind can generate physical/mental wellbeing or to the contary. Please dont think I am dismissing you in anyway because I am not, I am just trying to put a different light on things for you. Another way of seeing it too is that there are many many different knids of mental illness, it doesnt have to be as extreme as BP disorder. I do think just for peace of mind, or to get some treatment for how you are feeling that help is the answer. The family members that were diagnosed could they not help you at all, they will know the right path to take? Is your husband supportive? I wish you all the best, kind regards.