Lately I feel I have indeed been experiencing dissociation of sensiblity, where I think something and feel in practice totally different about it. It sets me up for sheer contradiction as a way to see what a person believes is to percieve how they act. Well nothing I do mirrors my real thoughts, and my feelings seem benign. I cant connect with anything, and it would seem to the outside world that I simply do not care. My thoughts on the ones I love do no in anyway correspond with the way that I feel about them thus causing distress not only for them but internal turmoil for me. Its like my minds jigsaw has been taken apart and been put back together the wrong way, with the pieces not fitting in any way. Inside I am screaming, I want to come out and be the ME that I formally was but I am dormant it seems, almost robotic. Has anyone else experienced this? I know what I should be doing but am not, i know the behaviour I should be displaying but again I am not. It warrants questions and answers to which I simply cannot converse into any simplistic term that someone of "normal" functioning may understand. I am seen as a carefree, careless, fearless, ticking time bomb! When really i hurt so much it hurts to hurt, I feel the pain like lightening bolts running through me but my brain does not do what it should with the signals, it seems to passify the given route and take all of reality to somewhere I cannot find, nor anybody else for that matter. If anyone can relate please do I would be intrigued to know how it is dealt with and overcome. I hope all are well.