just grrr - Bipolar Disorder Message Board

bluesnowflake · 03-22-2006, 02:42 PM

my week is not going so well...
I am bipolar, and take respirdal (just lowered to .25 rather then 1 mg or mcg or whatever it is) and effexor (150mg)
monday I saw my endocronologist (I have hypothyroidism) about my very high levels of cortisol. He pretty much told me there are limitations to what medicine can do and I have to live with what I have.
tuesday I had a performance appraisal at work, and despite a decent raise, the apprasial was immersed in terrible things about me.
Today, I went to herbal magic (since october I have lost 40 lbs) and in the last 3 months, I have lost only 10 of that.

I just feel crummy. Life is going to *****. I hate how little control I have over my moods and my typical reaction to life's hard spots- which would be smoke more weed.

I'm in 3rd year honours psychology, maintaining an A average. The last two weeks of school are on me and I have major presentations that are due and I haven't started them yet, which is unusual for me.

I feel at such a loss, I don't smile. I don't laugh. I cry a lot. I know I am going deeper into depression, but my psychiatrist is not worried. My endo thinks I am fine. My gp is on vacation and tries as hard as he can to find good specialists that will help me. Another doctor, a surgeon that deals with my scans (RAI uptake in august for thyroid cancer) is the most concerned but the least able to help.

Where do I go now?

seriousperson · 03-22-2006, 10:50 PM

Sometimes I think I am communicating about my moods to mental health professionals, but they just aren't getting it.
You could try printing out what you typed above and showing it to them.

bluesnowflake · 03-23-2006, 01:28 AM

oh, to top it off I spent 4 hours in the ER tonight and now have a bladder infection. I am peeing blood clots and it hurts like hell!

cagedbird · 03-23-2006, 01:36 AM

Now you call your pdoc up and tell him your depression is getting worse,& you need a med ajustment. If he blows you off again,find a new pdoc,one that will listen to you. Hope you feel better.

cagedbird