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-   -   stigma (http://www.healthboards.com/boards/bipolar-disorder/363160-stigma.html)

DMIXEDUP 02-04-2006 10:16 PM

stigma
 
Anyone else have that stigma that sends visual signs to either coworkers or people out in public that you are in a grumpy mood, so back the f#$% up? ;)
I just dont smile alot, never have really and I always feel that just because I look ****** off, people are afraid to approach me. Really Im not ****** off, just have so much on my mind, just look serious most of the time. I daydream and drift off quite a bit, even when someone is talking to me face to face I lose focus and attention.
Now I had a screening a year back on ADD, and I was right on the money for that disorder. I see the traits of add and bipolar in me, but is it just bipolar overall? I wonder about that. Sometimes I will say things off the wall, and I feel different than others. Too many followers out there in this world. LOL Am I just nuts or just normal in my own world? :jester: :eek: :confused: :yawn: :D :nono: ;) :p :angel: Moody one, aren't I?!?!

mudhound 02-05-2006 03:37 AM

Re: stigma
 
Very good post. I'm going to watch this one.

GatsbyLuvr1920 02-05-2006 05:12 AM

Re: stigma
 
Stigma over mental illness freakin' sucks! :mad: I'm not bipolar, but I have severe OCD, mild Asperger's, panic attacks caused by my OCD and specific phobias, Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), and cyclothymia, and I can't tell you how few people believe me! I just was officially diagnosed with OCD in October of 2004, so I only told a few of my good friends in high school. However, now that I'm in college, I don't know these people, I don't connect with any of them because they don't share my passion for learning, so I'm, like, "screw it", and I proceed to tell all of my "friends" (read "acquaintances") about my OCD. It just really pisses me off that so few of them take it seriously, especially this one "friend" I have, who I now just hang around with because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings... :rolleyes: He and I were both in physiological psychology together last semester, a class that deals with the neurobiological causes of everything that happens in the nervous system, including mental illness. So, when I got to know him well enough and we were "friends", I told him about my OCD, also because I thought he'd of all people believe me because he's a neuroscience major like me, with a basis in biology. Anyway, one night he comes to my room so we can study physio, and I mention something about how my OCD was really bad that day. I never told him all of the details about my OCD (I tell VERY few people), just that I have it, because I'm not ashamed. So, he just nods his head and looks away. I say, "Admit it- you don't really think I have it, do you?" He hesitates, and I merely say, "Tell me the truth. I'm used to it." His reply was, "Yeah, I'm a little skeptical..." :nono: I've been uncomfortable around him ever since. It just kills me that all of these people think that I assume I have all of these diagnoses because I read about them on the Internet, and that all I have is overexaggeration of typical anxiety present in a college student. Wrong. Do you want me to show you the bottles upon bottles of psychiatric medications on my dresser? Will that make you believe me, even though I know I've already told you I take medication? This is the way it is with practically everyone here: I merely tell them I have the diagnosis, but once I sense their disbelief, I don't say anything more; if they seem to understand, I tell them more personal things. I just feel really awkward whenever one of these non-believers asks me if I want to go somewhere or study or something, and I say, "Sorry. I have CBT at 1 o'clock." No response. Jerks...Do I tell them what I'm doing at CBT? No- just that I have therapy. And I have the added bonus when these "friends" want me to go do something with them- I don't do well around people, so why can't you just leave me alone? I'll come see you when I'm ready. Don't keep bugging me while I'm holed up in my room because of being paralyzed from panic attacks! Go away! As it says in the No Doubt song "Platinum Blonde Life": "I'm closin' all the curtains, so don't you even bother." Exactly. I don't want to be around anybody right now, especially people that don't understand. All-in-all, stigma is awful. I can't get over how, even today, after the new age of neuropsychiatry, that people still don't believe that mental illness is a REAL illness! They don't realize how much it impairs the sufferer. :( I'm so sick of it...I feel so misunderstood by everyone- just leave me be to talk with my only true friends here: my professors. Leave me be to throw myself into my homework and passion for learning, an Asperger's trait none of you "normal" people possibly experience. That's why I come on these boards so often, so I can talk to people who actually understand what it's like to live with a mental illness and the stigma that inevitably accompanies it. Thank you for posting this, DMIXEDUP; it's nice to vent to someone else who feels the same way. It seems that I have the opposite situation- I can't get people to read my clues that I'm having a bad day and they keep bothering me because I should just "get over it"...God bless! :angel:
-GatsbyLuvr1920-

DMIXEDUP 02-05-2006 06:59 AM

Re: stigma
 
[QUOTE=GatsbyLuvr1920]Stigma over mental illness freakin' sucks! :mad: I'm not bipolar, but I have severe OCD, mild Asperger's, panic attacks caused by my OCD and specific phobias, Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), and cyclothymia, and I can't tell you how few people believe me! I just was officially diagnosed with OCD in October of 2004, so I only told a few of my good friends in high school. However, now that I'm in college, I don't know these people, I don't connect with any of them because they don't share my passion for learning, so I'm, like, "screw it", and I proceed to tell all of my "friends" (read "acquaintances") about my OCD. It just really pisses me off that so few of them take it seriously, especially this one "friend" I have, who I now just hang around with because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings... :rolleyes: He and I were both in physiological psychology together last semester, a class that deals with the neurobiological causes of everything that happens in the nervous system, including mental illness. So, when I got to know him well enough and we were "friends", I told him about my OCD, also because I thought he'd of all people believe me because he's a neuroscience major like me, with a basis in biology. Anyway, one night he comes to my room so we can study physio, and I mention something about how my OCD was really bad that day. I never told him all of the details about my OCD (I tell VERY few people), just that I have it, because I'm not ashamed. So, he just nods his head and looks away. I say, "Admit it- you don't really think I have it, do you?" He hesitates, and I merely say, "Tell me the truth. I'm used to it." His reply was, "Yeah, I'm a little skeptical..." :nono: I've been uncomfortable around him ever since. It just kills me that all of these people think that I assume I have all of these diagnoses because I read about them on the Internet, and that all I have is overexaggeration of typical anxiety present in a college student. Wrong. Do you want me to show you the bottles upon bottles of psychiatric medications on my dresser? Will that make you believe me, even though I know I've already told you I take medication? This is the way it is with practically everyone here: I merely tell them I have the diagnosis, but once I sense their disbelief, I don't say anything more; if they seem to understand, I tell them more personal things. I just feel really awkward whenever one of these non-believers asks me if I want to go somewhere or study or something, and I say, "Sorry. I have CBT at 1 o'clock." No response. Jerks...Do I tell them what I'm doing at CBT? No- just that I have therapy. And I have the added bonus when these "friends" want me to go do something with them- I don't do well around people, so why can't you just leave me alone? I'll come see you when I'm ready. Don't keep bugging me while I'm holed up in my room because of being paralyzed from panic attacks! Go away! As it says in the No Doubt song "Platinum Blonde Life": "I'm closin' all the curtains, so don't you even bother." Exactly. I don't want to be around anybody right now, especially people that don't understand. All-in-all, stigma is awful. I can't get over how, even today, after the new age of neuropsychiatry, that people still don't believe that mental illness is a REAL illness! They don't realize how much it impairs the sufferer. :( I'm so sick of it...I feel so misunderstood by everyone- just leave me be to talk with my only true friends here: my professors. Leave me be to throw myself into my homework and passion for learning, an Asperger's trait none of you "normal" people possibly experience. That's why I come on these boards so often, so I can talk to people who actually understand what it's like to live with a mental illness and the stigma that inevitably accompanies it. Thank you for posting this, DMIXEDUP; it's nice to vent to someone else who feels the same way. It seems that I have the opposite situation- I can't get people to read my clues that I'm having a bad day and they keep bothering me because I should just "get over it"...God bless! :angel:
-GatsbyLuvr1920-[/QUOTE]




At times I feel like mycoworkers are the loony ones, so to speak. :p I don't relly socialize with them much mainly because I dont trust them nor do I want to let myself be drawn into that gossip bull#$%^ that's there no matter what your profession is. LOL I admit Im a tough person to approach. I let my supervisor know about a year ago what was going on with me, left him some messages on his phone at work cause he rarely picked up if anyone called in. Hes not my sup anymore but a guy that used to live with him works in my area now, and it irks me at times cause he looks at me sometimes like he knows something that I dont know. Im sure its paranoia for the most part, but man I hate that feeling with a passion.
Now I can call into work without getting any occurences or any type of trouble. I discussed the depression with someone with human resources. SHe suggested the FMLA(Family Medical & leave Act), which has helped me out a tremendous deal especiallly on those days that I just can't go to work mentally. Id rather keep myself in my room locked away.

twoeyez 02-08-2006 11:38 AM

Re: stigma
 
DMIXEDUP :

Perhaps, stigma is really a "point of view". More personally, our own "point of view". Because we look at others thinking they "know every thing about us" additude. Maybe this is just "normal" for us who have bp and ocd for that matter. Is the challange for us to just :) and continue to believe in ourselves? Or do we need to hide in that "shell" around us, for the unknown -to "protect us" ? :eek:

Gatsby :

An amazing vent. I'm glad you got it all out. It just seems a little not "like you" when most of your posts are geared toward the learned knowledge of bp and ocd. Perhaps you have really found the "answer" to dealing with stigma and knowledge. Anyway,it could be a your own "serenade." ;)

Eyes

Ruth6:11 02-08-2006 06:43 PM

Re: stigma
 
I believe that age made a big difference in how I feel about stigma - because it is a sure bet that most people who are ignorant about mental illness aren't going to get any better.

When I was in my 20's & 30's I cringed at the thought of people "knowing" about me. Now, in my fifties I really don't care whether they know or not and pick and choose on an individual basis.

I'm no longer bothered by the words people use without thinking: crazy, nuts, animaniacs, etc. They don't know any better.
Although, once when someone went a little too far I said quietly, "You don't have anyone in your family with a mental illness, do you...."
I think it made them think for just a minute anyway - maybe they'll be a teeny bit better educated than if I got angry, you know?

The time that stigma DOES bother me is when wonderful people come here whose family doesn't understand, doesn't try to learn, and acts like Bipolar Disorder is a behavioral issue alone.
THAT gets to me...
:angel:


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