Daughter May be Bipolar - Bipolar Disorder Message Board

goody2shuz · 03-04-2006, 12:45 PM

I see that there is a wealth of info here and I am in the scary phase of having my 14 year old daughter evaluated and diagnosed. She has been on an adolescent psych unit since Wednesday and this is her first hospitalization. As a mother this is such a scary road and I am hoping that some of you here can help me see through the fog that seems to have taken over.

My daughter over the past 4 months has become quite agitated, angry, frustrated and generally unhappy at home. She has a history of cutting, a first episode in 2004. She does well academically is an honor student but her behavior has changed quite significantly over the past 4 or 5 months.

Some of the behaviors that we see are extreme agitation, frustration in the home....feeling punished and as if there are too many rules. She has runaway from home and wants to live elsewhere and that is all she can think about. She has also participated in extremely sexual convos on the internet with boys at school and while on vacation often saving them as homework or in a journal page left torn out on her bed. Her appetite has increased significantly to the point that she never feels full. One teacher said that she stole a test from her office when she gets 100 on the tests and has written sexually explicit thoughts in Spanish on her test papers as well. She has lied and manipulated situations to the point where we were most recently investigated by CPS for a scratch on her face that she has since admitted she had lied about in order to be able to be removed from the home. She took half a bottle of advil 5 months ago and since she has been admitted she has admitted to cutting on at least 2 more occasions that we were unaware of (one time I questioned her about scratches on her arms which she said came from thorns while running through the woods which I had believed because she had run through the woods but she had lied) The cutting is often a result of having an argument with friends or family. She also admits to wanting to end her life and thinks about it often with a specific plan (this was talked about once she was admitted for evalutaion).

Our pediatrician, the school social worker, our daughter & ourselves agreed that the inpatient evaluation was the best way to go. However, our daughter after the second day in, begged us to take her home and stated that she was told by friends to "color things up" in order to be admitted so she could get away from us and that she was sorry & had learned her lesson. This worries me because how do we know what is true & what is fabricated....even the suicidal thoughts....how do we know for sure that she needs to even be on meds???

The psychiatrist at first felt that she had a mild depression and that the suicidal thoughts were impulsive. She wanted to start my daughter on Celexa after a day on the unit and we asked for her to hold off until our daughter were observed a little more. The next morning (yesterday) the doctor called stating that she saw more manic behavior (my daughter was happily skippping down the hall and giggily) and would not wnat to place her on Celexa because it could trigger more manic behavior (which was one of my concerns since they had not yet clearly diagnosed my daughter)

We all agreed that it was most important to control my daughters suicidal thoughts and the doctor decided that Abilify would be a better drug of choice. They are leaning towards a mild bipolar but have informed me that at this point in time during adolescence it is difficult to diagnose a particular disorder and that they are observing traits and treating them. Is this correct?? I was thinking that while my daughter was admitted they would have a definitive diagnosis by the time she was discharged but I am being told that they will not.....that they will discharge her and with continued evaluation by a psychologist and psychiatrst perscribing meds she will eventually be diagnosed. For now they intend to treat the traits and symptoms....most importatnly to lower the frustration, agitation and anger that may lead to impulsive suicidal tendencies/thoughts. They feel that the Abilify will do this.

I am a mom who is a "do not medicate unless absolutely necessary"!!

I had no meds during both of my labors and have never given either of my kids a med unless absolutely necessary. And I do not want to start doing so either.

My older daughter went through similar teenage rebellion, not liking rules, impulsive type behavior, fighting, cursing you name it...it wasn't fun and she is 17 still making her share of mistakes but never had the suicidal thoughts/cutting. She was always wishing to be away from us as well in terms of feeling that she was punished too much but we honestly had simple guidelines and responsibilities as other parents do with compromising and the such. I am soo torn wondering if this is all part of the teenage behavior....I know that the suicidal thoughts must be taken seriously....but I am fighting this whole bipolar thing with every ounce of my being thinking that it is just a phase that she will get through and will end eventually with a little help along the way. Am I right??? Am I expecting too much??? Am I in denial or not seeing things clearly??? Please help me out to see what is up ahead for me.

The Abilify was started last night...she is on 2.5mg at bedtime. My daughter has a history of GERD (gastroesophogeal reflux disease) and said this morning on the phone that she had some heartburn with the med but otherwise didn't feel anything different. I am going to see if we can switch the timing to dinnertime in order to help her with the heartburn.

Any advice or support would be so much appreciated. It is a scary time for our family and it would be nice to know if we are doing the right thing and what may be up ahead on the road. I was told by a wonderful cyberfriend that this is the best place to be. And she never lies!!!

(thanks, Ruth

)

~ Goody

jennfaery · 03-05-2006, 03:00 AM

Hmmm, you said this all started about 4 or 5 months ago? I'd start looking for something that was tramatic that happened around that time. Was there a death in the family? Was she raped or molested? Did yall move? Divorce? She get into drugs?

If this all just came out of no where there had to have been something that triggered it. Figure out what that was and get her into therapy so she can deal with it. Also, you need to make sure you communicate with her. Ask her how she's feeling. When she says fine, keep pressing her. She wants you to be interested but she doesn't want you to know it.

I was DXed with BiPolar when I was 12 but I don't think I am. A lot of things happened that year as well as the next 2 and I think I was just trying to cope with it. I already had problems from being abused as a child and then when I was 12 alot of things happend all with in a span of a few months. My parents got divorced and my dad moved away, my great grandmother died who I was very close to, I was molested by my grandfather while we were vistiting them in GA, I had sex(raped since I was only 12) for the first time with a 20 year old man, and I had just started Jr. High and all of my friends turned against me because I stuck up for someone who they didn't like.

Anyway, it was a pretty rough year and I really didn't know how to deal with it all. My mom wasn't really there since she was dealing with her own stuff and I had no one to talk to since all of my "friends" had turned their backs on me. I started cutting on myself and tried to commit suicide a couple of times. I started having sex and acting very promiscuous. My grades starting falling, I ran away a few times. My parents took me to the hospital and then I went to an inpatient treatment facility. I was in and out of there and a few others for the next few years.

If the place she is at is a short term facility, get her out ASAP. All the ones that I went to were nothing but a "fun time" and I learned some bad things about how to cut and where and how to hide things from my parents, Lots of things I shouldn't have. They have so much free time in those that the only thing to do is talk to each other and watch movies. The doctors don't really care, all they want is the money. You can't really help someone in a week and they know that. They don't get too involved either and just hand out medicine like it's candy while throwing around labels to make it look legit.

Long term facilites are a little better since they know they will be able to get to know the child and go a little more in depth. They helped me a little bit but not enough to justify spending all the money my parents spent and taking away the years of my life. Regular therapy and my parents being receptive would have done wonders.

BTW some of the people who work in those facilities are predators. Not only in the short term but also the long term treatment centers. I was molested by a staffmember while I was at a long term treatment center. I was flirting with the guy, you know testing out my newfound sexual power and then when it got to where they wanted to do something I didn't want to. I was scared and had only had sex like 2 times and he was an older man. They didn't care at that point. Like I said I was very sexual since I had been molested as a child and that's what tends to happen to someone who has had that experience.

I prolly shouldn't be telling you some of this stuff. I don't want to scare you. I just wnat to let you know what I went through so maybe you can help your daughter to go a different path then I went.

It sounds like you are very caring and interested in making sure she is taken care of. She needs that right now more then ever. Find out what is going on with her. More then likely she wants to talk about it, you just gotta keep at it because sometimes kids don't think that their parents will understand. But do it in a way that doesn't intimidate her and try not to get frustrated.

I really hope that everything goes well with your family. I hope she has learned her lesson and straightens up but it's not going to happen over night. Get ready for the long haul. Hopefully it wont take that long but be prepared if it does. I will be praying for you and your family and I wish you good luck!

jennfaery · 03-05-2006, 03:20 AM

Also, if she just needs someone to talk to or if she needs some counciling just go that route. Don't medicate unless she is showing severe signs of Bipolar. Some of those meds have been shown to make children suicidal/homicidal and from personal experience it is true.

This might be a phase like you said. She could have gotten a new friend who is having problems and she might just be trying to act like her. There are all sorts of things that could be going on.

She also is a teenager and the hormones that are running through their bodies as well as the peer pressure is nothing to be disregarded. It's a tough time as I am sure you remember. Just try to understand where she is coming from.

She will try to manipulate and do everything she can to get what she wants. All teens do to some extent. You just gotta find a balance with trying to be understanding but have bounderies at the same time. Just remember to be consistant.

I went through this process from your daughters point of veiw so I know what she is feeling to some extent. If you have any questions, please, let me know and I will try to answer them as best as possible. I don't know everything but dealing with the mental health system for a few years taught me a little and I would love to be able to help someone who is going through something similar.

I have you and your family in my prayers and I hope you can work though this difficult time. Please, keep me updated on how you and your daughter are doing.

Jennita · 03-05-2006, 12:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by goody2shuz

I see that there is a wealth of info here and I am in the scary phase of having my 14 year old daughter evaluated and diagnosed. She has been on an adolescent psych unit since Wednesday and this is her first hospitalization. As a mother this is such a scary road and I am hoping that some of you here can help me see through the fog that seems to have taken over.

My daughter over the past 4 months has become quite agitated, angry, frustrated and generally unhappy at home. She has a history of cutting, a first episode in 2004. She does well academically is an honor student but her behavior has changed quite significantly over the past 4 or 5 months.

Some of the behaviors that we see are extreme agitation, frustration in the home....feeling punished and as if there are too many rules. She has runaway from home and wants to live elsewhere and that is all she can think about. She has also participated in extremely sexual convos on the internet with boys at school and while on vacation often saving them as homework or in a journal page left torn out on her bed. Her appetite has increased significantly to the point that she never feels full. One teacher said that she stole a test from her office when she gets 100 on the tests and has written sexually explicit thoughts in Spanish on her test papers as well. She has lied and manipulated situations to the point where we were most recently investigated by CPS for a scratch on her face that she has since admitted she had lied about in order to be able to be removed from the home. She took half a bottle of advil 5 months ago and since she has been admitted she has admitted to cutting on at least 2 more occasions that we were unaware of (one time I questioned her about scratches on her arms which she said came from thorns while running through the woods which I had believed because she had run through the woods but she had lied) The cutting is often a result of having an argument with friends or family. She also admits to wanting to end her life and thinks about it often with a specific plan (this was talked about once she was admitted for evalutaion).

Our pediatrician, the school social worker, our daughter & ourselves agreed that the inpatient evaluation was the best way to go. However, our daughter after the second day in, begged us to take her home and stated that she was told by friends to "color things up" in order to be admitted so she could get away from us and that she was sorry & had learned her lesson. This worries me because how do we know what is true & what is fabricated....even the suicidal thoughts....how do we know for sure that she needs to even be on meds???

The psychiatrist at first felt that she had a mild depression and that the suicidal thoughts were impulsive. She wanted to start my daughter on Celexa after a day on the unit and we asked for her to hold off until our daughter were observed a little more. The next morning (yesterday) the doctor called stating that she saw more manic behavior (my daughter was happily skippping down the hall and giggily) and would not wnat to place her on Celexa because it could trigger more manic behavior (which was one of my concerns since they had not yet clearly diagnosed my daughter)

We all agreed that it was most important to control my daughters suicidal thoughts and the doctor decided that Abilify would be a better drug of choice. They are leaning towards a mild bipolar but have informed me that at this point in time during adolescence it is difficult to diagnose a particular disorder and that they are observing traits and treating them. Is this correct?? I was thinking that while my daughter was admitted they would have a definitive diagnosis by the time she was discharged but I am being told that they will not.....that they will discharge her and with continued evaluation by a psychologist and psychiatrst perscribing meds she will eventually be diagnosed. For now they intend to treat the traits and symptoms....most importatnly to lower the frustration, agitation and anger that may lead to impulsive suicidal tendencies/thoughts. They feel that the Abilify will do this.

I am a mom who is a "do not medicate unless absolutely necessary"!!

I had no meds during both of my labors and have never given either of my kids a med unless absolutely necessary. And I do not want to start doing so either.

My older daughter went through similar teenage rebellion, not liking rules, impulsive type behavior, fighting, cursing you name it...it wasn't fun and she is 17 still making her share of mistakes but never had the suicidal thoughts/cutting. She was always wishing to be away from us as well in terms of feeling that she was punished too much but we honestly had simple guidelines and responsibilities as other parents do with compromising and the such. I am soo torn wondering if this is all part of the teenage behavior....I know that the suicidal thoughts must be taken seriously....but I am fighting this whole bipolar thing with every ounce of my being thinking that it is just a phase that she will get through and will end eventually with a little help along the way. Am I right??? Am I expecting too much??? Am I in denial or not seeing things clearly??? Please help me out to see what is up ahead for me.

The Abilify was started last night...she is on 2.5mg at bedtime. My daughter has a history of GERD (gastroesophogeal reflux disease) and said this morning on the phone that she had some heartburn with the med but otherwise didn't feel anything different. I am going to see if we can switch the timing to dinnertime in order to help her with the heartburn.

Any advice or support would be so much appreciated. It is a scary time for our family and it would be nice to know if we are doing the right thing and what may be up ahead on the road. I was told by a wonderful cyberfriend that this is the best place to be. And she never lies!!!

(thanks, Ruth

)

~ Goody

There could be something bothering her, what's wrong with a little psychotherapy? Why would she want to get away from you? I'd investigate that more.

Also, there is a possibility of drug or alcohol abuse that could cause such behaviors....alcohol, pot, other drugs are a mix of stimulants and depressants, uppers and downers that mess up brain chemistry and can cause things like mania, depression and cutting so I don't know if she's involved in things like that or will admit she is into those things. Also, the withdrawal periods inbetween use can cause simular behaviors.

goody2shuz · 03-05-2006, 03:18 PM

Thanks, Jennfaery and Jennita. We are more confused than ever. We just returned from a visit....our daughter had her first grounds pass for an hour. We brought our dog up picked up some dunkin donuts and slurpees and went to see her. The entire hour she became argumentative bringing up how she has no problems, how the nurse on the unit even asks why she is there, and that there is nothing wrong with her. She indicated that we put her there....we reminded her that she was in on the decision and had okayed it when at school with the social worker. We told her if it was true that she did not belong there that the doctor would have discussed that with us and would have her discharge home planned. We talked about wanting to have her home she immediately talked about too many rules punishment and we told her that we would be talking with the social worker tomorrow about formulating a contract to make it easier to live at home. She went on to say how her boyfriend & his mom were coming tomorrow to visit....we went over how that would not be permitted without us being there, that only parents were allowed visitation but we would bring her BF with us. She said that she wanted the BF's mom "Cheryl" to visit too. We stressed how we throught that the problems she was having with us needed working out and that we wanted her home and understood how she wanted to see her BF but it was not necessary to see the mom as well. She went on to say that perhaps it would be best to live elsewhere, that she wanted to divorce us as soon as she was 16 and could and perhaps she could go to a group home and be adopted. We told her that wasn't what we wanted but that it seemed to be her agenda no matter what...she asked us to bring her back to the unit that she didn't want to argue anymore and to please bring her back. I started to cry and told her that we didn't want the visit to go this way but the way that I saw it was that she no longer wanted to be with us and that perhaps taking a few days to herself would be best and to call us when she wanted to see us, that we loved her very much. I told her until we could work things out it might be best to have the next few visits to ourselves when she was ready. And we brought her back to the unit.

We have a meeting tomorrow with the doctor in the morning and the social worker for a family meeting. I am exahusted and so is my husband. It seems that the med hasn't done a thing to decrease her agitation/frustration. The entire time it seemed that she was angry, misinterpreting things, and totally frustrated.

We had drug testing done and everything was negative. As far as changes go we lost a great grandmother 2 years ago followed by a great uncle she was close to a few weeks after that. She was upset by the loss and her frist cutting episode took place shortly after that. Around 5 months ago we moved at her request to our summerhome.....she was happier here and had developed more friendships and begged to start high school here. We still have our primary home and have asked her if she would like to go back and she gets upset at the suggestion. Her big sis moved out around the same time to go pursue college and this has been an adjustment as well. Otherwise everything has been fine.

Jennfaery...I must say that what you wrote did concern me as well as my husband. I have to say that the thought of past molestation has crossed my mind especially with the hypersexual activity. The doctor says that that goes with bipolar as well on the manic side. Can I ask how old you are now?? Your advice is much appreciated.....the patients in the unit are definitley of concern since they seem to have more problems than my daughter. One boy who is her friend now is there for just trying to make bombs (according to my daughter). His convos do concern me and it seems that she is fitting in much more than the day she bedgged us to get her out of there (which was her first day)

I do not see any effects (positive) from the Abilify and it looks as if our daughter does not want to come home and would rather stay there. We think the break will do us all good and have left the ball in her court in order to work that out.

I do not like the way our visit went and am so upset that my daughter doesn't want to live with us anymore. Jennita if you would like to see why go to the parenting board where I intiially made a post. That may answer your questions more....the thread was closed since I brought things over here.

Thanks for the help.....I could really use the support....I just can't stop crying because it feels as if I have lost my daughter.

~ Goody