Welcome to the boards, I am new here and I can tell you that from what I have experienced everyone here is kind, considerate, helpful and can fully relate, if not offer very good advice. As you will appreciate its great to feel that you are not alone, as that can enhance the low feelings. I am sorry to hear you feel a bit confused about it all, I suppose we all feel that way, I can certainly relate to some of the experiences you have. Panic attacks for a start, arent they just awful, every part of you is consumed with sheer fear, and the woest part is mostly you dont know where its from (or in my case). Do your meds help you at all with that? Do you take your meds all the time? Also the severe depression, that big black hole that seems to get darker everytime you enter into it, it seemd never ending and sometimes you wonder if you will ever get out, but you do and you put the experience under your belt, and hopefully use it to your advantage when/if it happens again. Do you have a good doctor? Or are you part of any groups? Are your parents supportive of you? I hope you dont think im nosey, its just the more we know the more we can help one another. I have BP and OCD, I also suffer from panic attacks so can really feel for you in all that you are going through. Being as young as you are must make it a little harder as you are only really finding out for yourself who you are, so to have all these extra feelings, that are in the main bad, must be terrible for you. There is light and there is hope, just because you you what you are does not in anyway prevent you from excelling in life, and grabbing what happiness you can. As I see it these things that are imbalancing my brain, are just a part of my life, admittidly yes at times they can be more prevalant than I would like but there are times when I do feel "normal" whatever that may be!!!! I do hope that I ahve been of some help. My thoughts are with you.