It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Bipolar Disorder Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 02-05-2006, 01:26 PM   #1
Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 89
meljo HB User
Hi Just my thoughts

Hello, I come here everyday and just read .. I read all the new threads and even some of the old ones..

Iam a wife of a bp husband. He has been diagnosed for over a year now but we've known for quite some time.. weve been married 16 years this march.

I guess I just want to vent a little.. my hubby is well medicated... or as good as can be exspected... I just get so sad about a few things one being the Doctors...

they just seem to give you meds and say "we'll see what happens" and send the patient on there way .. and guess what its us the other partner that does the "we'll see what happens"... we are actually the ones who say yes that med worked or no it made you down for more then your normally 6days... or what ever....and then you have no voice in it when it comes to the doctors ... they want to hear from the patient... well sometimes he can tell you and other times he is so UP or DOWn that I cant even get him to talk to me..... I think I need therapy!!

the other thing that makes me so sad it to know that this will probably never going to change... I cant imagin that there is a Miracle drug out there... and Iam sure if there was it would have side affects.. such as no sleep.... my husband rarley sleeps more then 3 or 4 hours and he toss and turns all night...

I love my husband with all my heart and I would never leave him.. he is a good man... and a great father... but I know that he and I will never be a "normal" couple and he will fight this disease the rest of his life and that just makes me sad...

Thank you all for reading and listening... I enjoy each one of you .... and I have a speciall helllo to mudhound... I love hearing about your wife and family... thanks
Meljo

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 02-05-2006, 08:21 PM   #2
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Belleville, Il, USA
Posts: 664
NodiGoiterGirl HB User
Re: Hi Just my thoughts

Just wanted to say Hi.
My husband is BP also. Sometimes I think I need therapy as well. I love my husband more than he will ever realize, I just wish there was an easy solution for him. He has been on so many meds I think he is giving up. It's hard to be positive and push on, but for him I have to. I hope someday he can find the strength to try new options, but for now we are at a standoff. He has always tried his best to get better and I can totally understand him being tired of it all at this point. I just have to keep hope that all of these hard times will someday be in the past and we can have a normal relationship and he can have a normal life.
I'm here if you ever need to talk,
Take Care,
Nodi

 
Old 02-06-2006, 04:26 AM   #3
Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 89
meljo HB User
Re: Hi Just my thoughts

Thanks Nodi,

I know Iam not alone out here.. its just sometimes it sure feels that way...

I wish there was a sapport group close to home but theres not.... I will always have you guys and thats great!!!!

god bless Meljo

 
Old 02-06-2006, 08:36 AM   #4
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 655
barbaric_yawp HB User
Re: Hi Just my thoughts

they just seem to give you meds and say "we'll see what happens" and send the patient on there way .. and guess what its us the other partner that does the "we'll see what happens"... we are actually the ones who say yes that med worked or no it made you down for more then your normally 6days... or what ever....and then you have no voice in it when it comes to the doctors ... they want to hear from the patient... well sometimes he can tell you and other times he is so UP or DOWn that I cant even get him to talk to me..... I think I need therapy!!

Go ahead and vent! That is what these boards are for..

Just wanted to comment on this statment from your post: if you do not have a doc that lets you have a say, then get another doc. This is why. If the docs rely soley on your husband's rundown of behavior, then they are relying on the ill person for guidence. This is all wrong, he may have a version of his behavior, but it is not as objective as yours. Doc's need to combine his feelings WITH your observations to make the correct diagnosis. In my case, i allow my husband to call and let them know when i am depressed or manic because I might not always give them the correct update. Know what I mean???

Yes, you do need therapy. There are groups out there 'spouses of bp people' or something like that, who discuss how to deal with your loved one. I am glad that you take your wedding vows seriously, for bp really challenges the 'for better or for worse' commitment. God bless you for loving him no matter what. But, you need to do therapy for yourself in order to stay strong for him. BTW: if you have insurance, you can get a counsellor for yourself who can help you one on one. Either way, you MUST do something or else you too will loose your will power.

As far as meds are concerned, yes, 'well see what happens' is the modus operandi, meds react diff w/ everyone and getting the correct mix is a process. They rarly hit the nail on the head the first, second, third, times. Very difficult for you in the meantime.

hope this helps, if you continue to post I will do what I can to help. I come from the bp perspective in my marriage and may be able to give you some information coming from my side.

B.Y.

 
Old 02-06-2006, 10:30 AM   #5
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: MA
Posts: 522
TeTr01 HB User
Re: Hi Just my thoughts

This sounds so familiar. My father is manic BP. My parents were married for 25 or so years by the time they called it quits. My mother was always very supportive of him... he had a few bad episodes over the years when he had to go to the hospital. He went on & off meds sometimes. I know it was really hard on my mother, but she stuck by his side & wanted him to be better... but there came a point when it was only her trying - he claimed the dr's told him he's cured & didn't need the meds anymore... well there IS NO cure for BP - so he was obviously lying. Then when they split, he started doing crazy things like slashed my mom's tires, then slashed the tires in my gram's car that she was borrowing. He would come into our old house & leave creepy messages on the huge mirror up in her room in red lipstick.

BP it tough to deal with - but the person going through it has to understand that the need their meds to be ok & it's not fair to their partner to take irrational things out on them. But when they are having an episode, they are not thinking that way. They don't care what they do or who it affects.

I think it would be a great idea for you to go talk to a coucelor or something yourself once a week & get YOUR feelings out, too. Afterall - he is your husband & you have to deal with his actions & it can be tough at times. It could help you out a great deal!

Good luck!

 
Old 02-06-2006, 11:32 AM   #6
Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 89
meljo HB User
Re: Hi Just my thoughts

thank you all so much.... We have been working on getting another dr.. but that is easyer said then done....
right now my husbands job is real SLOW.. so he is in a great funk...
I will get counsling for myself... thanks agian to everyone..
Meljo

 
Old 02-08-2006, 03:12 AM   #7
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Elkhart, Texas USA
Posts: 32
billiegail HB User
Re: Hi Just my thoughts

I took my husband with me once to a counseling meeting and she hears from my husband through my journal. I value his opinions and he knows me so well that it is scary. It would do me no good to have a doctor that did not value him or his opinions because he is my rock, my glue, and the one that tells me when I am acting up or down because sometimes I am in a state and don't realize what I am doing or what state I am in. I report to my journal everyday and I report what my husband has remarked or said that day. My counselor finds this to be an enormous help. My doctor is new to me and will not be my doctor long if my husbands life is of no value to him. I had one doctor just a month and knew that he was not for me. He was for telling you what was best for you instead of listening to what I needed or wanted. I am about to see his associate for the first time (second if you count the hospital visit) and he seemed to hear me when he saw me at the hospital and upped my dose and I am doing tons better.
I will shutup on that note. I think I have said enough. LOL I am in a manic state at the moment, as if you could not tell. LOL
Night
__________________
every person that I have met in my life has brought with them a lesson. I may not have enjoyed the lesson learned, but I have always enjoyed attending class.

 
Old 02-08-2006, 03:46 AM   #8
Senior Veteran
(male)
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bean Station, TN, usa
Posts: 2,190
mudhound HB User
Smile Re: Hi Just my thoughts

Quote:
Originally Posted by meljo
Hello, I come here everyday and just read .. I read all the new threads and even some of the old ones..

Iam a wife of a bp husband. He has been diagnosed for over a year now but we've known for quite some time.. weve been married 16 years this march.

I guess I just want to vent a little.. my hubby is well medicated... or as good as can be exspected... I just get so sad about a few things one being the Doctors...

they just seem to give you meds and say "we'll see what happens" and send the patient on there way .. and guess what its us the other partner that does the "we'll see what happens"... we are actually the ones who say yes that med worked or no it made you down for more then your normally 6days... or what ever....and then you have no voice in it when it comes to the doctors ... they want to hear from the patient... well sometimes he can tell you and other times he is so UP or DOWn that I cant even get him to talk to me..... I think I need therapy!!

the other thing that makes me so sad it to know that this will probably never going to change... I cant imagin that there is a Miracle drug out there... and Iam sure if there was it would have side affects.. such as no sleep.... my husband rarley sleeps more then 3 or 4 hours and he toss and turns all night...

I love my husband with all my heart and I would never leave him.. he is a good man... and a great father... but I know that he and I will never be a "normal" couple and he will fight this disease the rest of his life and that just makes me sad...

Thank you all for reading and listening... I enjoy each one of you .... and I have a speciall helllo to mudhound... I love hearing about your wife and family... thanks
Meljo
It's a battle of our own mind. I battle this illness from day to day. However, it my wife that has it and I do love her.
It's ok to feel the need for therpy for yourself. I've been there too. I do see a therpist from time to time.
__________________
God Bless

Mudhound

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Schizophrenia or just ADHD and bad life? michaelp2009 Schizophrenia 4 02-10-2012 08:35 PM
Feeling like I am just a bad person! OCDjodie Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) 3 02-09-2010 10:56 AM
I just realised I have OCD. Help!!! Gromet Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) 3 03-04-2009 02:16 PM
Just realizing that I have OCD. jkt27 Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) 4 11-06-2007 10:35 PM
Just need to vent to peope who understand. artsykid Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) 5 07-10-2007 06:54 AM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:14 AM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!